Answer: What have I gained for myself during this quarantine/physical separation season?

Me carrying my trusted trash-picker-upper thing nd wearing a mask on the beach last weekend. Photo by Brian L. Pensacola Beach, FL

The question posed to us at Noonday Prayer yesterday was this one: What have I gained for myself during this quarantine/physical separation season? As states slowly begin to open up public spaces again, we are very much still " on alert" regarding COVID19. It is still not entirely "safe" out there , so each family must decide for themselves when and to where  returning is safe. 

For instance, I will NOT use the local public swimming pool for AT LEAST another four weeks { maybe all summer-- depending on the numbers of cases }Additionally, I probably will not return to my gym until August or September--- I don't trust that other people are following the same safety guidelines as are Brian and me. 

So  what has this season of COVID19 physical separation taught me. 

First , it re-enforced the idea that church is not a building Church is her people, and while I am eternally grateful to St Christopher's Pensacola clergy and staff for making our online prayer & worship experiences wonderful-- NOTHING compares to seeing those PEOPLE you love. Even with masks, a ' no touching '  policy and maintaining safe social distance I'm so excited to worship in-person with my PEOPLE again. I'll never take for granted the opportunity to gather for worship ' in the flesh' again. I trust that my faith community has been closely following cleanliness, wearing masks, and appropriate space protocols. 

Another sacred aspect of my life that I'll never  take lightly again is the gift of going to the beach. Our churches closed their doors-- nd that was bad, but I really didn't find out how restricted I'd be until the Governor closed all of Florida's public beaches. To me, that felt like  part of my soul had been ripped from me-- as I am a beach-lover. My elemental sign is definitely water-- and even knowing that the beaches were closed for everyone's protection did not ease my sorrow or anxiety. 

I also learned that its okay to ask for medicinal { legal} help when dealing with anxiety caused by unnatural situations such as COVID19. My doctor prescribed Valium, which calmed me down enough to get through my day and re-awakened my Muse . Oddly enough, being slightly drugged over these months have made me a productive artist and nature photographer. 

Speaking of nature: since the beach was off-limits for so many weeks, Brian and I had to find other ways of outdoor rest and recreation. Thankfully, Pensacola and Gulf Breeze city parks remained open-- but with restrictions. We'd spent many mornings on the Bay side of Shoreline park in Gulf Breeze.  I'd become friendly with the family of osprey who nested top  utility pole,  , spent some time under the shade of a great oak tree. 

Now that the beaches are open, Brian and I only visit in the morning hours and we wear masks. I know many people feel safe enough in outdoor public spaces to be mask-free, but we do not.  As more people show up we leave-- usually around 10 in the morning. I've discovered that an added perk of wearing masks to the beaches & parks is that my cheeks, nose and facial skin is protected from sunburn! 

Oddly enough I've discovered that " time away" from people has brought me closer to The Divine . I met Earth-Maker and got to know one of Three-In-One's servants from pre-Christian Ireland via the stories & symbols of St Brigid of Kildare { Ireland} I recall how my childhood was spent in the ancient Northern Appalachian mountains-- with the creek and woodlands within walking distance of my house.  It has been a blessing for me to brig that child's wonder of a Creator Who created all that is-- including me-- with a more mature faith of an adult. Getting re-connected with Nature helps me understand myself more--- why I've always been drawn to Nature and that all of Nature is Incarnate-- in the flesh. 

Come Holy Spirit, indeed.....

~Sarah

Feast Of Pentecost 2020

Lament of Our Earth--- the Island Home

Pensacola Beach , Morning. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie

O Creator of the Universe, Sovereign One,

Why must humans  destroy our planet in a myriad of ways, including littering our beautiful shorelines with plastic trash, food packaging, and used paper products. How can humans believe ourselves to not act as good stewards of what You have graciously given us -- insisted we pollute and rob Earth of Her natural resources. We are a greedy species, only thinking of ourselves-- forgetting that we share this home with other plants and animals. 

Creator, I know I have met You face-to-face many times as I spend time with Nature. I see evidence of You in the majestic oak trees, shimmering white sand, and blue-green glory of the Gulf of Mexico. I have met You in the ancient rocks of the Appalachian range where I grew up. 

Sovereign One, please open up the hearts of more people concerning Earth's plight. Give them eyes to see, noses to smell, ears to hear, and open harts with which to act. 

