Thank you City Council #FloridaBeCrazy

The Pensacola Hippie, masked for YOUR safety, at the beach. Photo by Brian. 

Starting THIS HOUR, all people who are in public venues within the City Limits of Pensacola MUST wear masks.  

I am DELIGHTED that the local authorities are finally showing some chutzpah and making sound choices for City residents & other who refuse to govern themselves and wear the masks! 

yesterday, I wanted to hide my head in the sand when the cameras caught some irate { and possibly mentally-ill Unmaskers yell at the County Commissioners regarding wearing masks.  One woman actually said that she won't wear masks  for the same reason why she won't wear underwear because 'Things gotta breathe..." 

Ummm, that is way too much information to disclose. I'm grateful that I'd seen that when I was not eating anything..... that visual is just gross. 

 

You out-of-state readers will ask " Are these people for real, or are they just figments of Sarah's wild imagination?"

Sadly even I cannot make up some of what occurs in my state of Florida. These people-- including Ms Cool Pants, are real. Furthermore, they have the right to vote in Florida.  While I am a big supporter of the right to free speech I often wonder at the sanity of the sort of people who come to public meetings{ which are always recorded} who are willing to say anything to protect their so-called " freedoms". 

 For instance, Ms Cool Pants ' weird choice to go commando each day is a choice that { hopefully} only affects her. No one else's rights are being violated by her choice to do without panties.  But her " freedom" to go mask less infringes on the rights of people to be healthy. Regardless of what the conspiracy theorists say, COVID19 is real. 

But in Florida, people will fight tooth-and-nail before donning a simple cotton face covering. 

Bitmoji face palm. Created for me by Ariana. 

One of the others who testified against mandatory mask  wearing in Palm Beach County kept pointing at an American flag, saying again & again " See that flag. I'd DIE for that flag? Would you die for that flag? "

Oy vey. 

Firstly, the open hearing had nothing to do with the American flag.  I fail to see any connection between this guy's flag devotion & wearing a cloth face mask. heck-- I am sure he could buy a flag-patterned face mask { which by the way, totally violates the Flag Code but " Patriots" such as this guy don't know or don't care... after all, they have " freedoms" that they need to protect. 

Dude, wrap the Flag around your face if that's what you feel you should do. I don't care--- just cover your face in public. 

Anyhow, I am glad that my City's mayor & Council are taking steps to keep us safe { at least within Pensacola's city limits} but I really did not need the added stress of hearing what the local ' Freedom Fighters' said about this rule. Interestingly enough, my Facebook feed has been quiet from the few local ' Freedom Fighters' I keep around. 

Hmmmm.  Anyone there? ** crickets**

Florida is crazy, y'all. 

I am not a fan of Big Government at all. But when people  refuse to keep others { and themselves safe during a pandemic, I am in full support of involvement by the local authorities. I've given up { some willingly-- others not so willingly} certain things in order to keep myself & those I love safe . 

~ I no longer go to my gym. 

~Brian trims my hair

~My annual trip-- for the second consecutive year-- was cancelled. I cannot and will not chance making others sick by getting in one of those flying petri dishes we call airplanes. The choice was mine. 

~ Online church This is one with which  I admit I struggle, because worship to me is bout getting together with loved ones for prayer and Communion. It is seeing twinkling eyes of others in my spiritual community who have also been masking . It is participating in Communion fully {in one kind-- bread only} and looking into the eyes of my priest as she distributes the elements using the new protocol.  Some parts of worship just cannot  be duplicated in two dimensions. Again, it is because I love my church community that I agree with returning to online-only worship for a couple weeks. 

~Outdoor concerts & singing in public in general. 

Note to self: do not read the comment section of any media outlet concerning this matter. 

Be safe! 

~Sarah

Pandemic Isolation+ Rain All Day= SAD

Sunrise over Weeks Bay at Beckwith. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie

It has been rainy, hot and humid for the last two days. Today we are expecting more of the same. 

As much as I know rain is needed, all day wetness--- especially for more than one day-- REALLY affects my mental and physical health. 

