An Ambivert's Lament & My " God's Box"

Believe it or not, for the first three decades of my life, I was terribly shy . { Stop laughing!} Honestly, it was all I could do to do the basic " adulting" tasks

With God's help, and by first finding " my person, and then joining " my people in Pensacola, I've evolved from a true introvert to much more of an ambivert.

For clarity; the definition of Ambivert is: 

NOUN

psychology

1. a person whose personality has a balance of extrovert and introvert features

After spending most of my life as a shy introvert, I've only recently started to bloom.  So, while I understand the necessity of social distancing during this time, it saddens and frustrates me.

 Is the sacrifice worth it to save lives: ABSOLUTELY . 

Does this mean that I have to pretend that I am okay with missing my people during this time? No.  As much as I love Brian--- I long to mix with others, too.  Even though we don't have the finances to eat at downtown restaurants on Gallery Night, I miss strolling downtown on those Fridays and looking at all the people. The fact that I won't be able to attend in-person Mass with my people on Sundays is something that really hurts. 

We are blessed to live in an age where technology allows us to maintain social contact while remaining physically distant. But honestly, I miss hugs and handshakes.  I miss fellowship over a shared meal at church. 

My priest once offered some excellent advice for a sensitive " feeler" such as myself to deal with * stuff* that the world throws at me in a healthy manner. She suggested that I acknowledge my fears, anxieties, ect over what happens,  name the emotions, then place the entire situation in " God's Box"  This practice works, although it takes some intentionality to become a habit.   

Remembering to use the " God's Box" is hard, but a good life skill that I've practiced a lot in the past three months. Two deaths in the family and one Coronavirus has tested the capacity of my God's Box"  But true to form, it has nether overflowed nor broken under the weight of the contents. 

For me, maintaining some sort of connection to people I love is essential.  

For instance, last night I called two people in my life who literally helped my parents raise me. They live in { far Eastern & near Pittsburgh} Ohio where the governor has literally shut down the state. I'd  neglected my relationship-maintaining with them since before Christmas, due to The Worst January In My Life, so it felt good to connect with them via phone.   

The former Sarah would probably thrive in social and physical isolation.  But the Sarah whom you know will seek ways to maintain connections with loved ones, both here in Pensacola and the Pittsburgh-Area Beloveds  Honestly, I like myself now that I identify as more than an ambivert rather than a true introvert  People I love  give me positive energy, and there are many more of those people in my life now. 

I am NOT alone and neither are you. 

Peace

~Sarah