Loving Creator, continue to show me ways that I can be an Earth-Healer. Remind me to not grumble as I do my part to keep beaches clean near my own home. Remind me of my proud Celtic heritage , a heritage that has long revered Your Earth. 

Earth-Maker, Pain-bearer , and Life Sustainer, to You I give glory each and every day I am able to sit on the Gulf shores and bask in Your Handiwork. 

In the Name of the Holy Three...

Amen. 

~Sarah 

Communion & Community During a Pandemic

St Christopher's Icon Rosary Beads. There is  tiny icon image of St Christopher carrying the Christ child cross the river-- its too small to be seen in the photo. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie. 

I've been thinking a lot about words and their roots lately. { That happens to writers-- it is a side effect of our vocation}  Both the words  community and communion share the same root, and in more than one language.  According to The Free Dictionary, both words share the same root. Check it out: 

[Middle English comunen, to have common dealings with, converse, from Old French communer, to make common, share (from commun, common; see common) and perhaps from Old French communier, to share in the Communion (from Late Latin commūnicāre, from Latin, to communicate; see communicate).]

According to Dictionary.com, the word " commune" is a verb . Here is the meaning: 

 1.to converse or talk together, usually with profound intensity, intimacy, etc.; interchange thoughts or feelings.

2. to be in intimate communication or rapport:

to commune with nature.
  For Christians, I am pretty certain that our Sacrament of receiving  the Eucharist ; the blessed Blood & Body of Our LORD, fits definition two.  To Christians, receiving the blessed elements and taking them into our own physical bodies is an intimate act with the Godhead. On Sunday, our associate rector mentioned in his sermon that it has been at least 10 weeks since any of us have been able to share in this intimate act with Our Lord and each other. For those of us for whom the 1979 Book Of Common Prayer is the norm or who went to Roman Catholic Mass with grandparents sometimes as a small child, this Sacrament is central to our weekly gathering of God's People. 
 I miss the Gift of Communion at the altar , and my soul will jump for joy when we will be allowed to receive the Sacrament { in one kind for health measures}  Last week, when I read the emailed letter to the congregation from our rector { Head of Staff} , she explained that Communion will not be distributed  during these first couple of weeks of re-entering public worship. { She called this "ante Communion " which is a new term to me tat basically means " without Communion"--  a new term for me.} 
 There is no doubt that I'll miss the gift of the Bread for those first Sundays that we are back together.  The Eucharistic feast is an important part of my walk with God through Christ and the Holy Spirit. 
  However, just knowing that we as  COMMUNITY  { as of today } on Sunday fills my heart with joy. I've missed the Sacrament-- it was hard to see the consecrated elements sent to the reserve during the lockdown. Yet what my soul is starving for is being with my community in person. 
  While there is a log list of safety rules and procedures that we must follow when we re-convene in-person, I'm finding them a blessing rather than a burden.  To hear sacred music played ad sung by designated soloists -- even though congregational singing is not permitted is a small price to pay to sit and worship with my people. 
Hugging and shaking hands are also not permitted-- and as hard as that will be for many of us-- I totally understand why this rule must be in place. For the time being, I'll practice what I call " eye hugging" looking deep into someone's eyes intentionally. 
 Brian and I have been practicing such physical { NOT SOCIAL--- as I the that term for its inaccuracy} distance visits with my parents. Masks are worn, and visits on their back porch. The four of us celebrated both Mother's Day { a day that already is burdened with a lot of my own ' baggage, but that's my problem} and my 44th birthday in this fashion. We ordered take-out seafood from one of the few eateries in Navarre and my shrimp and fries were surprisingly delicious. On both Mother's Day and my birthday we had a Zoom video call with my brother, his wife and the nephew and niece. 
On Friday, Brian and I also enjoyed a safe , physically-distant visit with a good friend { who also practices safety and cleanliness according to the CDC} at the beach. Our chairs were properly spaced out, and it was such a wonderful gift to chat in-person with our friend. She and I  { mask-wearing and staying far enough apart} walked down to the Gulf's edge nd sunk our feet into the healing salt water.  We purposely went to the beach early, and there was no problem staying far away from strangers. Normally, Brian and I are early beachgoers-- we are not fond of tourists-- so the early beach experience is a normal pre-COVID summer ritual.  
To me, my COMMUNITY--- the people whose lives are linked to my own { mostly through church but other avenues here too} are what matter--- whom I miss & will continue to work to protect as we slowly re-enter COVID19 society. 
Come Holy Spirit, indeed......~Sarah
  

Nature as Great Healer And Comfortor

Fort Pickens Area . Morning. Photo By The Pensacola Hippie

Brian and I took a break and drove over to the beach this morning. { wearing masks and making sure to keep away from other people. The Gulf side rea of Fort Pickens National Seashore is open, so we found a parking spot and soon were looking the the Great Gulf. 

