"... to LOVE, as to be Loved...."
It is the day before a HUGE Election Day and I am sitting at my desk trying my hardest to not " borrow trouble." I want to believe the best about the intents of my sister and fellow American voters, but 2016 still haunts me. I'm also feeling tension because Election 2020 has brought out the worst in people whom I love... family members whom, up until now I'd respected .
I love them, but I don't respect their opinions anymore. It is also hard that these people do not even acknowledge their bias against non-white people, their mysogyny and disdain for anyone who is " different."
I'm scheduled for an interview { via phone} this week with a representative from the Social Security Administration. While I'm certain { as certain as anyone can be these days} that my health insurance benefits won't end, this brings up yet another reason why I struggle to love others who would rather see people like me unable to afford our medications than to work together for a just nation.
I'm on two heavy drugs that are life-saving--- and I know that I am not the only American who depend on help to afford medication that keeps us alive. I don't discuss life with Bipolar 2 , because I've been steady { due to medication} for YEARS. My own struggle with mental illness & physical challenges hs made me more compassionate towards others who are " different" .
I'm just one of many who suffer from invisible medical conditions. I would not wish this on anyone. As Dr Spencer Reid on TV's _Criminal Minds_ once stated " I know what its like to be afraid of your own mind."
I do my best to " Love God . Love People" daily. I don't want to contribute further to the division. The lack of civility & compassion for others that the nation has seen in the past few years saddens me.. Responding with LOVE in a world filled with HATRED is hard.
I trust God . Sadly, I don't think I can trust most people anymore. I feel fragile, in spite of the medication. Feeling fragile sucks!
How can I LOVE people who refuse to understand that our faith demands that we take care of each other---- the widow, the orphan, the sick? How can I love people who go on " mission trips" to " evangelize the Africans" , while here at home rationalizing the culture of systemic racism? What about those who see the face of Christ i their own grandmother yet would deny the humanity of the elderly Black woman at the soup kitchen?
How?
~Sarah
Feast of All Souls 2020
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