My name is Sarah and I suffer from Major Depressive Illness. Furthermore, my illness is more apparent during the cold DARK months between November-February. I may live in { northwest} Florida, but we do experience winter here . Granted, my depression isn't nearly as horrid during the dark months since I've lived here but winter= Seasonal Affective Depression.
Honestly, my spouse is on the fast track to sainthood for putting up with me for every winter for the eleven years we've been together. I know damn well that I am not easy to deal with during an episode of depression, and thankfully Brian and I did not get together until after my psychiatrist discovered the correct combination of brain medications that work for me.
As anyone who either suffers from or loves someone who suffers from a mental illness can tell you, meds do not " cure" the illness. Medication, with talk therapy { when needed} and good support system are essential for me to thrive. I am not in therapy now, but there have been several instances in my life that found me in therapy & I want to say that there is no shame in asking for help
Holidays can be especially hard on those of us with seasonal depression. As much as we want to enjoy this time of year-- doing so requires a huge effort that often leaves me exhausted. I'm not adept at hiding my mental state-- although therapy has taught me a few tricks that make my depressed self socially-acceptable. faking it really sucks, but sometimes I can fool my brain into actually enjoying holiday events.
Additionally, I am also empathic, so I can " sense" others' emotional energy. If I am not careful, I can become incapacitated with my own depression & others psychic crap. When this occurs I am not good for anyone, especially myself.
As the days get longer , I notice that the quality of my mood is much better. Daylight savings time is a huge pain in the ass for my sleep schedule, but once I ajust , I feel much better with longer hours of daylight. January is my worst month, made even more terrible by the death of both my brother-in-law & my sister-in-law. { within ten days of each other} this year.
To combat my winter depression, I do my best to get outdoors daily. Sometimes the humid cold { and the wet } weather in Northwest Florida makes spending quality time outdoors a challenge. But I do notice that days that include long walks outdoors or { better yet} beach time soothes me. I also find that petting dogs { or cats, but I prefer dogs} helps me when I am in the throes of Winter Depression. Our hound, " Prince Harry" is more than willing to be my balm on dark days.
Society still refused to have honest conversations about mental illness. Our reluctance to bring mental health into the light as a legitimate health problem is literally killing people. Medications are available to help with conditions like mine, but many people cannot even begin to afford psychotropic drugs. Men, especially, fear asking for mental health help-- and I see the culture of toxic masculinity as being a catalyst to this problem. Mental illnesses, including Major Depressive Disorder, cross gender, racial, and socio-economic boundaries. I am one of the lucky patients , and for the help I get I give thanks.
Be kind,
Sarah
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