I will never-- as long as I am alive, tire of this view. 

Toes in the sand. Gulf Of Mexico . Photo by The Pensacola Hippie 

If there is one lesson that we humans should learn from this forced isolation due to COVID19, it is to NOT take the ability to be in Nature for granted. The weeks that I was forced to stay away from the Gulf due to restrictions, I felt like I had lost a friend. My priest, in all her wisdom, advised me to look t this time away from all that I love as a " deployment" of sorts. She told me that the Gulf will be there when the restrictions are lifted, and she was { as usual } correct.

Next to not having in person worship with my dear ones, it was the restrictions from the beach that ripped my heart. As Christine Painter writes in her book Earth: Our Original Monastery: 

Nature has a way f offering us solace at times of need... This kind of intimacy with nature means that when our hearts feel heavy or conflicted, we might find ourselves walking a trail in the woods, along a river, or in a nearby park to experience a sense of kinship with Creation. 

I grew up in Northern Appalachia, so I have a special relationship with the flora and fauna of that region. 

However, since I've been living on Florida's Gulf Coast for more that twenty years, the Gulf side beaches have been where I feel closest to Nature and her Creator.  It was the waters of the Gulf that cleansed my soul when I was at my lowest point in my adult life--- the birds , crabs, fish and other critters welcomed me to their home with openness that most people will never understand.

In the summers I swam in that warm salty water and let the rough salt brush way all the negative energy that I carried with me before I was properly diagnosed and prescribed medication that allowed me to return to my full self.

Even when I was not quite sure I wanted to remain a Christian { and there were several times that I seriously questioned my faith}  Nature reminded me that we are all on this Earth together-- and designed to live in harmony. Nature gently reminded me that " religion" is a human construct, but faith is tangible. All I had to do was walk into the Gulf , or scoops some white sand  and let it sift through my fingers to feel close to the Divine. On some days the breeze would mess my hair and I felt the Breath of the Earth -Maker breath in my ears. 

Nature was, and still is, my sanctuary. Living here has taught me to respect her-- she can be unpredictable. I have learned how to " read" the waves so to sty safe from rip currents and to not enter the water during  purple flag day-- dangerous sea life has been spotted near the breaking waves. 

I am a beach-loving trash-picking-up hippie chick. I own that identity and wear it proudly. As I get to know more about St Brigid and her world of pre-Christian Druidry, I am understanding myself and why I always equate The Creator with Nature. 

Peace with y'all...

~Sarah

Mediative Walk : Noticing Color-- and #IWonder How we can all come together as PEOPLE during this time

Photo of one of my sacred spaces, Beckwith Camp and Conference Center in Alabama. This is the outdoor altar. { Photo by The Pensacola Hippie }

The weather was weird this morning. Brian and planned to walk the nature trail at the university this morning, but rain and dark skies 

It was well after Noonday Prayer when I finally got out for one mile walk. On days such as today , when weather is unpredictable, I don't stress to hard about meeting my 10,000 steps Fitbit goal.  Anyway, on my walk I was aware of all the sights and sounds around me--- and the blooming hydrangea bush in the front yard beckoned to me. So, I turned off the music, and went to visit the plants. Stooping down, I gently touched several of the blooms, paying attention to the texture of the petals. I took in the several shades of purple that were represented on these bushes.

Hydrangia plants in full bloom on my walking route. I love the various shades of purple represented here

Purple is my favorite color-- and I was delighted to see several different shades on one plant. This reminded me that Creator God delights in all the colors in all God's creation. Plants and animals  appear on Earth in delightful shades of color-- and I've always wondered why humans--- especially we white humans make such a fuss about skin color.  We delight in the color combinations of other living things { both plants and animals} so why must we { again white American people } assign random " good" and " bad" connotations to non-white members of our own species? 

