#PrayingWithFrancis Day 8 : Understood & Understanding

 

                                            A heron in flight. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie

                                            "... To be UNDERSTOOD as to UNDERSTAND..."

I'll be frank with y'all, I do NOT understand how ANYONE can vote for Donald Trump this year.  

2016, okay-- many didn't like Hillary Clinton. Heck--- I don't like Hillary Clinton! But, when it comes to the choice of bad and worse--- it makes sense to vote for the bad one. I know that partisanship plays a lot on making choices , but several classic Republicans I know either DID NOT vote for DJT or ARE NOT voting for him again. 

Nearly four years later-- and really what has this President done ? Full disclosure: I am a Democrat. However, I am no so loyal to my party that I'd put partisanship over the needs of ALL Americans. If the current President ran as a Democrat in 2016-- I would have voted Republican. 

I am a Democrat-- and I wear that label with pride. But first, I am a Christian. Secondly, I am an American. As a follower of Christ, I seek to work towards bringing the nation, the state & the city closer to God's shalom. As a Christian, I hate partisan politics.  As a more moderate Democrat I htae some respect for the classic GOP's platform-- even if I do not agree . There are good & bad people of every political stripe. Politics, just like people, are complicated. 

But the one thing that baffles me this election cycle is Donald Trump.  I cannot understand why people still think he's such a good person and deserves a second term. Full disclosure again: I have never liked the man. I was CRUSHED when he won enough electoral votes to become President. As much as I sensed who he has proven himself to be, I did give him a fair chance. 

I tried to overlook his personal flaws. But his personal flaws bled into his style of " leading" from the bully pulpit. Time and time again, this man revealed his true nature to America-- yet some stand by him. He spreads his hatred of anyone not rich, White " christian' and straight. He has appointed a Supreme Court justice who works with people who wish to eradicate civil rights that Justice Ginsberg  spent her entire career securing. 

 Lies and ineptitude regarding the pandemic has costed hundreds of thousands of American lives. He ignores science and continues 

I DO understand my Black & Brown friends' fear of police brutality within their communities. 

I love and support people in my life who fear that their same-gender marriage might be invalidated. 

We uterus-owners unite against overturning Roe. 

  I do not understand Donald Trump's appeal. I cannot understand why people I love think he deserves a second term.  I have tried to understand party loyalty, but cannot go this far with someone such as Trump.

 As I've stated , I totally understand political partisanship. I'm a Democrat. 

But first I am a Christian. Second, I am an American. 

Trump supporters, I love you. I just don't understand your choice. 

God be with ya. 

~Sarah

#PrayingWithFrancis Day 7 { Skipped a day} Console

 

                                               Rosary beads. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie

    "O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console..."

       As we inch closer and closer to the General Election 2020, my heart is heavy. Brian and I took advantage of early Florida voting and did our civic duty. But to be honest, I am scared.  I am scared for the vulnerable people in this great nation. As I see more and more of what I was raised to espouse be tossed out  by some people who want to Make America White Again. 

   I'm scared for my Black and Brown friends who could see more of their own become victims of police brutality & racial profiling. 

   While my marriage, as a cisgender woman married to a cisgender man, is protected, many people I love stand a chance of having their legal marriages invalidated. 

   As a person born with a uterus, I DO NOT think that anyone--- ESPECIALLY OLD MEN, should tell me or any uterus-owner what to do with our bodies.  

   I am a Christian, but am frightened of the branch of the faith that sustains me that seems to have taken over the Supreme Court. 

   My rights--- and the rights of people I love-- are up for grabs. 

   Its unthinkable what could happen in the future--- even my five-year old niece could lose her right to play varsity sports -- a right that was not too long ago unattainable for girls & women.

  I'm scared. Furthermore, I am angry that the society in which I was raised has devolved into where human rights are pawns in a political game. 

  The following Scripture passage appeared on my church's Facebook page: 

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord you God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.”

~ Isaiah 43:1-3

Frankly, I feel the " waters" rising as tis election comes closer. I want to believe that God is in this, but I see nothing in many of my human siblings that is evidence of God. I cannot imagine a God that would deny God's own people basic human rights. Everyone deserves to live, to love whom they choose { if all parties are adults} . God understands that we womb-bearers are fully capable of making tough choices for our own health. God made all God's people in beautiful hues, and I cannot imagine a God Who " favors " we White people over all other skin tones.

The " fire" that has been this political season has not yet consumed me. But in the interest of full disclosure, I've come way too close lately to being burned alive . I navigate the rough " waters " of Pandemic Life -- not knowing when I'll get to hug my father again or enjoy seeing the smiles of people at church.

If I learned anything during this time-- it is to live fully into the person whom God created . No more, and no less. Most people have had to let expectations go during this pandemic, but I'm finding that letting certain people go has been hard but necessary work. I have not been to Pittsburgh in over two years-- and I'm doubting if I even should try to return next summer. Spending a week in the beautiful North Carolina mountains is probably more soul-filling than doing my best to shut up and nod in the presence of family members who clearly do not share my values.

God is with us.... and God understands why we feel so disoriented at this moment in history. People disappoint-- God is steadfast. That is my consolation.

Namaste....

~Sarah

  

  

#PrayingWithFrancis Day 6 Darkness & Light......

 Undated photo of a sunrise over the cross at Byrne Chapel. Beckwith Camp and Conference Center, Fairhope , Alabama. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie. 

                    "...where there is darkness, let me sow light..."