I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder--- dark days mess with my brain chemistry and is a catalyst for a bout with depression. It is hard to even do basic tasks such as fixing my hair. I am not sure of the percentage of people with mental illness find that their symptoms return stronger during dark days, but I know that the amount of daylight/ sunshine is a real factor in my overall mental health

Due to severe scoliosis, my back is full of titanium since I was 12 years of age.  Fronts that bring wet weather affect my back--- and any time I am in pain, my mood further deteriorates.  

One of the reasons I moved to Florida was to enjoy the health benefits of sunshine. Of course I know rain is needed, but it does not make life during a stretch of rainy days easier-- ESPECILLY during a pandemic. I feel really badly for my spouse-- since he is the only person who remains in my immediate orbit all day. 

Isolation+ rain+ dark= one grouchy, depressed Hippie. 

Stay well...

~Sarah

Hey Florida: Wear the **** Masks!

To LOVE is an ACTION verb, and right now , part of loving others is WEARING FACE MASKS IN PUBLIC. 

Y'all, I hate face masks. They fog my glasses if I am not careful, obstruct my sense of smell, and { the worst part for me} makes it hard to recognize the faces of people I love. Smiles say so much, and masks hide smiles. Yet masks also preserve life. 

It angers m to see so many people in Florida practicing their so-called " freedom" by not wearing face masks in public. 

These people either don't believe the fact surrounding this disease or they are so selfish that " Live Free or Die" is a slogan that they misconstrue at the expense of public health. 

I want the Governor of Florida to write an executive order making mask-wearing mandatory in public spaces. Normally I am not a fan of " big government" stepping in, but since Floridians re too concerned with their own  warped ide of " freedom" to think about the people around them calls for such a drastic action. 

Just in my four decades { plus 4 years} of life I've seen  situations where the Supreme Court had to step in because people { mostly White, straight, rich cis-gendered men} don't want to keep up with science and/or don't care to check potential policies against our Constitution

 I am grateful that our nation's framers had the sense to install the three branches of government-- because right now I don't carry much faith that either my state or federal legislative branches will pass laws to ensure public health during this pandemic. 

I hate the mask. But , I wear one every time I leave our home.  Wearing mace masks in public is necessary to keep myself and others safe from this pandemic. Research has shown that mask-wearing significantly cuts down on the spread of COVID19. 

I wear my mask because I love my sister & fellow humans enough to not inadvertently infect someone. As faithfully s I maintain the no touching mandate { and if I love you I'll wanna hug you and it sucks that I CAN'T  yet hug you...} Brian and I keep several cotton face masks with us at all times, in my purse and in our truck. 

We wear masks-- to protect ourselves and others. People whom we know and love are like us in that they do not need the State to tell them to take the right course of action. However, many in Florida are only concerned about their comfort & " freedom". 

Floridians, if you wear masks, thank you for setting that example for our citizens who still don't understand how masks will save lives. .

I'm jumping off of my soap box for now....

~Sarah

This INFJ and " Chatting"

Bitmoji of me . Created by BFF Ariana. 

I've learned during this pandemic that, as much as I need to be with and love people, I am still a true introvert. " Chatting" always has, and still makes me feel awkward. While I can talk with someone about the issues surrounding our world, and what we can do to fix it { For example, how  can we be totally anti-racist when some White people still refuse to see the systemic racism that has been the backbone of this nation since its inception. }

Anyway, back to introversion. My husband can" chat" with anyone.  Not so with me. When I first meet someone, I observe them quietly from a distance.Some people who meet me for the first time had the impression that I am " snobby" or " standoffish." I realize that I'm perceived as being such, but it is really me being protective of myself.  While I want to believe everyone has good intentions, I've been hurt before by ignoring the strong intuition in favor of " being polite".  Usually I can tell a person's intentions after spending a few hours with them { only making small talk when absolutely necessary since I suck at it} 

One of the reasons why I love parish & women's retreats is that there is time for me to get to observe and slowly interact with people whom I don't know-- a task that I find impossible during cocktail parties. 