I am honestly not looking to start an argument here-- all I know is that if God made humanity in God's own image-- setting us slightly above the other creatures-- why does color matter to some people? Racism makes no sense to me-- and with the current surge in public lashing out on Asian-Americans-- 

I'm seeing an ugly underbelly of the nation that I love  I'm 44 years old, and in the past three years I've not seen such hatred { mostly done by White Straight and very insecure and angry men}I'll confess right here that I find loving such people who perpetuate such violence.

How can we show other people that all humans, regardless of the color of their skin, are Beloved. This virus pandemic has no favorites-- people of all colors are catching it. Perhaps one Great Lesson that we can learn from this awful pandemic is to appreciate the colors of people who don't match our skin tone. 

Perhaps on this Ascension Day, we can remember that Jesus is no longer confined to one human person He died , rose , and ascended into the Creator so that He is in and with all of us. Since we re all made in the Image of the Creator, and Jesus is in and with all of us -- perhaps it is time to stop dividing God's People into colors These " colors" include :

Skin color

Gender identity

Sexuality { however that is expressed, one's sexuality IS NOT necessarily defined by one's partner or spouse}

Age{ Both anti-old people and anti-younger people}

Socioeconomic status. 

I am sure there are others. 

Have a Blessed Ascension Day evening. Remember that Christ is in both YOU nd everyone-- including the" other" whom you see as different. 

Pax Christos....

~Sarah

Contemporary Photography & Celtic Christian Spirituality

Screenshot of a Druid prayer that I find meaningful, and very adaptable, to my Christian faith. 

Currently I am reading a book called Earth: Our Original Monastery  by Christine Painter.  I've discovered that I already incorporate many of her suggested Celtic practices into my own Christian theology & practice. For instance, in the last chapter that I completed  she suggested that we look to receive photos rather than take them. She said that the verb " to take" connotes a consumeristic action rather than a contemplative one. 

I have been practicing this form of Contemplative Photography for years. Now how I approach Nature , receiving  rather than taking then is an act of gratitude. 

Words matter. 

On the other to receive  is an action verb tat connotes hospitality  and generosity.  We are the receiver of the beautiful Gift that is the photograph. This morning, as I took my morning contemplative walk, a lovely purple bloom caught my eye. Rather than whip out my phone to " take"  poor-quality snapshots.   I took time to that Creator God for the gift of springtime blooms and especially for the Gift of the color purple-- a hue that has been special to me since birth. 

Here is the photo:

Bloom see on my walk this morning before the rains came. What struck me about this flower is that it is solitary-- where are the other blooms? How did that seed get in that place anyway? 

In this way-- I honored the Gift that is this tiny bloom while remembering that we humans are also " Earth Creatures. Purple is my favorite color--- and I gave thanks for a color that has been a part of my soul since birth. 

Yesterday afternoon, when I walked out to see if the mail had arrived, I spotted two anoles sitting on our porch steps. I simply greeted them verbally with "Hi, how are you today?" Although I did not have my phone handy at the time, I was able to receive the Gift of seeing the anoles. 

Slow down, take time to notice the smallest plants and animals in your part of Creation. Be intentional when taking photos of the natural world. 

In this weird, scary world of pandemic, one lesson I've learned is to slow down and appreciate what Gifts are all around me.  Here in Florida, most public venues are closed, stores are slowly opening up  with limited hours. Other than church { when we re supposed to gather on Pentecost Sunday-- May 31, Brian and I will still lead  quiet, monastic life here in Pensacola. 

Give thanks. 

Amen. 

~Sarah

#This is44 Day 6 : Birthday Weekend in Pandemic

Tomorrow I turn 44 years old.

Wow!

 Brian made sure that I had a nice " pre-birthday" I did some housework in the morning, caught up on some reading and card-making, and took walks in both our neighborhood and at a nearby city park.

We got a nice take-out lunch from one of our favorite eateries, and two cards came in the mail.  One was from one of my favorite Aunts in Pittsburgh, and the other was from my parish. 

The parish sends out birthday postcards to parishioners, and our rector writes a personal message on each one. It means a lot , not only to receive a card from my church family-- especially during these times when we cannot be physically together as a community. Our rector writes a personal note on each card, and this small gesture means a lot in this very dis-connected world. 

This is a strange time and as a empathic " feeler", I find myself longing for in-person connection with loved ones. My choice to not go to Pittsburgh this summer is the correct choice, but not an easy choice.  I miss my family in Pennsylvania and Ohio and I know that it is the right thing to protect people I love here in Pensacola. 