On this day, two years ago, eleven souls were gunned down while worshipping in their Pittsburgh synagogue. I was in Panama City, Florida on the second of two work trips to aid in cleanup after Hurricane Michael devastated that area. 

  It was a dark day for our nation, but as someone with European Jewish ancestry*** and*** s someone who grew up in the Pittsburgh area, this is an especially dark day. Never in my lifetime hd I or did I expect to see people murdered for simply being Jewish. 

   Two years later I still recall that day like it happened only last week. I'd opened Facebook on my phone to post some photos of the beautiful church sanctuary light when I saw " Prayers for Pittsburgh" from several people. Startled and curious, I opened the CNN News App on my phone and read about the shooting in a familiar Pittsburgh neighborhood. 

  Stunned, I sat on the piano bench & cried. 

Actually the proper response to honor the dead in the Jewish faith is " May their memory be a blessing." But, the important part is that we remember their names. 

   I'm mindful of the others who've cried at the news of race or ethnicity-based violence at a place of worship. Buildings where people gather to worship are supposed to be safe places.  Yet darkness, in the form of one human with hate in his heart, found its way into a light-bearing community of Pittsburghers. 

  Two years later, we've seen more racially-based violence  than we've seen in my entire lifetime.  The dark forces that surround us are hidden in plain sight. When the darkness feels emboldened, it snuffs out the light. 

  Ask anyone who knows me, I'm not a fan of darkness. As the number of daylight hours dwindles as winter approaches the Northern Hemisphere, I find myself adversely affected by literal darker days.  My physical/emotional and spiritual health is good while basking in light. 

   As a Christian, I do my best to BE that Light that this broken world needs so much. Yet this calendar years has thrown many of us ' off our game'.  It is hard to bring that Light to others when a pandemic prohibits even the most casual human touch between people outside of one's household. 

  Many of us are socializing primarily-- o entirely-- online. nd while technology is a blessing during these times, the human soul and mind can only endure so much ZOOMing and other virtual events. Since we are forced to maintain distance between us right now-- the aloneness that many of us feel only feeds more darkness. 

So what can we do to bring Light into darkness? 

We can think of how our own choices affect others-- we can look at a person who is radically different from ourselves and see them as a Beloved Creation of the Creator. Especially, if we disagree with them in any way , we need to see their humanity and hope they see ours. 

 Those of us with privilege can and absolutely SHOULD check our assumptions at the door wen we enter spaces occupied by minority groups. For instance, while I am proud of my Jewish heritage, I am also mindful that I was not raised Jewish.  In The USA, being a Christian of any stripe gives one privilege . Own it. I do. I'm a cis-gendered woman married to a man, so I check my privilege at that door & listen to the needs and fears of people I know and love who are in same-gender relationships & marriages. 

We can do better { all of us} to live more sustainably. We were gifted this great Earth , and the selfishness of humans over time has left her wounded and in pain. We know now that certain practices help to heal our Earth and other well-loved ways further harm our planet. Humans are not alone on the Earth, and we can work to bring Light to other creatures and geologic features of our one home planet. 

Carry that Light. 

Amen. 

~Sarah

   

#PrayingWithFrancis Day 5 Despair & Hope

 

                                       A sunrise on Bayou Texar, near our home in Pensacola. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie . C. 2020 All rights reserved. 

      "... where there is DESPAIR, let me sow HOPE...." 

Y'all, in spite of a glorious kayaking morning on the bayou near our home , I am feeling despair. As much as I try to put all my concerns in the God-box, I feel hope-less. Thanksgiving, our five year anniversary, Advent and Christmastide are coming up soon. Instead of the Thanksgiving gratitude & joyous anticipation  of dvent, I feel nothing but despair. 

To be honest, I've felt this way since last weekend-- when so much of life hand a " normal-ish" ring to it.  Yesterday was awesome at church, Brian and I got to serve as ushers at the later morning service, followed by handing out candy to parish children at the COVID-safe version of Trunk Or Treat. For a short time, life was as close to " normal" as this pandemic will allow. 

 As the pandemic wears on and the election draws closer, I think about all the losses that many of us encountered this year. I also fear for more losses in the future. Relationships with people whom I've loved my entire life are fractured--- and I do not know if I will ever see these dear ones as the people I'd thought  I knew for over four decades. I find myself re-evaluating my relationships with people after I voted my conscious a couple of weeks go. 

 Of course I will continue to love these folx, as Christ teaches us to love, but seeing the pandemic & the election season bring out the worst in people makes me want to step back from some for my own mental health. 

As a Christian with Ashkenazi Jewish DNA, I want to sk there dear ones" 

"Would you hide me and my immediate family if we were in Nazi-run Europe and you had means & space to hide us? Or, would you be a " good German" and turn us in to Hitler's henchmen?"'

I think I know what their answer will be. European Jews, like other minority groups, look at life differently than White, ' christian " 'Mericans. 

I'm in despair because people, including people I love, would sacrifice principles for personalities. 

Daily I use the time I have at home { ya know 'cos PEOPLE STILL WON'T MASK UP" } to search for hope among the despair. I find it in small things, such as a wonderful local support group of which I am a member. Compiled totally of women from all walks of life, we do our best to lift each other up during these dicey , scary times. I know many of them, but some of these women I know only through the Internet. COVID has taken away our monthly card games, but we send memes back and forth, and encourage each other during bad days. These gals have my back { and I have theirs}

 It isn't healthy for me to wallow in despair over other people's choices. I know that I--- and people I DO know --- are doing our best to make the USA more just for all persons. 