I met one of my best friends when she and I were stuck doing kitchen duty on a day-long work trip to Panama City, FL after the big storm. Both she and I cannot do heavy labor  so we were tasked with how to safely feed all the volunteers plus some parishioners a good lunch in a kitchen that { at the time right after the storm} lacked electricity and running water.  During that day, she and I talked about Pittsburgh, the beaches in Northwest Florida, essential oils. I had actually started the conversation with " so How is Pittsburgh Guy" , knowing that her significant other lives in Pittsburgh & that she's been to my home city. 

Introverts, especially those of us who really do like people, just socialize differently than extroverts. We prioritize quality of a conversation over quantity { or length} of a conversation. 

Over the years { and with a lot of therapy} I've become more comfortable with " small talk".  Tank God for growth--- I'm introverted but NOT shy. 

Peace

~Sarah

Zoom Weariness: Part Two: Educational Forums

Pre-COVID Life. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie

Y'all I am so darn weary of ZOOM. This evening I've a wonderful educational forum on Pensacola's racism in history that I really want to attend. It is at 7 PM CST, and hopefully will only last an hour.  At 8, I've my usual Compline Zoom group. 

I am so tired of ZOOM and FB live. 

While I do look forward to praying  & checking in with church folx, the last ZOOM educational meeting I attended left me wanting. While the speaker was excellent, , I found the format lacking. For one thing, participants could not see nor interact with each other. The only faces & voices we heard were the moderator { who also did an excellent job} and the guest speaker. I knew several of the participants in the conference & I could not even text them a " hi, how are you?"

This INFJ needs connection with others. 

I was a faceless square among other faceless squares. I felt lonely. 

At our Zoom Compline prayer meetings, we can all see & hear each other-- so that format doesn't feel quite as lonely. I told Brian today that I am craving my pre-Covid Wednesday schedule study, prayer & socializing with church folx. While there is a Bible study on ZOOM that is attended by some people, again, the format leaves me lacking. As someone with a short attention span, I struggle to keep " on -task" during Zoom presentations. 

Until this pandemic, I never realized how much of " feeler " I am--- I like being around people, though my true introversion requires time alone to rest and recharge. I need to see people in three dimensions--- even with physic distancing, mask-wearing & no touching. I feel like this pandemic life is one never-ending sci-fi movie where people slowly forget what its like to BE HUMAN. Maybe ZOOM is a format that works for most personalities, but it only lees me sad. I'm introverted, but I am NOT SHY. Maybe some shy people are fine with living a social life from behind a screen, but I am not. 

I hate it! While I am grateful for technology such as ZOOM, I hate the fact that this pandemic has turned us into creatures who stare at screens all day. 

This pandemic has made life hard for those like me, who LOVE being with our people. No matter what anyone says: ZOOM is but a poor substitute for in-person gatherings. 

Missing you all...

~Sarah

To Be Loved for Whom You Are: A Great Gift

Card sent to me by my childhood BFF. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie

Today I received in the mail a package . It is my birthday/Christmas package from my oldest friend. She and I have known each other for 41 of my 44 years , and although I've not seen her at all  { damn COVID and Cancer} in two years, we are still very close. Other than my spouse, she's probably the person who knows the most about me--- actually since she is my longest friend she does know more about me than Brian knows { What happens at the Lake while off-duty stays at the Lake} 

I'm reminded what a gift true friendship is--- especially  friendship like ours that has spanned our lifetimes. Perhaps such friendships are examples to humanity on how we are all supposed to live. I'm such an oddball in so many ways-- but my friend not only tolerates but celebrates my weirdness. 

She KNOWS that ' purple is my color' and that I love my crazy hound dog. :) She remembers that my favorite food is dark chocolate. 

Likewise I love and cherish her for whom she is--- I wouldn't want her to try to be anyone other than the best version of herself. That, to me is what being " fully human and fully alive means. 

