This INFJ and " Chatting"

Bitmoji of me . Created by BFF Ariana. 

I've learned during this pandemic that, as much as I need to be with and love people, I am still a true introvert. " Chatting" always has, and still makes me feel awkward. While I can talk with someone about the issues surrounding our world, and what we can do to fix it { For example, how  can we be totally anti-racist when some White people still refuse to see the systemic racism that has been the backbone of this nation since its inception. }

Anyway, back to introversion. My husband can" chat" with anyone.  Not so with me. When I first meet someone, I observe them quietly from a distance.Some people who meet me for the first time had the impression that I am " snobby" or " standoffish." I realize that I'm perceived as being such, but it is really me being protective of myself.  While I want to believe everyone has good intentions, I've been hurt before by ignoring the strong intuition in favor of " being polite".  Usually I can tell a person's intentions after spending a few hours with them { only making small talk when absolutely necessary since I suck at it} 

One of the reasons why I love parish & women's retreats is that there is time for me to get to observe and slowly interact with people whom I don't know-- a task that I find impossible during cocktail parties. 

I met one of my best friends when she and I were stuck doing kitchen duty on a day-long work trip to Panama City, FL after the big storm. Both she and I cannot do heavy labor  so we were tasked with how to safely feed all the volunteers plus some parishioners a good lunch in a kitchen that { at the time right after the storm} lacked electricity and running water.  During that day, she and I talked about Pittsburgh, the beaches in Northwest Florida, essential oils. I had actually started the conversation with " so How is Pittsburgh Guy" , knowing that her significant other lives in Pittsburgh & that she's been to my home city. 

Introverts, especially those of us who really do like people, just socialize differently than extroverts. We prioritize quality of a conversation over quantity { or length} of a conversation. 

Over the years { and with a lot of therapy} I've become more comfortable with " small talk".  Tank God for growth--- I'm introverted but NOT shy. 

Peace

~Sarah