  Daily I waffle between total despair and hopeful anticipation that { most } people are good . 

Amen. 

~Sarah

#PrayingWithFrancis Day 4 Doubt And Faith

Photo of my authentic " Worry Doll" , made in Guatemala She lives on my home altar, and reminds me to put my worries " in a God box" and leave them there. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie. 

" ... where there is DOUBT, let me sow FAITH..."

Today's verse from the St Francis Peace Prayer is about two words that have been wrestling in my mind since this entire clustermug of a year { Deaths in the family, worldwide pandemic, election drama and stress} . How do we Christians maintain our faith in a year that seems to only seek to sow seeds of doubt in all our hearts? 

  The pandemic and the election drama that we see daily surely eats into the hearts of even the strongest souls. Over six months into Pandemic life and almost everyone I speak with is worn out over our one-dimensional " lives".

 At the beginning of this virus overtake, it was suggested that I { by nature a constant worrier} look at this tie of physical separation and isolation as a " deployment".  Well, months after that was suggested to me we still are living lives through or computer screens and other devices. On the rare times Brian and I do see people we love { and trust} in a social setting, masks are worn and touching is prohibited.  While I am grateful that we are able to worship among our people in the same physical space, the necessary no-touching rule must apply for everyone's safety.  

  I'll be honest, this as been a week full of more doubt than faith for me. The weather hasn't been good for kayaking, the political circus seems to just grow more messy and ugly daily, and people are still getting sick with this virus due to OTHER PEOPLE NOT MASKING.  Doubt creeps in because I realize that I cannot even hug my father  due to the COVID threat while Bubba and Bubbette  on Facebook mock me for " being controlled by a hoax by The Government.".  Doubt creeps in because I, and people I know, love and trust are doing EVERYTHING to slow the spread of the virus & others refuse to follow suit. 

  I've found that the simple practice of being present for Daily Offices on Facebook Live helps calm me nd re-center my soul on God.  Both of our clergy and some lay people have given of themselves twice each weekday to pause and say Daily Offices live on Facebook. As screen-weary s I am, this time gives a rhythm to my day and reminds me of our Creator.  Often, if it has been a bad day, I'll just listen to the familiar words of Evening Prayer being prayed  live by someone I love. Praying these old prayers  reminds me that we are held by a loving Creator Of The Universe.  I'm reminded by these sacred words that God has us all connected--- that the God of Israel who led Moses' out of slavery is the same God Who will release us from the bondages we face. 

  And the people of God said " Amen"

   ~Sarah
 

#PrayingWithFrancis Day 3 Injury & Pardon

Chapel of St Francis. Kanuga Conference Center. Hendersonville, NC. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie 

Today's meditation is on the words: 

      "... where there is INJURY, let there be PARDON..."

These words take me back to the Scripture lesson from a few weeks ago, when Jesus tells us that we must forgive someone who has hurt us 70 times 7.  This parable, found in the Gospel of Matthew, is a reminder to us how essential forgiveness is: both for the health of our souls  ** and** for our emotional health. 

   As a person who was severely bullied in school { by girls--- boys just ignored me}, I have experience with forgiveness. It is damn hard.  After all, certain students in my middle and high school years made  the tsk of waking us & attending school each day a huge effort.  Bullying did not affect me just once or twice, it was a daily injury to my mind and soul. 

   I remember one girl, with whom I'd grown up, who was what kids today call a " frememy". She was really popular and also was a school athlete with me. Additionally, our mothers { who were also neighbors, she lived down the lane from me} were also friendly.  I never knew on a daily basis where I stood wit this girl--- was I accepted as an equal member of the High School Athlete Caste or will she lead others in humiliating " shy little Sarah"? 

  This girl made practices & away games/meets miserable. To be honest, I am grateful for the Walkman music player that I carried with me in my sports bag ; slipping on the headphones became my escape during long track meets and bus trips to other schools. 

  It took me over 20 years , but I finally DID forgive this person for her behavior towards an adolescent Sarah. I harbor no hatred towards this person, or any of the other students who tormented me in high school. 

   To pardon injuries that others-- ESPECIALLY other Christians-- is essential to our spiritual walk. Perhaps Jesus tells Peter { and us} that forgiveness is an ongoing process... that it is okay to be wary of those who hurt us. Pardoning someone's offenses does not require granting access into your life again.  God granted us with discernment--- and while reconciliation is ideal--- sometimes it is better to love a pardoned one from afar.  Each case is separate. 

Forgive. 

Amen. 

 Sarah

 

#PrayingWithFrancis : Masking: Sowing LOVE in this Hate-Filled Environment

Me at a shop in downtown Asheville, NC , wearing my mask. NC has some strict masking and distancing policies. Photo by Brian. 

              "...Where there is hatred, let me sow love..."

 Seven months into this world wide pandemic, and there are people who still refuse to cover their faces in public. I do not understand their resistance. After all, wearing a cloth face mask is the easiest and safest way that we can enjoy some semblance of " normal" right now.  

   For instance, Brian and I vacationed in Wester North Carolina last month. Per the state's mandates, masking was practiced { pretty much} universally . As a result of people practicing safety, Brian and I felt a level of freedom that we do not experience i our home state of Florida.  

   Honestly, I feel that people should WILLINGLY wear masks in public, but sadly our warped sense of " freedom" is causing this pandemic to linger. 

