As a mid-distance runner in high school, I was trained for endurance. I might not have been the swiftest runner on the Edison High School girls' track team, but I earned points for endurance.
As a matter of fact, the practicing for running for ' the long haul' is a good metaphor for my life. I worked through college , pacing myself at my own speed. The same applies to finding my spouse: I married my best friend.
I 'endure well. After all, I survived three weeks bedridden at Children's Hospital in Pittsburgh for scoliosis correction surgery. After that, I spent ten months in a rigid back brace as the fused bone material healed.
I can deal with tough shit. After all, I am a Scoliosis Warrior.
However, the fact of this week marking one year since we have officially been in Pandemic Life is not lost on me. I remember where I was and how I felt as a trusted doctor-friend explained to our congregation what the novel coronavirus is and what steps we can take to stay safe. At first, we'd naively hoped that the shutdown would be ' only for a couple of weeks--- maybe a month at the most'. Okay, I told myself, I can handle any crisis or upheaval of life on a short-term basis.
. I watched with dismay as the Florida shutdown lingered for weeks. As weeks morphed into months, I began to know if people who caught the virus. { thankfully no one in my immediate contact circle has died, but several people I know & love caught COVID.}
" Zooming" became a tool that was useful and fun initially but became a burdensome chore as months of social isolation continued. The longer the pandemic dragged, the less patience I had to endure Zooming. I'd leave from a Zoom call feeling much more emotionally depleted than I went into the interaction.
As part of coping with the isolation, Brian and i found a safe refuge at a park in Gulf Breeze. We'd drive over the bridge in the morning and I would say my morning prayers on the kayak. Nature caught me in Her warm embrace during the Summer of Isolation.
In September, Hurricane Sally made an unwanted and very unexpected visit to Pensacola and South Alabama. While Brian and I did not receive much damage from this unwanted guest-- many others were not so blessed. However, a wayward barge damaged the Three-Mile Bridge , rendering it unsafe. The bridge closure altered the Pandemic Life of people on both sides of Pensacola Bay.
As a lifelong friend reminded me online yesterday, I am not a quitter. My faith tells me that better tomorrows are coming, and evidence points to that reality. Honestly, this progress has been slower than anything I've experienced in my 40-plus years of life. Over half a million Americans are dead from the pandemic, and countless others are suffering economic hardships as a result of the necessary physical distancing.
I am NOT giving up, but 12 months after entering this " temporary season" , I am weary. My mind cannot comprehend people who violate clear instructions to WEAR A MASK OVER YOUR MOUTH & NOSE while inside buildings within the City Limits.
As much as I hate donning a mask, I do so --- not so much for my protection, but for the protection of others. I cannot comprehend the selfishness of people who still refuse to do something simple for the sake of public health. I wear glasses , and I totally understand the annoying fog that coats my glasses due to the masks over my nose. Its annoying, but I wear a mask.
Every day, I wake to hope that we are one tiny step closer to our post-pandemic life. I try to keep from dwelling on all that we've lost & look to the future when we can safely reengage. This reengagement, when it happens will be different-- and I am okay with whatever brings be back fully with my people.
But right now, I am pausing to say I'm tired, y'all. I am so damn tired. How long, how long?
Amen
~Sarah McCarren
2 March 2021
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