There is no doubt in my mind that it is necessary-- and an act of radical LOVE -- for people to distance ourselves physically until this virus is somewhat under control. However, there is no doubt that this sort of un-natural behavior is taking its toll on many people.
I've cussed , yelled, argued and pleaded with the Coronavirus outbreak. However, I managed to keep the tears away.
Until today.
My downfall was attending virtual Healing Mass online . there is something sad about two priests celebrating Mass in an empty chapel of a vibrant parish. Even though physical distancing is the most loving act we can do for each other participating in Mass remotely is different. The cameraperson did a great job , and I'd almost forgotten that I was worshipping remotely
That is, until my two priests celebrated Communion. I'd started to cry when the prayers of consecration were being said, but I managed to hold my tears to a sniffle. Brian sat next to me and I really did not want to explain my tears to him.
I kept control of the waterworks until my priests walked down the center aisle and saod " Christ's body, broken for you." "Christ's blood, shed for you."
Yup... water flowed at full force.
Looking back, I think that I was FINALLY allowing myself to feel the effects of the temporary ban on being in community. Online community building is wonderful, but some parts of life together cannot translate to the virtual world. The feeling of the Bread being pressed gently into my hand by a priest I love cannot be duplicated virtually. The smell of the wine in the chalice cannot translate over the internet.
Dealing with this reality & the limitations therof hit me in the heart, soul and gut today.
I cried.
Tears are healing.
Take care of yourself...
~Sarah
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