“The glory of God is the human being fully alive.” 
~ St. Irenaeus of Lyon (AD 202)

How can each of us live into our full potential when we are continually put down  or compared to others? How can a person grow if they are never given opportunities to step out of their comfort zones?

I think the word " love" can mean so many different things. There are many types of love between humans, and to have someone love you as God created you is a precious gift. Both my Lifelong bestie and Brian love me unconditionally-- but each relationship is special. Brian-- although is my life partner-- did not grow up with me. My bestie hasn't spent enough time in Northwest Florida to totally understand  Life At Sea Level.  But both these relationships encourage me to be the best version of myself simply by loving me as myself. 

Peace

~Sarah

REMEMBERING : PULSE Orlando Today.

Graphic illustrating that LOVE IS LOVE-- regardless of the genders of the two adult, consenting people in a relationship. 

Today Facebook reminded me that it is the fourth anniversary of the mass murder of 49 LGBTQ+ people at a nightclub in Orlando.  This June, Pride is being observed in different ways due to the threat of COVID19, nd may cities & towns across the United States have either cancelled their public Pride events or postponed the celebration until later . 

In these uneasy times of racial tension brought on by the murder of George Floyd by a cop, it is extra  notable for me to remind myself that the LGBTQ+ community is still marginalized.  Furthermore , if a person is Black and LGBTQ+ , they have a higher risk of becoming a victim of violence. In fact, many of the patrons who died that night at Pulse were either Black or Brown. 

We need to remember the Pulse incident & work to change hearts and minds that are still so vehemently  against the rights of LGBTQ+ persons to live authentic lives. Perhaps today is a day to pause and light a candle for all those LGBTQ+ persons who, like many Black Americans, live in fear. 

If The United States truly is " the land of the free" , as we claim, than no citizen in any state should live in fear. 

Humans come in many skin hues. Love between humans comes in may varieties-- as does gender identity & expression. White, straight, and cis-gender people are not the only valid people.  Humanity, and love between humans, is both valid & beautiful. 

In Remembrance,

~Sarah

I Am So Over Zoom

Me, engaging all five senses at the beach. The COVID19-- even at Phase 1 reopening, still has me longing for normal human interactions.  Photo by The Pensacola Hippie

I have a confession. And in this weird COVID19 world, its a pretty bad one. 

I. Am . So. Much. Over. ZOOM { and Facebook LIVE }

During the lockdown , when digital socializing was all we had, I felt okay with two- dimensional interactions with people I love. Now that Florida is slowly opening up, Brian and I have been venturing out into the wider world. Our parish opened its doors for in person worship { spaced out, so sign up is required} two weeks ago and that filled my soul with joy. Yet today I am sad. It is Wednesday and today I felt bereft of my pre-COVID life--- Bible study & then a supper with my parish family-- followed by some sort of programming.  Our clergy are continuing to offer Dily Offices via Facebook Live & that time is sacred-- yet something is missing. 

Worshipping & socializing on screens is two dimensional -- and humans live life in three dimensions & using five senses-- not just sight and hearing.  Standing in the Gulf today reminded me that staying safe from COVID19 has come at a price....and continues to place limits on we humans. As I felt the cool water lap my ankles and sand spread between my toes I recall with sadness how long it has been since I've hugged anyone but my spouse. 

While I understand the " no touching" necessary mandates for now, I cannot help but wonder if more people are getting comfortable with two-dimensional interactions. It is not for me. 

Although I am an introvert-- COVID19 has taught me-- that spending time with people I love is essential to my well-being. s much as I love Brian--- I need to interact with others in order to feel " fully alive"

Our post-COVD19 world will be different. But my hope is that we , in this time of physical distancing and no touching each other, do not forget that we have five senses with which to experience this great world. 

ZOOM falls short because it only engages sight & sound. 

Namaste,

~Sarah

I Never Wanted to be " A Prophet" .

Artist's depiction of Tymar Crawford, a young Black man who was killed by police violence here in Pensacola.  Photo by The Pensacola Hippie. 

