A Non-Mother's View of " Mother's Day Week"

Family Photo taken by someone on the Pensacola Ferry Ride last summer

Each May, its the same damn thing. Easter is over, so all the Mother's Day commercial crap comes out in stores. Since I am now the shopper in our household { thanks COVID19} I am bombarded with " Mother's Day merchandise as soon as I walk into Winn-Dixie Publix or Dollar Tree { We don't go to Wal-Mart anymore, thank God!}

On social media, there are such trends as " Ten Day pic of being a mom-- where women challenge their friends to post one photo a day of why they are proud to be a Mom. I've learned to scroll pat most of these happy Mommy brags, but it hurts to see so many on a daily basis in May.  Of course I am happy when someone I know and love has a child that has a brag-worthy achievement--- but these " Mommy Challenges seem less about the children in the phots and more about the women posting them. 

Some of us are child-free by choice. Others, such as myself, are childless due to medical issues. Some women I know have had to bury a child-- a pain that no human  should ever endure. But it happens--  and my heart especially goes out to the women who've had the tragedy of burying someone whom they've brought into the world. 

My heart also aches for women who have lost their mothers early--- either as a child or an adult. 

I also think about those who have distant, dysfunctional, or anything less than " Mom Is My Best Friend" relationships with their mothers. My mom is alive and healthy and I love her, but we are two entirely different women.  I love her, I respect her opinions { most of the time} but she's never been my best friend. As an adult daughter, I've accepted that fact,  but the entire month of May just brings to mind all that I have missed by not being a  mom & by not having a particularly " Ma Ingalls" relationship with my own mom. 

Women like me, who are not mothers { for whatever reasons} are accomplished and proactive in our own ways. I'm a writer, photographer & visual artist. I { except now because of COVID19 keeping everyone at home}am involved in my community. I've volunteered for a political campaign for a woman { a Mom to three awesome young adults} who ran for Congress.  I've mentored and done other volunteer work at one of our city's poorest elementary schools. I'm always looking to serve others. 

Yet when May comes around, its all about if you've birthed or adopted a child. And for those of us  not in that club, May is a damn lonely month. 

Be grateful for your kids & grandkids. But remember to be kind this month to that childless/childfree woman you know. Respect her privacy. Say something sincere about something she accomplishes career  or volunteer work-wise.   

DO NOT ASK HER WHY SHE NEVER HAD CHILDREN. I repeat , DO NOT ASK HER WHY SHE NEVER HAD CHILDREN. This is invasive and rude. 

My name is Sarah and thanks for reading my TED talk. 

~Sarah