We may be masked for safety, but we ARE NOT SILENT. This fine priest helped me heal after some crappy experiences with men who " mansplain" and liked to talk over women. She started with me on the journey of finding my voice & now #IMSPEAKING . This woman was my priest for only one year--- but in that year helped me heal enough to begin becoming Sarah. Photo by Brian.
The spouse and I watched the Vice-Presidential debate. To be honest, it was pretty much a shit show. However, my one big take-away from watching Kamala Harris, a Black woman, stand up for herself against Establishment White Man.
She said: I'm speaking."
I'm Speaking. These two little words were balm to the wounded souls of every woman who was ever called " bossy" , or " rude" for speaking up and acting out against patriarchy.
Men, especially White , straight & so-called " christian { small c is intentional} men still control much of society. While it is true that the women on whose shoulders Kamala Harris, myself & any other feminist alive now benefit from the work others completed, we've much more to do.
Last night we saw a White ' christian" man of a certain age attempt to speak over and totally dismiss the words of a younger Black woman. While my white skin allows me more privilege than someone with Kamala Harris' skin hue, I could not help but feel some solidarity with her as this loud, rude, petulant White man attempted to control all of the discussion.
I've been there. Any female-identifying person with vision, intelligence, drive or talent in a male-dominated sector of society has stood where Senator Harris stood last night.
Regardless of our talents , accomplishments and/or qualifications, in spaces that have been set aside as " male dominated" we have been silenced. The silencing of which I speak can come in many covert & overt forms. Gaslighting and " mansplaining: two tactics that were used against Senator Harris last night, are two common forms of covertly silencing women. I've been the victim of such behavior both in the classroom and in a work-related situation.
It sucks.
Frankly, I do not understand why some { not all--- not by a long shot} White, " christian' straight men are afraid of an assertive woman. I do not fear assertive men-- its the aggressive , insecure men with whom I struggle.
I am NOT saying all men are swine, either. As a matter of fact, I'm married to a wonderful man.
Wedding photo of Brian and me. Photo by Ann Woll.
Thank you, Senator Harris, for showing girls & women everywhere that it is totally acceptable to stand up to a man who is trying to dominate the conversation. It tugs at my soul that humans apparently have not quite evolved enough to know that female people are { at least} one half of the world's population and therefore deserve equal representation in all places where power is wielded.
Pop star Taylor Swift sums up the feelings of every " angry woman " or " bossy little girl" in the lyrics to her song _The Man_
"They'd say I hustled
Put in the work
They wouldn't shake their heads
And question how much of this I deserve
What I was wearing, if I was rude
Could all be separated from my good ideas and power moves
And they would toast to me, oh, let the players play
I'd be just like Leo, in Saint-Tropez
I'm so sick of running
As fast as I can
Wondering if I'd get there quicker
If I was a man
And I'm so sick of them
Coming at me again
'Cause if I was a man
Then I'd be the man"
Anyone else see herself in these lyrics? I sure do! I wasn't raised to be a " little lady" , as was raised to compete alongside the boys. As I've encountered patriarchy, and especially women who perpetuate it-- I find myself that oddball " mouthy woman".
I've found my voice, and I'll continue to use it to work for justice for ALL people.
Senator Harris--- THANK YOU!
~Sarah McCarren
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