I love my city... but I am learning that she is filled with unwritten " rules" and expectations. And honestly, for an outspoken wordsmith  with no patience for blarney--- it is hard for me to remain " polite" when it comes to discussing matters of justice. I'm beginning to now finally see what my priest saw in me when she told me I'm to serve on our parish's JUST Pensacola team. 

As much as I initially balked at the idea of getting in conversation with so many strangers, I m grateful that I've spent time with some of my city's leaders in the Black community-- chances to really LISTEN to what their biggest concerns re in our city & county. 

I never pictured myself as a revolutionary or  " prophet". But as an outsider to both Pensacola & Northwest Florida-- I am learning some valuable lessons that leave me feeing uncomfortable. 

How are we, as JUST Pensacola, supposed to hold elected & appointed officials accountable if we are denied access to their offices. Since it is considered " uncouth { a word my Mom uses to mean in poor taste} t openly criticize officials who do hold power to make changes that benefit everybody on social media & other platforms, what else can I say? 

More importantly what can I { and others} do to make Pensacola and Escambia County, Florida more just for all her citizens. 

This morning Brian and I made a quick stop to the 17th Street Trestle, where some new  Black Lives Matter murals have shown up. One is of Tymar Crawford, a young Black man killed by unnecessary police brutality last year.Like George Floyd, Tymar's life was cut short  and he never got a day in court to prove his innocence or to be found guilty.  

I did not speak out when Tymar died at the hands of city cops because I did not want to " make waves". To Tymar's family, I apologize. Without realizing it, I have bought into the stereotype of the  nice girl { woman, actually-- I'm 44 years old} who doesn't stir up trouble. 

But , as friends say, there is a time and place to stir up " good trouble. " 

I've marched peacefully on the state Capitol twice. Some of the crowd's demands on bot instances were met by  reluctant Governor and Florida House. Actions were taken based on those protests. 

I'm learning the ropes of Pensacola politics & it is hard. Minding my words is hard-- because I'd played the silent White woman for so long. I'm still trying to find my voice here, and it is a damn hard task. 

I never wanted to be a prophet--- and the next time I see my bishop I will inform him of my distaste at all this work I am called to do. I will mind my words , but I will not keep silent. 

Sarah 

Feast Of St Columba 2020

FINALLY: Recieving Communion AS " the Body Of Christ"

Photo of the main entrance to St Christopher's Episcopal Church, Pensacola, FL. The COMMUNITY who meet here are my family and COVID19 physically separated us for months. Today we worshipped and had the Sacrament of Communion together for the first time in months. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie. 

Today, the Body of Christ that meets at 3200 North 12th Avenue in Pensacola, Florida came together to participate in & receive the Bread of Life. 

Our bishop, in his wisdom, required that all of us refrain from consuming the blessed elements until such a time as the Body of Christ can come together again.  This meant, that for clergy who chose to consecrate elements at the Eucharistic celebration, could not consume nor offer to anyone else present. The consecrated elements have been, for the past three months, been put in the tabernacle for later use.

Thank you for your wisdom, Bishop+ . 

I'd said before, and still hold true to the fact that I've missed my COMMUNITY  more than anything else during the lockdown. I stand by that statement, but I must tell you that I got  bit weepy after my priest handed me the wafer and I consumed it in front of the altar at " home". 

Church isn't a building, but being able to worship in the same physical space { with restrictions to keep everyone safe put in place and followed} with the PEOPLE who *** are *** St Christopher's Pensacola and received the Sacrament together was an incredibly Holy-Spirit filled moment. Knowing that we were celebrating Christ's Sacrament together-- bound as a community that has been scattered for months-- is something I'll soon not forget.  While it is true that the mandatory physical distancing  that was necessary to get COVID19 under control changed parish family life-- looking back I think it made our bonds of love even stronger. 

On Trinity Sunday, we are called to somehow imagine the Godhead as relational. To me, nothing is as symbolic as the relational nature of God and  importance of our relationships with each other as sharing the common Sacrament. It is true that we are called to have our own relationship with God-- but The Trinity reminds us that life with The Holy Three cannot nor should not be lived solo. 

