I test SO STRONGLY as an INFJ on the Myers-Briggs scale. It has taken until well into middle age for me to ' get a grip' on all the negative traits of this personality type. Especially as a strong J" I have a need to know with a degree of certainty ' what happens next.
Covid19 life can be hellish for those of us, like myself, who need to know what happens next. As strong " J on the Myers-Briggs personality scale I DO NOT deal well with ambiguous plans. As a matter of fact when we first met, Brian said that I needed to stop being so " rigid" in my planning.
I've gotten less rigid as I've grown older and more mature in my faith, but COVID19, and all the uncertainties it brings to our world as it was known, frightens me. The fact that I'm also a strong " F " in this four-letter equation hasn't helped me --- I love being with people---even though my truly introverted nature needs plenty of time lone to re-charge. For this introvert--choosing to stay at home is different from the mandated closing down of society that frightened and angered me. In my mind and heart, I knew that physical distancing is a huge act of LOVE-- yet what I struggle with is the " for how long?" question.
I will not lie: the " for how long" question still is in the back of my conscious mind. I now can { mostly} ignore it.
Last month Brian and I have adapted a quasi-monastic way of life at home. Sleep, prayer, work, prayer work prayer, work, recreation prayer, and then sleep. This routine helps me in knowing that at least there is time set aside to do what needs to be done. Saying there of the four daily offices online with my beloved community also helps me stay connected to those I love and grounded in my faith.
As I've matured, I've learned skills that help me cope with the " shadow side" of my INFJ personality and bring out the positive aspects of my personality traits. For instance, I've learned to better control the F--- realizing that the gift of empathy can either help me help others or destroy me from the inside out. I chose to compartmentalize and only deal with what I can do to help in the here and now. Taking up my paintbrushes, colored pencils and oil pastels has also helped me " get out of my head" when the " F" or the " J" aspect of my personality wants to burst forth in an unhealthy way.
I am grateful for all the people n my life who have showed ,me how to bring forth the best parts of my personality-- while encouraging me to find ways to deal with the " shadow side" my personality. All of us-- regardless of how we score on any personality tests , have " shadows" that we need to acknowledge. & it has taken me until after age 40 to learn how to do this for myself and others.
Stay well,
Sarah
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