I Never Wanted to be " A Prophet" .

Artist's depiction of Tymar Crawford, a young Black man who was killed by police violence here in Pensacola.  Photo by The Pensacola Hippie. 

I love my city... but I am learning that she is filled with unwritten " rules" and expectations. And honestly, for an outspoken wordsmith  with no patience for blarney--- it is hard for me to remain " polite" when it comes to discussing matters of justice. I'm beginning to now finally see what my priest saw in me when she told me I'm to serve on our parish's JUST Pensacola team. 

As much as I initially balked at the idea of getting in conversation with so many strangers, I m grateful that I've spent time with some of my city's leaders in the Black community-- chances to really LISTEN to what their biggest concerns re in our city & county. 

I never pictured myself as a revolutionary or  " prophet". But as an outsider to both Pensacola & Northwest Florida-- I am learning some valuable lessons that leave me feeing uncomfortable. 

How are we, as JUST Pensacola, supposed to hold elected & appointed officials accountable if we are denied access to their offices. Since it is considered " uncouth { a word my Mom uses to mean in poor taste} t openly criticize officials who do hold power to make changes that benefit everybody on social media & other platforms, what else can I say? 

More importantly what can I { and others} do to make Pensacola and Escambia County, Florida more just for all her citizens. 

This morning Brian and I made a quick stop to the 17th Street Trestle, where some new  Black Lives Matter murals have shown up. One is of Tymar Crawford, a young Black man killed by unnecessary police brutality last year.Like George Floyd, Tymar's life was cut short  and he never got a day in court to prove his innocence or to be found guilty.  

I did not speak out when Tymar died at the hands of city cops because I did not want to " make waves". To Tymar's family, I apologize. Without realizing it, I have bought into the stereotype of the  nice girl { woman, actually-- I'm 44 years old} who doesn't stir up trouble. 

But , as friends say, there is a time and place to stir up " good trouble. " 

I've marched peacefully on the state Capitol twice. Some of the crowd's demands on bot instances were met by  reluctant Governor and Florida House. Actions were taken based on those protests. 

I'm learning the ropes of Pensacola politics & it is hard. Minding my words is hard-- because I'd played the silent White woman for so long. I'm still trying to find my voice here, and it is a damn hard task. 

I never wanted to be a prophet--- and the next time I see my bishop I will inform him of my distaste at all this work I am called to do. I will mind my words , but I will not keep silent. 

Sarah 

Feast Of St Columba 2020