My Complicated Relationship with Masking

                               Me at Pensacola Pier standing by a big cargo ship. Photo by Brian 

On Sunday, Christians everywhere will celebrate Pentecost-- the " birthday" of the Christian Church. 

Last year, my faith family carefully gathered together on the church lawn for our first in-person worship service in months. masked and distanced, we gathered together on the lawn for an abbreviated " ante-communion" { before Communion} worship experience. 

We only saw each other's eyes, and touching was not permitted. It was both weird and yet somehow normal. 

One year later the restrictions for safe in-person gatherings of all sorts are being lifted for we vaccinated people. 

I feel both joy & a good chunk of uncertainty regarding the new CDC guidelines. 

Of course I am waiting for the day when we will publicly burn all face-coverings in a huge bonfire. Seeing people sans their nose and mouth is creepy as heck--yet now so common. 

To be honest, I do not feel totally " dressed" in public without a mask. Being with people I know are vaccinated allows me to unmask with confidence-- I do not associate in -person with unvaccinated people. 

Based on the behavior of many people in Northwest Florida regarding masking and getting the vaccine, I still feel a need to hide behind the dreadful mask. This pandemic has shown me how selfish many Americans are--- and it sucks. Tending to others' well-being and safety has been politicized, and since so many still refuse to care for others by rolling up their sleeves, I don't feel safe in the general { nonvaccinated Northwest Florida} public with an uncovered face. 

It saddens and angers me that I-- and most people I know and love-- have all done our part to ensure safety for many. Its been a long, slow, painful fifteen months of weirdness-- weirdness from which I would love to shed the damn masks. Honestly, I don't know when I'll feel safe in stores or other public buildings without a face covering. I'm fully-vaccinated { and had to go through quite the run-around in order to schedule my shots!} but I do not want to get sick nor make someone else sick. 

People, just line up and get the vaccines. 

I want to burn the stupid masks. 

I-- and almost everyone I know-- did the good, patriotic duty of vaccination. 

Until then, I'm the masked woman. 

Sarah McCarren

Pentecost 2021