Tomorrow Brian and I will attend virtual church { again where I'll miss all the real " happy birthday hugs from my very affectionate congregation}. After church, Brian and I will drive over to my parents' house for a physically-distant small gathering of less than ten people. . Again, maintaining the physical distancing policies that keep everyone safe is hard on me: I am a hugger with people I know and love.  Not hugging my own Dad hello and goodbye makes me ache with sadness.  Yet I still get to see my parents in-person & I want to keep both of them alive and healthy. 

If this pandemic has taught me anything, it is love requires sacrifice. Look to the Cross on which Our Savior died. He, if He were walking among us now, would probably teach is to tend to the most vulnerable, the sick, the elderly, and the poor. Now I do not know for sure, but I also imagine that He would be wearing a mask and advising everyone else to do as He does. 

Middle age is weird. I found out that I've grown in wisdom in the last ten weeks than I'd grown in my first twenty years of life on Earth. 

Peace to all...

~Sarah

#ThisIs44 Day 5 : Making Tough Choices and Remote Soul Friends

Every damn day.... the same day. I'm not meant to be a monastic. But here we are...

Today is a Friday. It is the 15th of May and the only reason I can remember today' s date is that it is the birthday of my Mom, Barbara { HAPPY BIRTHDAY} and to a wonderful anam cara  { soul friend} the Reverend Alla Renee Bozarth, Ph.D. To stay out of trouble with both of them, I'll NOT reveal their year of birth . 

Happy birthday , ladies

My mom I of course my mom and I love her. She's a good person who has raised two children well. She loves her grandchildren. 

 But today I want to give thanks for the life & witness of Alla Bozarth, priest, poet, contemplative soul friend. She and I got to know each other when I contacted her telling her how much her book Womanpriest inspired me. Alla hs other books of poetry and prose, go to her web site  https://bearblessings.com/

Through our co-respondence , Alla and I discovered that in spite of the age difference { I'm an ' old soul' in many ways} and miles between us we share similar life paths.  Alla's story is not mine to tell, but both of us understand what it s like to have bodies that occasionally betray us, and to have young, active minds that are stuck in day-long waves of pain. Both she and I say " Purple is my color" and have a deep reverence for Nature She lives in Oregon and has posted some of the most breathtaking scenery of Mount Hood & the surrounding woods. 

However, I also made a hard choice today. I've decided that it is not safe for me to get on airplanes in order to go up North this summer. My heart breaks over this  but I cannot afford to bring home COVID19 or some other weird contagion to Brian.  I waited three decades for my soulmate, and I will do everything I can to keep him healthy. 

Additionally, the required two-week quarantine of anyone who has traveled out-of-state will further deteriorate my mental . Physical distancing is hard enough for me, I'd not survive a real quarantine. 

As the nation slowly opens up, I still need to be careful. Brian and I will NOT go to Palafox Market, any sporting events, or any  entertainment venues where a large crowd may gather. We'll continue to wear masks during our beach visits & only go during weekday mornings.  I hope & pray that the governor WILL NOT open up Florida to out-of-state tourism, but my couple trips to Tallahassee leave me skeptical regarding his choice on that matter. 

This is 44, y'all and its been one crappy year. Yet communities flourish anyway-- I only need to look to my Compline group that meets on Zoom for prayer and conversation to know that humanity isn't totally cut off from each other.  I cam arrange more Zoom visits with my McCarren family this summer. 

Both of the women in my life who celebrate the same birthday and birth year today share one trait in common. Both Alla and my mom are resilient. 

So.

Am.

I. 

Peace , love & light.....

~Sarah

#ThisIS44 Day 4: Living well as an INFJ

I test SO STRONGLY as an INFJ on the Myers-Briggs scale. It has taken until well into middle age for me to ' get a grip' on all the negative traits of this personality type.  Especially as a strong J" I have a need to know with a degree of certainty ' what happens next. 

Covid19 life can be hellish for those of us, like myself, who need to know what happens next. As  strong " J on the Myers-Briggs personality scale I DO NOT deal well with ambiguous plans. As a matter of fact when we first met, Brian said that I needed to stop being so " rigid" in my planning. 

