Disordered Eating and Recovery. One Step at a Time

                                   Taken at the University of West Florida hiking trail today. I'm much better than I was in October, but still need to gain more weight to be healthy again.  Photo by Brian.

 I'll be real with y'all: I've suffered from disordered eating since middle school. The genesis was when I had surgery to correct severe scoliosis during the summer between 6th and 7th grade. 

  Anyway, I really do not wish to delve into my lifelong issues with eating disorders. Rather I do want to remind people that disordered eating is an illness, much like drug and alcohol misuse. People with those sicknesses receive a lot more help and community support than those of us with disordered eating.  I'm grateful that there is help and more understanding available for some addictive illnesses, but my wish is to make eating disorders lose the stigma that surrounds them so people can feel safe to get much-needed help. 

 In October I fainted at church. 

 When I " came to" from fainting, my legs were so weak that people helped me get into our truck-- I did not trust myself to walk unaided. A retired ER nurse who is a member of the parish checked me for a concussion {I had fallen face-first into an upholstered chair} 

  I am NOT " cured" My eating disorder has been in remission for several years. However, my friend's death {non-COVID} this autumn triggered my need for control, which brought about a bad relapse.  {Thankfully, our hospital is close to both the church and our home.} I was able to get wheeled into the intake area & was cognizant enough to answer questions and fill out insurance paperwork from my wheelchair. 

  Not sure how long I would sit in the holding-tank of the ER waiting room, I asked Brian to drive the short distance to our house to pick up my tablet, my blanket and my Book of Common Prayer. 

  The medical staff at the hospital was thorough-- I was subjected to tests that ranged from blood samples to a chest X ray. It was during one of the blood draws that my priest phoned me. Obviously, I could not take her call at that moment, so I asked Brian to answer my phone and let her know I'll call later with an update.   It was via the chest Xray that the ER doctor saw the heart murmur.... and they listened to my chest several times and wrote orders for an EKG.  One of the nurses brought me food from the hospital cafeteria-- and my hunger allowed me to gobble the scrambled eggs and overcooked cheese grits as though it was the best food I'd tasted in my life. 

 My discharge papers said I had to arrange for a follow-up with my primary-care provider. The heart murmur concerned them. Additionally, I was told to increase my water intake-- as dehydration is more dangerous than malnutrition. 

 I am grateful for the good care-- especially during a pandemic-- from the Ascension Sacred heart Pensacola Emergency Department team. I am also grateful for my ever-patient spouse, Brian and my priest, Susan+ {I did talk with er on the phone later that afternoon and hearing her voice is always soothing.}

 Every day-- ESSPECIALLY during these weird times that continue due to COVIDIOTS refusing to do what is good and get the damn shots-- is a new opportunity to live a healthy life. 

 Life is good. 

 Amen. 

 Sarah Elizabeth McCarren

12/29/21

.