Regarding the racial tensions that the murder of George Floyd has brought to light recently, I can say that I m proud to be a part of Christ's Body that recognizes the Divinity in every human. On Friday , several of my parish family made a pilgrimage of sorts to " The Graffiti Bridge. Several took shifts serving pizza to the rally's organizers when others just chanted, sang and prayed. I wasn't able to go , but protested from the safety of my home with a sign on our home altar. 

#BLM altar still set up in our home. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie 

, 

Yet, nothing is as special as coming together around the altar as a Body to received Christ's Body.  No mount of necessary physical distancing policies can rob Christians of our intimacy with Christ and with each other at the altar rail. Knowing that the people with whom I gather weekly to celebrate and take part in our Eucharistic Feast also are helping to make strides towards ending racism show me that I'm surrounded by a cloud of witnesses who wish to make life equal for all God's People. 

The Divine is relational therefore , so should we. 

With a grateful heart,

~Sarah 

Trinity Sunday 2020

#BLM Protesting from Home

Altar in our home, with the petition to God, the cry of all the people across this nation: #BLACKLIVESMATTER. Candle lit in solidarity with last night's protesters. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie. 

For tow weeks, Pensacola citizens have been meeting at The Graffiti Bridge, peacefully protesting the murder-by-cop of George Floyd. These events have { so far} been without violent behavior-- and it seems like most people were mindful of the ever-present COVID19 threat. 

Last night a large group of people from my parish stood with our Black kin , serving the organizers free pizza from the back of  a van. Many brought their children. Both our clergy were in attendance . From what I saw and read this morning, the event was wonderful.

I had to stay home. Due to loving my spouse enough to want him to stay alive for many more years, I told the parish organizers that Brian and I will participate in the protest in the safety of our own home. s I've been an activist for years-- it was really tough on me to sit this one out-- especially when  crowd of good people whom I know & love were there. But to be honest-- big crowds still scare me. I'm okay going to small group gatherings outside with people I know and trust, and feel save attending Sunday Mass in-person at church. However, I am re-entering the rest of society very slowly-- and last night that meant saying prayers online at Compline with others , burning candles, and trying to remember that sometimes, staying home is an act of love. 

Its a price I have to pay to ensure that both Brian and I are safe. I'm only comfortable around people whom I know for sure  have been practicing mask-wearing- obsessive hand-washing, and no touching{ and I miss hugs  and handshakes horribly.....} We actually have two beach socials planned next week with people whom we know and trust & for these events I am thankful. 

As much as I wanted to be with my people at the protest last night-- I felt that staying in & away from thongs of people whom I DO NOT know was wise-- wise but sad nonetheless. Even though I get twitchy when too many people are in line at the grocery nd/or refuse to follow the prescribed physical-distancing traffic patterns in stores-- I am a social creature. 

As a matter of fact, since we moved to Pensacola almost three years ago-- I've become more of a social creature. While I do not miss the huge public events that were cancelled due to the threat, it is good for my soul to see my loved ones--- in person . Truth be told, I am so over Zooming, but that is another story for another time. 

Tomorrow we'll be at church together in person-- for the second time since this virus shut down life as we know it. I might not be able to hug nor exchange handshakes with my dear ones who attended the protest last night-- but I can use eye contact and a behind -the-mask big smile to tell them I am glad they witnessed for all of us-- joining our Black neighbors in a show of solidarity. 

I love St Christopher's Episcopal Church, and I love our city. The Way Of Love DOES led to working for justice--- be it from home or on the streets. 

Peace,

~Sarah

A Pilgrimage, " Rednecks" and An Empath's Life

Brian and I took a pilgrimage of sorts to the " Graffiti Bridge, a local landmark here in town that is famous for the constant street art that changes almost daily. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie.  C 2020

I just got out of virtual Noonday prayer { via Facebook live} . But to be honest, my heart ws not completely there. I relied on the community gathered virtually there { and the community of Christians praying the Office around the world}. As my priest read the words in her soft voice, I let them wash over me like a balm. 