I've gotten less rigid as I've grown older and more mature in my faith, but COVID19, and all the uncertainties it brings to our world as it was known, frightens me.  The fact that I'm also a strong " F " in this four-letter equation hasn't helped me --- I love being with people---even though my truly introverted nature needs plenty of time lone to re-charge. For this introvert--choosing to stay at home is different from the mandated closing down of society that frightened and angered me. In my mind and heart, I knew that physical distancing is a huge act of LOVE-- yet what I struggle with is the " for how long?" question. 

I will not lie: the " for how long" question still is in the back of my conscious mind. I now can { mostly} ignore it. 

Last month  Brian and I have adapted a quasi-monastic way of life at home. Sleep, prayer, work, prayer work prayer, work, recreation prayer, and then sleep. This routine helps me in knowing that  at least there is time set aside to do what needs to be done. Saying there of the four daily offices online with my beloved community also helps me stay connected to those I love and grounded in my faith. 

As I've matured, I've learned skills that help me cope with the " shadow side" of my INFJ personality and bring out the positive aspects of my personality traits. For instance, I've learned to better control the F--- realizing that the gift of empathy can either help me help others or destroy me from the inside out. I chose to compartmentalize and only deal with what I can do to help in the here and now.  Taking up my paintbrushes, colored pencils  and oil pastels has also helped me " get out of my head" when the " F" or the " J" aspect of my personality wants to burst forth in an unhealthy way. 

I am grateful for all the people n my life who have showed ,me how to bring forth the best parts of my personality-- while encouraging me to find ways to deal with the " shadow side" my personality. All of us-- regardless of how we score on any personality tests , have " shadows" that we need to acknowledge. & it has taken me until  after age 40 to learn how to do this for myself and others. 

Stay well, 

Sarah

#ThisIs44 Day 3: My Father's Daughter

My Dad. Pensacola Blue Wahoos' Baseball game. Date not remembered. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie.  

When I was a little girl, my mother always said that " Sarah is  " Dan { my Dad} without a mustache. While it is true that we definitely resemble each other { I hardly look like I'm related to Mom at all}, I've noticed that some of my personality traits have either amplified or changed to be more like my Dad. 

It is true, Dad and I do resemble each other. We have the same eyes, nose { those his nose have been broken more than once so our noses look different now-- but I have his original nose}nd mouth. We share the same dimple in the righthand corner of our mouths. We both have long fingers and toes. 

Dad taught me how to dribble a basketball and to kick and toss a football. He taught me the intricate details of both sports. He and our Mom instilled an early love of reading in both my younger brother and me by reading to & with us before bedtime.  He taught us to ' clean our plates" at mealtimes. 

As one of six children from an Irish-American Catholic family, Dad values time with loved ones over money spent on material things. I have many fond memories of Sunday suppers  birthdays and holidays hanging out with Dad's parents , siblings their spouses & { eventually}  my younger cousins. From him I learned the importance of " famiily" be it blood relatives or family-of-choice. Family meant love, and to love someone fully is to accept them as they are-- faults and all. He isn't perfect, and never expected perfection from me nor my brother. He did  however, expect us to put 100 percent into all we did. 

Both my brother and I are Pittsburgh sports' fans to the core. No mater how poorly our teams perform, you can count on we three McCarrens { Dad, My brother, and myself} to cheer them on from Florida. To be honest, it has been hard being Steeler fans during these past few seasons but Dad taught us perseverance in all things.  This trait of not quitting on anyone or anything is practiced well as Steeler fans. 

Persevere. Persevere. Persevere. 

It could be worse. We could be Cleveland Bowns or Detroit Tigers' fans ! 

To be honest, the only thing Dad failed at is teaching me to love mathematics. Many yelling matches & tears were shed over my math homework from early school all through high school. Dad is one of those rare people who is gited at math and is quite an accomplished wordsmith. Try as I might-- math does not come easy for me like it does for him. Not long ago we were having a discussion about paying off our house,  and I had to remind him that the math required to figure out how much money we still owe the bank is way beyond my pay grade. { My math "pay grade ' is very low & I am fine with this weakness} 

Dad doesn't practice any sort of organized religion for personal reasons that are not mine to reveal. However, almost every day since he relocated to the Florida Gulf Coast, he's spent part of his morning walking the same portion{ Dad and I both are fond of routine and are uncomfortable with big changes}of Navarre Beach. While walking, Dad picks up the litter that other beach attendees leave behind. He takes a bucket with him, and faithfully declutters ' his" mile of beach every morning.  He says " The beach is my Cathedral."   Since Brian and I spend a lot of time at the water's edge, I totally understand why Dad feels that the Gulf beaches are  holy ground.: 

Pensacola Beach on a windy, cloudy morning. Sacred ground, indeed. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie. 

