I love candles. I love how the soft light reminds me of the fire within me, fire that comes from generations of tough Celtic and Ashkenazi Jewish women.
Lighting candles also draws my soul to a place where I can be ready for worship. I especially found the practice of lighting a candle during lockdown when our clergy{ or sometimes a layperson} would say Evening Prayer online.
In Holy Baptism, the priest lights a small white candle from the large Christ candle, and gives it to either the newly baptized person or their parent/Godparent of the person if they are too young to understand about fire.
In the _Godly Play_ story on Baptism, the storyteller lights a Christ candle, and then we light a candle for each person in the circle. Then the storyteller says how this light changes. It doesn't go away, but it changes. " Then the storyteller gently presses a snuffer until the flame turns into smoke.
" Now, instead if being confined to one space, the Light goes out into this room, out of this building, and all over the world. the Light did not go away, it has changed. "
As I face the loss of someone I love, I am both comforted and still somehow saddened by this imagery of the candle light. My friend, for as long as I've known her, has always reflected Christ's Light in her own Baptismal Light. One of the best pieces of advice that she's given me occurred when I was dealing with some serious mental health and issues wit relating to other people. She said once, in a firm but loving way :
"Sarah, the best cure for sadness is to help someone else. Fast. "
At the time she offered that advice, I was way too spiritually immature to understand that we humans can, and should channel all our " big" feelings into making the world, or at least our community better for others.
She lived her professional and personal life as one of the best examples of carrying Crist's Light within her than almost anyone else I know. She is far from perfect, but the person I cherish is one who let that Christ Light within her guide her.
Her Earthly Light is flickering, but its still visible.
When I light the candle that I set aside for her, I pray that the Peace of Creator Mother God will envelope her and that she knows how much she is loved. I'm finding right now that words fail me when it comes to trying to tell this person how much she means to me as a teacher/mentor and friend. But maybe, lighting that candle will shine some of my Light onto her, since we are all " marked as Christ's own" via our baptism.
God knows her name, and its not my place to share details.
I know she still wants me to carry my Christ light into the world, and now I understand what that work means.
In Light , Love, and Liberation....
Sarah McCarren
August 16 2021
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