Earlier this morning, Brian and I made a pilgrimage to the site where the peaceful vigils have been happening nightly in Pensacola, I wanted to say " I'm sorry" to George Floyd, Trayvon Martin, and all other Black men lynched by law enforcement. Three younger Black men were at the site-- I presume to make sure no one defaces it again. I made some small talk with one of the men-- asking him if he is the artist { He isn't}  We maintained a proper six feet, but I did look him squarely in the eye and say " I'm sorry" . He nodded-- a quiet acknowledgement of my role in benefiting from the centuries of systemic racism that hasn't stopped. 

Let me digress. I've never been afraid of Black men. Even growing up on racist Northern Appalachia, where any color of person other than White was rare, I never feared Black men . My brother has had  had Black friends since middle school and I remember racist slurs being shouted out of car windows when Matt and his friend played basketball in our yard as boys.

I did not understand it then, and I understand it { systemic racism} now. 

To be honest: I am more afraid of the White, sunburnt, overweight " redneck"  men who make such racist comments to my Black friends then and now.  Even now: I am more inclined to walk away from a " redneck" than I am a Black man. I get " twitchy" about certain Wal-marts in our area because I don't trust these types of men. As far as attractive men go: this " Good Ol' Boy' type  have never been appealing to me. { I value brains as an attractive quality in people and most " rednecks" are not learned}

It is these very " redneck" types of people who benefit the most from the racism that has kept Black people at a disadvantage for centuries. I know they type well-- I grew up among them { though thanks be to God-- my interfaith, hippie parents were and are more enlightened. 

Anyway, to get back to my original thesis, Brian and I stopped by the site of the vigils. I felt the collative sadness of the Pensacola Black community as I carefully walked along the memorial. Signs and votive candles were left as a makeshift memorial to George, Trayvon and all Black men who have been lynched. 

Here is another mural that caught my eye.  Brian and I have not and will not go to these public protests, because I feel it is my duty to keep myself & my loved ones safe. Yet I am glad that I had a chance to stop by safely this morning and pay homage. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie 

To be honest, praying is hard for me right now. As a matter of fact, just being human every day takes a hell of  lot of energy.  keeping faith has been hard for me-- last night Brian and I attended virtual Compline & I just could not make small talk without bringing everyone else down.  So I was silent. My mood was dark last night & I didn't want to ruin the virtual gathering by having a pity party. 

Maybe these events are easier for Boomers to process, sine they lived through the first wave of racial tensions that DID lead to violence.  My parents did not teach us that we , as White people, are superior to anyone. Looking back, my own Ashkenazi Jewish DNA  Mom's family} As an interfaith child, I never felt like I truly belonged in any house of worship. To my Jewish kin, I felt like an outsider looking in { especially when my cousins had their Bat Mitsvahs & my Roman Catholic kin and friends celebrated their First Communion. 

Other than overhearing some racist remarks from childhood neighbors in the early 1990's in Appalachia { Pittsburgh area--- and my home county in Pennsylvania is THE " REDDEST" county in that entire state. } I ever saw the deadly effects of racism. My brother attended a city middle and high school, but my rural high school in the hills had one Black family. The children of those Black parents were" accepted " because they were a family of talented athletes. My brother's school, on the other hand, certainly saw more racist issues than mine did-- as there is a more substantial Black population in town. 

Here you can see the remains of the vigils. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie.. 

I am afraid. I am mostly afraid for the Black people of this great nation, but I am also afraid of something that was threatened fo the first time in my 44 years on earth: Martial Law. People who know me well know I joked about the COVID19 lockdown as being _The Hunger Games_, but what I saw & heard on Monday night chilled me to the bone. 

Why didn't God make me a well-loved dog rather than a sensitive human? God, You could have made me any of Your creatures & you chose to make me one of the cruelest  species on earth. Humans are cruel to animal, to the environment & especially to one another. 

I'd much rather be a well-loved dog. 

Namaste,

~Sarah

C 2020 The Pensacola Hippie.