    Loving each other-- as GOD loves people--requires sacrifice. Wearing a simple paper or cloth face covering is an act of love. Many people I know DO willingly practice masking, but others still are not willing to practice radical love in a simple way by masking. 

   Caring for others by wearing a mask should not be a political talking point.  Sadly, the simple loving act of covering one's face in public is too much to ask of some people. I don't know who raised Unmaskers, but my parents raised my brother and me to put others' needs before our own desires.  As a result-- we don't NEED a government entity to tell us how to love others. We mask because we love enough to do our part to protect ourselves and others from catching a potentially deadly virus. 

    Sow LOVE in this time of mistrust & hatred. Wear a mask. 

    Amen. 

    ~Sarah

 

#PrayingWithFrancis Instruments of Peace--- Even Now!

      The creation I made while " working" with this week's _Godly Play_ story materials.  God loves People, so we should love people as God loves ALL of us. Perhaps that is what " peacemaking" really is: intentional space-creating to actively listen to those who are different from us. Photo By The Pensacola Hippie. 

                This week, I told the _Godly Play_ story of The Ten Best Ways-- which is based upon the story of Moses climbing Mount Sinai to bring God's Ten Commandments to God's people. As I looked at the words of the St Francis Peace Prayer that are assigned for today, my mind went back to this week's _Godly Play_ materials. 

            God , Make me and Instrument of Your Peace...  

   What is " Peace"? It is a word that many of us toss round, but what does it mean for we humans to act as " instruments of God's Peace"?  I wonder, what does it mean to be instruments of peace, a peace that so often is way beyond the human understanding? 

    In these divisive times, perhaps a simple practice of being instruments of peace involves seeing others with different views as Beloved creations of God.  God wants us to love people, and in order to love them, we must first recognize their Belovedness by Creator God. 

   In these divisive times, and in the middle of an ugly election cycle, it is too easy to write off those whose political views are different from my own. I daily remind myself that the family members who are not voting as I did are still beloved by God and by me.  In order to see the Beloved in others with radically different views: we must first see the good in them.  It can get so easy-- especially now-- to let politics come between friends and family. After all they probably are puzzled by the way I vote as I am puzzled by their choices. 

    Acting as a bringer of God's peace to people in my life with wildly different ideas on politics includes not shaming them for their choices.  Being an agent of God's peace means to not return political fire with more political fire  Now please don't misunderstand me, not returning the name calling we might receive  from people who do not vote as we do is an act of STRENGTH.   It takes strength & courage to reply to someone's political heckling with something such as: 

     "I hear you. Please know that I love you, and to keep our relationship intact, I will not discuss politics with you. You are entitled to your views, and I have my own views. That's all. " 

   Acknowledge them , but tell them that you value your relationship too much to get dragged into the political mud pit. 

    Love God first. Then, love God's people.  Love  them enough to work towards maintaining peace in a world that seems to strip away all of our peace. Be firm in your resolve to not let partisan politics destroy YOUR peace. 

In the Name of the Holy Three...

~Sarah 

Enough of being the " silent little woman" I'm speaking

                                               Undated childhood photo of me. Circa 1980 -ish? 

    Honestly, I've tried to " be good", and act with love towards a sociopolitical situation that  turned against everything in which I've been brought up to believe. 

   As someone born in the mid-1970s, i grew up knowing that my rights as a teen [to play varsity sports in high school} and as an adult woman { agency over my own reproductive life and the rights to open a bank account, vote , and get a job without the need of a husband. 

    Growing up in Appalachia -- my younger brother and I were the only Jewish { and by Jewish we are half Ashkenazi on Mom's side of the family}---- Neither one of us " looks Jewish" { whatever the hell that means....} , but we did not fit into the Catholic or Presbyterian Christian culture that many of our classmates so easily found community. Our parents raised us with the Golden Rule, which is found in the Hebrew Scriptures.  For our childhood, this simple Rule of Life guided our choices. 

    The Golden Rule, which is found across cultural, religious and language  barriers states simply { I'll use the Gospel version since I am a Christian, but there are other versions of this same Rule. 

          “...do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Matt. 7:12)

               Be nice. Treat others as you want others to treat you. Be generous. Share. It is better to give to others than to receive  from others.  Love between two adult persons is beautiful. Skin colors come in many shades, and all are beautiful. Each person has a right to their body's agency. 

               Over the past few months & years, I've seen every decent tenant with which my parents raised me challenged openly by groups of White Straight, Rich "Christian" People. Frankly, I am sick and tired of this bullshit that entitled people continually pass off as " American Values." 

         Y'all, I'm scared. 

     I'm scared that my rights as a womb-bearing person will be stripped away. 

     Thinking about my beautiful niece and nephew learning to fear the police saddens me. 

      Looking at every same-gender couple in my life and realizing that my marriage { I am a woman married to a man} will remain protected while theirs will once again face a possibility of inequality angers me. 

     People only seeing me as a shy little woman, and greatly underestimating my abilities frustrates me. In spite of my perceived meekness, I won't back down from confrontation . Furthermore, I've been blessed with coaching by people in my life with more wisdom in their small toe than many of us will every have-- and I've grown exponentially thanks to them. 

  I'm speaking because these issues are not mere political talking points. I matter. My LGBTQ loved . ones matter. My Black & Brown friends matter.

  In these three years, I've been given opportunities to show by my actions whose proverbial face is on the proverbial coin. 