When m nephew and niece come, we enjoy the Cathedral as a family. At our wedding weekend, several of my relatives met Dad at " his" beach to walk the mile and watch the November sunrise. 

Navarre Beach {a.ka. Dan's Cathedral} sunrise. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie

Ghost crab . Photo by The Pensacola Hippie. 

Both my parents don't eat beef, pork, turkey , or chicken, and as I've gotten older, I've seen then reap the benefits of a meat-free diet. I'm married to a Southern carnivore, so our house will never be a TOTALY vegetarian home, but Brian and I are doing our best to eat less animal flesh.  I'm a lot happier when I manage a meat-free day, but training Brian's palate isn't as easy. 

As I age, I realize that I care deeply about many of my Dad's social justice passions. For instance, I recently started a practice of clening up a portion of the waterfront when Brian and I go out to enjoy Nature . 

Beach Hippie , wearing her mask. Photo by Brian. 

The COVID19 -related forced retreat from the Gulf's white sand and green-blue water has given me a new appreciation for the part of the world that I call home.  Brian and I do not live as close to the beach as my parents do-- but we get there as we can. 

As I inch towards midde-middle age, I am PROUD to be My Father's Daughter. 

Cheers! 

Sarah

#ThisIs44 Day 2: Waiting for, and Finding " My Person"

Sarah & Brian's wedding photo. November 28 2015 . St Francis of Assisi Episcopal Church, Gulf Breeze, FL.  And yes, the bride wore purple, as I'd always claimed I would do for my wedding. Photo by Ann Woll. 

Brian and I got married when I was 38 years old. By that time most of my high school classmates were parents of teenagers-- either married to their original spouse, divorced, or married to a second spouse. 

At the age of 30 I had given up the chance of ever meeting my soulmate -- or if I'd marry them.  I'd spent most of my 20's undoing all the damage from my high school and first attempt at college. As a shy teen, I never acted upon any of my crushes . Additionally, I've known of my intelligence for most of my life & discovered from my teen years on that many people are terrified of intelligent women. I did not know how to " play the dating game" as my Mom constantly advised me to do-- I am a terrible actress and cannot ' play a role' if it would save my life. 

When I moved to Florida I made a few poor choices regarding my social life-- but deep down I knew the person who would share my life had to be my best friend . In retrospect, I really cannot say that I LIKED anyone I'd dated-- and really how can anyone love someone whom they do not like? 

Brian is my best friend. I love him, because I really like him.  We've been together for 11 years, and married for 4.5 years. Our marriage , in the short time we've been spouses ,has survived job changes that led to his retirement, a move to Pensacola and new-to-us territory, neck surgery, { me}a bad case of influenza { me} , prostate cancer { him, obviously}  two death is in the family { his siblings }and now a pandemic. 

Whew.  2019 and 2020 had/have not been kind to us. 

Honestly if I'd been stuck with anyone else I've dated--- I'd have given up by now. Marriage is hard work, but when a person is married to their soulmate, this is joy-full work. I waited for my soulmate, and knew I would not settle for anyone less than my best friend  My parents' own marriage is 49 years old and still going strong, and it is because they are each other's " person". Both my brother and I are blessed to have such a model for marriage--and for this I am thankful. 

I also, again in retrospect, give thanks to God that I DID NOT MARRY ANYONE before I met Brian.  When I was going through my second and third decade and the wedding { and BABY SHOWERS-- UGH}  started coming in I'd toss the envelope aside and wonder what made me so unappealing. It hurt a hellova lot. 

Yet, The Earth-maker had a plan for me. When I was sufficiently mature enough to handle a lifetime partnership, Brian came into my life. He is worth every bitter Valentine's Day , every single lonely wedding attendance, and all the prying questions and " knowing " looks that some of my relatives gave me when I made my yearly trip to Pittsburgh. 

Brian, " I love you a bushel and a pack and a hug around the neck" and you are forever my person. These last 11 years have been amazing and I look forward to many more adventures with my best friend. 

~Sarah