  I know who I am and Who I follow. My only regret is that it has taken until now-- seven months into  pandemic--- for me to find my voice. 

  My voice shakes. But I'll speak. 

   Will you? 

  Amen. 

 ~Sarah

 

St Teresa Of Avila's Words and Being Elphaba

                                         My sweet soul-sister, Ariana, created this Bitmoji for me. Yesterday surely was a " facepalm" day. 

         Yesterday was the feast day of St Teresa of Avila, Nun and one of the few women who earned the title " Doctor of the Church,  In honor of this saint's feast day, my priest read the following quote by St Teresa of Avila during Evening Prayer yesterday afternoon. 

   "Let nothing disturb you; nothing dismay you. All things are passing. God never changes. Patient endurance attains all things... God alone suffices. " ~St Teresa of Avila.

Yesterday was a day full of " facepalm" moments.All day, one facepalm after another. It sucked.

While I 'd prefer to not get into detail on my reasons , suffice it to say that yesterday was a day when I totally identified with the character of Elphaba in the novel and musical WICKED. For those who might not know the premise of these similar , but separate tales, it is the story of the woman who eventually became knowns as The Wicked Witch of the West" in L Frank Baum's classic The Wizard of Oz.

Elphaba, a young woman born in the fictional Land of Oz, is brilliant. She probably qualified for the Gifted and Talented program at her school and took all Advanced Placement classes in high school. Sadly, all people notice when they see her is her green skin, a condition with which she was born.

Ehphaba has green skin. She's also smart { and especially gifted in Magic} and has a heart for justice & equality.

But it doesn't matter: all people see is her " verdigris". As one of the songs from the musical says:

"Once I’m with the Wizard, my whole life will change, ‘cause once you’re with the Wizard, no one thinks you’re strange! No father is not proud of you, no sister acts ashamed! And all of Oz has to love you, and by the Wizard you’re acclaimed. And this gift or this curse I have inside, maybe at last I’ll know why, as we work hand in hand, the Wizard and I....

And one day He’ll say to me, “Elphaba, girl who is so superior, shouldn’t a girl who’s so good inside, have a matching exterior? And since folks here to an absurd degree, seem fixated on your verdigiris, would it be alright by you, if I degreenify you?” And though of course that’s not important to me, “All right, why not?” I’ll reply!"    ~Elphaba _WICKED: The Musical

  She has green skin. My reply would be : So what? She's also the top student in her college class and is interested in liberty and justice for all Ozians. 

   But all people see when the look at her is her unusual skin hue. 

   I might not have green skin, but due to my rather introverted personality, I feel like I am invisible.  And during these scary and uncertain times, I feel even more " green". I care way too much, and every day I remind myself of my priest's advice to " not borrow trouble." 

   Intellectually, I know that St Teresa is correct: that " all things are passing" but I feel trapped and invisible with a huge desire to help make the world a better place. To be honest, I sometimes struggle with my sense of self: not being content with whom God created me to be. I wish I cared less about the world and people  in general. I'm learning , like Elphaba, that my big heart is both a great asset and a liability. 

  It hurts to care so much. But I am learning to live into my own unique set of gifts, and settle in the knowledge that God-- and others whom I love and respect--- see beyond my greenness.  On days , such as yesterday, when I feel raw and " green", St Teresa of Avila's words comfort me & remind me that I am whom God wants me--- that I need not ask to be " de-greenified". All things are passing, and therefore I will remember God's delight in me. 

Amen. 

~Sarah McCarren

16 October 2020

Aides to Prayer

                                              Bayou Sunrise. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie

One of the reasons why kayaking is so cathartic for me is that I feel so much more " alive" while gliding on the water than I do at home, living this Pandemic Life and keeping my thoughts from falling down rabbit holes of depression.  On the water it is easy to temporarily forget what a cruel mess of a world we are in right now.  In addition to the seemingly endless pandemic that keeps people physically apart, we have the ugliest sociopolitical fights being fought in the nations' capital, our state and even our own city. 

For my own mental health, I limit my exposure to " news" media-- Brian and I have not watched a full newscast in months due to the triple whammy of a horribly heated political scene , storms and fires everywhere & of course this pandemic. 

Honestly, these past few months are affecting even some of the strongest individuals I know.  No one could have known how long this pandemic would continue, nor how truly disgusting { on both sides} this political season would become. 

 Both sides have not displayed America at her best self. Even locally, there have been ugly barbs thrown among and between people vying for local elected positions. 

I pray, then I act. 

Last week Brian and I turned in our ballots to the County Supervisor Of Elections, marking our ballots as the Spirit led us. We made sure { to the best of our ability} that our voices will be heard. 

Lately I've been using some additional items for my prayer time at home. When we were in Western North Carolina, I bought both a Mayan " Worry Doll" and a Cherokee prayer bowl. Now before anyone { however well- intentioned} accuses me of " cultural appropriation" please know that I have nothing but awe and respect for the traditions of our First Nations neighbors.  

                                        My Worry Doll, "Susana" has earned some overtime since she came home  to live with Brian and me. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie. 

Since I spent some time as a child in the highlands of Western North Carolina, I am especially fond of the spirituality of the Cherokee people. At this same shop, I purchased a Cherokee Prayer Bowl , thrown by a Cherokee artisan. 

       

My Prayer Bowl, elevated on a piece of Northwest Florida cedarwood, holding all my intentions in the form of sacred herbs. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie. 

I'm grateful that , in these scary and divisive times, that my home altar is a sanctuary for me that is represented by items from other cultures-- items that is use as they are intended for use. God The Creator of the Universe , in spire of what some Christian preachers tell their people, is big enough for all. 

Amen! 

Sarah McCarren

14 October 2020

Contemplation "On the Bayou"

    The view from our truck as Brian and I arrived at the bayou for a kayaking trip. The loss of the Three-Mine Bridge has caused us to find alternate kayaking spots. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie. 

 For the first time in weeks, I took my kayak, " good Trouble" out on the water. Since the storm has damaged the big bridge that connects Pensacola { where we live} to Gulf Breeze { Where we like to kayak} , we've been forced to seek other launching spots. Several people we know recommended Bayview Park , located not far from our house in town. The City park has , among other amenities, a boat ramp that is perfect for kayaks and paddleboards. 

  It was wonderful to get back on the water . I had not taken " Good Trouble" out since before the storm. We were away the week following ' Sally' and since we returned, the weather has not cooperated with my desire to kayak.  I am grateful for today's fairly clear schedule and favorable conditions for me to feel close to Creator God while gliding in a safe , protected body of salt water. 

Sun was up by the time we got there, but I did capture this shot of the sun reflecting on the calm, clear water. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie. 

It is inexplicable how peace-full I feel when I am on the water. Kayaking is a solo sport, and I'm adept enough to really get into a groove where I can almost paddle  on autopilot. Of course one part of my brain is on deck for safety duty, but the majority of my brain relaxes enough so I can really enter a state of contemplation.  I've discovered that " contemplative prayer" only works for me if I am able to do some sort of movement: traditional contemplative prayer just makes my brain itch. My morning walks are the usual time that I find I can just " be" with Nature and its Creator. 

 

The breathing that I learned in yoga has helped me center my mind, body and spirit when I am on the water. As I paddle , I let my gaze wander where the Spirit leads me, and I've seen some incredible sights on the water when I'm relaxed enough to be fully present  with Nature. 

  A log that I saw on the opposite side of  the bayou from where I launched  Photo by The Pensacola Hippie. 

   As a total INFJ on the Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory, I love being with people. Yet at the same time, too much socializing tends to drain my physical and spiritual energy. I love team sports, but I've discovered that I'm drawn to solo sports such as kayaking as I get further into middle age. Kayaking allows me for time with myself, Creator God, and some of God's non-human creatures. This morning, I witnessed mullet jumping, butterflies { two different varieties} and some pelicans. 

  It was good for my soul. In a year that has taken away so much from all of us, I am grateful for the simple pleasures that life offers. 

  Amen. 

  Sarah McCarren

  13 Oct 2020. 

Courage to Be You in Storms of #Year2020

 

                                                              Quote by poet ee cummings

If there is one thing that I'm learning as Year 2020 remains to be the hideous year that it has been for most people, it is that I'm becoming who God intends for me to become. 

   We are facing a global Pandemic, two deaths in my family, a seriously ill Grandmother in Pennsylvania, storm threats, followed by an actual storm {for which no one in Pensacola was prepared}and the ugliest political season of my lifetime. 

  Honestly, on some days I wonder why I get out of bed and interact { online} with people.  This political season has caused me to defend all the values with which my Church and my family-of-origin installed in me.  I find myself defending the basic lessons that Jesus teaches in the Gospels to other people who ** also** claim to follow the Way of Love.  I'm discovering traits of beloved friends & family members tat grate against everything I stand for: and finding myself again and again on the defense. 

   Somehow, my faith calls me to interact with these people in LOVE.  the last thing I want to do is cause rifts in my extended family over political disagreements , but I'm continually shaking my head sadly and love them from afar as they { either knowingly or unknowingly} support and perpetuate a mindset that is antithetical to everything  OUR LORD Jesus teaches. 

  I've learned that any negative reactions I may show does me no good. Fighting verbal fire with more verbal fire { nd a a writer I am pretty good with words!} might temporarily ease my raw nerves, but does nothing to heal my soul. 

  Year 2020 has shown me that I'm much tougher , both mentally & spiritually, than I'd assumed. This year has also shown me { but necessity} that speaking up for my values--- followed by actions that reflect said values is the best way to witness to people with whom I vehemently disagree. 

  I'm becoming the full version of myself.  I'm learning to love myself, in all my imperfections, because God first loved me. I'm finding , and cultivating relationships with people with the same vision of shalom that I see. 

  I am understanding that carrying Christ's Light into a world that seems { at least for now} to remain content in wallowing in darkness is a thankless task. But it is my work--- and I am not alone in feeling called to justice work. 

  We are better together. Be YOU. Find others like you and me. Speak out in LOVE. Pray, then act. People like you and me are needed. Let your voice be heard. Show up. 

 

   Shalom,

   Sarah McCarren

   10 Oct 2020.

Responding with our " Larger Selves"

  Facebook profile photo of me { taken by Brian} with a decorative frame with the now-famous Kamala Harris quote " I'm Speaking"

There is no doubt in my mind that we are living in divisive times. There are three weeks left until Election Day, and for those of us who are empathic, we can literally FEEL the tension when we are out in public. Oddly enough, one of the surprise blessings of Pandemic Life is that everyone is forced to totally isolate or select people with whom to socialize very mindfully. 

 Yesterday, during Evening Prayer via Facebook Live, my priest prayed these simple words. She prayed: "LORD, help us to go to our larger selves and not our smaller selves. ~" RevCol"

Never in my lifetime has this prayer been needed. As followers of Christ, we are called to be people of action. We have a responsibility to follow Jesus' footsteps and tend to the needs of the poor, marginalized , lonely, and disenfranchised. We are called to be agents of change and to find  ourselves making  #GoodTrouble. 

  However, I confess that I often find myself wanting desperately to stoop to a lower level of human thought by " returning evil for evil". This political season has seen the worst of people from all along the spectrum of thought, and I confess that I occasionally let my fondness for snark get the better of me. 

I am human. I can and will make mistakes. That is why I found the prayer " .... help us to go to our larger selves...." so relatable to where I sit at this point in Year 2020. It requires absolutely no effort on the part of a thinking human to draw from our lower, more primitive self.  Animals such as snakes and alligators have the same basic ' flight or fight' reaction wired into their brains as do humans. Yet we were created for something better-- bigger, than reptiles and our Creator gifted us with the soul and intellect to live together as one people. 

  As Christians, we are called to do prophetic work. But in order to be effective prophets, we must be mindful of our own words and actions. Additionally, I've discovered that effectively responding to others' negativity requires intention. 

Creator of the Universe, help us all live into our larger selves. 

Amen. 

~Sarah McCarren

9 October 2020

Hey Female-Identifying People:Speak, it is Your Right & Responsibility.

 We may be masked for safety, but we ARE NOT SILENT.  This fine priest helped me heal after some crappy experiences with men who " mansplain" and liked to talk over women. She started with me on the journey of finding  my voice & now #IMSPEAKING . This woman was my priest for only one year--- but in that year helped me heal enough to begin becoming Sarah.  Photo by Brian. 

The spouse and I watched the Vice-Presidential debate. To be honest, it was pretty much a shit show. However, my one big take-away from watching Kamala Harris, a Black woman, stand up for herself against Establishment White Man. 

  She said: I'm speaking."

  I'm Speaking. These two little words were balm to the wounded souls of every woman who was ever called " bossy" , or " rude" for speaking up and acting out against patriarchy. 

  Men, especially White , straight & so-called " christian { small c is intentional} men still control much of society. While it is true that the women on whose shoulders Kamala Harris, myself & any other feminist alive now benefit from the work others completed, we've much more to do. 

  Last night we saw a White ' christian" man of a certain age attempt to speak over and totally dismiss the words of a younger Black woman. While my white skin allows me more privilege than someone with Kamala Harris' skin hue, I could not help but feel some solidarity with her  as this loud, rude, petulant White man attempted to control all of the discussion. 

  I've been there. Any female-identifying person with vision, intelligence, drive or talent in a male-dominated sector of society has stood where Senator Harris stood last night.  

Regardless of our talents , accomplishments and/or qualifications, in spaces that have been set aside  as " male dominated"  we have been silenced. The silencing of which I speak can come in many covert & overt forms.  Gaslighting and " mansplaining: two tactics that were used against Senator Harris last night, are two common forms of covertly silencing women. I've been the victim of such behavior both in the classroom and in a work-related situation. 

 It sucks. 

  Frankly, I do not understand why some { not all--- not by a long shot} White, " christian' straight men are afraid of an assertive woman.  I do not fear assertive men-- its the aggressive , insecure men with whom I struggle. 

 I am NOT saying  all men are swine, either. As a matter of fact, I'm married to a wonderful man. 

                               Wedding photo of Brian and me. Photo by Ann Woll. 

Thank you, Senator Harris, for showing girls & women everywhere that it is totally acceptable to stand up to a man who is trying to dominate the conversation. It tugs at my soul that humans apparently have not quite evolved enough to know that female people are { at least} one half of the world's population and therefore deserve equal representation in all places where power is wielded. 

 Pop star Taylor Swift sums up the feelings of every " angry woman " or " bossy little girl" in the lyrics to her song _The Man_ 

"They'd say I hustled

Put in the work
They wouldn't shake their heads
And question how much of this I deserve
What I was wearing, if I was rude
Could all be separated from my good ideas and power moves
And they would toast to me, oh, let the players play
I'd be just like Leo, in Saint-Tropez

I'm so sick of running
As fast as I can
Wondering if I'd get there quicker
If I was a man
And I'm so sick of them
Coming at me again
'Cause if I was a man
Then I'd be the man"

Anyone else see herself in these lyrics? I sure do! I wasn't raised to be a " little lady" , as was raised to compete alongside the boys. As I've encountered patriarchy, and especially women who perpetuate it-- I find myself that oddball " mouthy woman". 

  I've found my voice, and I'll continue to use it to work for justice for ALL people. 

 Senator Harris--- THANK YOU! 

~Sarah McCarren

Worry Doll & " Not Borrowing Trouble"

 

Authentic Guatemalan " worry doll" that I picked up at a shop in Hendersonville, NC that specialized in authentic handmade things by Native American people. I call her " Susanna", which means " lily" in Hebrew. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie. 

 Year 2020 has been a total shitshow for most of us. Fires out West, a worldwide pandemic, and here in the Gulf South, one big storm and another one in the Gulf as I write. This storm, " Delta" is not ' supposed' to hit us directly in Pensacola, but as " Sally" taught everyone : BE PREPARED AS IF THE STORM WILL HIT. 

   Brian and I are join just that: we are stocked u on all the essentials. Our extra gas cans are full of gasoline for our generator, should the storm hit and leave us without electricity for a few days. Our phones will be kept charged to full capacity, and thanks to the power strip, we will be able to keep the phones charged. 

 We will prepare, but we will NOT waste any precious time or energy " borrowing trouble".  We know that " Sally" was a freak of a storm, so we prepare but do not go one panic-driven buying sprees. Brian and I have what we need, but we are nor hoarders nor preppers. 

  To be honest, storms scare me.  But, I've learned a lot during this forced alternate reality that is Pandemic Life. 

For instance, I've learned to assume COVID is everywhere. Whenever Brian and I go anywhere in public, we always return to the truck , take off our masks, and wipe off our hands. Furthermore, we sanitize the used mask with an alcohol wipe, killing any germs that might have been stuck there. We also stay far away from unmasked people-- and here in The Redneck Riviera there are still some hold-outs who absolutely refuse to mask. 

 In order to keep my mental space clean I've been very intentional about what type and how much news I consume. This includes 'snoozing for 30 days' Facebook folx whom I love because every update I see wants to trigger my anxiety. I love y'all, but storm talk doesn't do me any good. { see ya AFTER storm season! } Additionally, I finally gave up on keeping a Twitter account--- as it was nothing but unfiltered opinions from mostly unreliable sources. I've been tempted during this pandemic & ugly election season  , to rid myself of Facebook, but I've discovered that the benefits out-weigh the annoyances. { Thank God for Unfollow and Snooze For 30 Days }

  Being prepared and taking safety measures to stay healthy is not panic.  Nor is being smart to keep yourself & others safe' living in fear'. Preparation & safe practices keeps both ourselves and our community safer. 

Amen. 

~Sarah McCarren

 

Instruments of Peace In Times of Division

 In honor of St Francis of Assisi, here is a photo of our dog, Prince Harry of Pensacola. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie. 

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace; 
Where there is hatred, let me sow love; 
Where there is injury, pardon; 
Where there is doubt, faith; 
Where there is despair, hope; 
Where there is darkness, light; 
And where there is sadness, joy. 

O Divine Master,
Grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console; 
To be understood, as to understand; 
To be loved, as to love; 
For it is in giving that we receive, 
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned, 
And it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life. 
Amen.

~ Prayer attributed to St Francis of Assisi.

No one really knows who penned this prayer. But Christians everywhere agree that it is one of the most-loved and most-recited prayers. On the feast day of St Francis of Assisi, I think it is timely to post the prayer-- along with some thoughts on how the prayer can guide our lives during these strange times. 

This weekend we heard news that our President has contacted COVID19, along with his wife and many staffers. We need to pray for him, just as we pray for all victims of this pandemic.  

For some of us, this is a difficult task. For almost four years, many of us have watched this individual attempt to tear down everything we hold sacred as free people. While some Americans still believe that this person is a good man and a faithful leader-- a growing number of us are seeing his actions as motivated by something other than love for people. 

I admit it, I don't like him-- from his days as a reality show boss I remember nothing but cruelty and filth spilling from his lips. 

After months of pooh-poohing the reality of this pandemic, we see that this President is ill with COVID. As Christ-followers, what is the appropriate response to this news? 

Simple, we are to pray for him. 

Prayer is not a " stamp of approval", as a former priest of mine stated on the Sunday immediately following the 2016 election. We pray for the leaders of our nation-- regardless of political differences. We don't swear loyalty to a party-- as Christians we swear loyalty to God--- Earth Maker, Pain-Bearer and Life Sustainer. Christians are called to pray for the world and its leaders. 

Paul's letter to the Romans , Chapter 12 has some sound advice that modern disciples , like me, can find helpful. After all, political strife is not a 21st-century problem.  Let's look at what St Paul has t say: 

" Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. 10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. 11 Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit,[g] serve the Lord. 12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. 13 Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly.[h] Never be wise in your own sight. 17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it[i] to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

Whoa, that is a high order for us. " Bless those who persecute you... live in harmony with one another... repay no one evil for evil.  

This list, titled in some translations of Scripture as " Marks of a True Christian.  God is NOT partisan. God is God regardless of a person's thoughts, words , or even actions. We cannot control others' behavior, but we Christ-followers can choose to respond { not react} in LOVE. 

As a child and teen, I was bullied incessantly. One girl, lets call her Matilda" was especially cruel to me in middle and high school. I tried to stay out of her line of fire, but she still used the power of gossip to hurt me.  Years later, I find out that this person's life { due to some choices she made} has not been easy. I forgave her, and I pray for her, regardless of her actions towards me. Have I let her back into my life. Oh hell no--- I am not stupid! But I pray for her to continue to stay well.  I still don't like this person, but he is deserving of God's grace. 

As a friend says  : acting in Christian love towards people does not always mean feel " warm and fuzzy" towards them. Praying for someone's health is not nodding in agreement with their behavior. 

I cannot pretend to like this President-- even if he does have COVID.  To me, his illness is no excuse to excuse his behavior towards Black and Brown people , women, LGBTQ persons and others.  However, in our Church Rites, there are places built for intercessory prayer.  I don't like this President, but I love my siblings-in-humanity.  Every weekday during Evening prayer { online} people sick with COVID and those who have died from it are mentioned in prayer. 

Prayer is not the sole property of any nation, race , orientation OR political ideology 

We pray. And let God sort out the mess. 

Amen. 

Sarah McCarren

Feast Of St Francis of Assisi 2020