No Matter Who Wins: We All Lose

 My " Worry Doll" on my home altar. There is not enough incense nor sage for me to rie my soul of the dread I feel at this " "Merica. " Photo by The Pensacola Hippie 

 The national Presidential election is still too close to call. I should be holding out on hope. Yet I am in despair. 

  No matter who wins the White House, America is broken. 

  Four years ago I made up my mind to be fair to the winner--- as much as I dislike him. Maybe his horrible personality hid a good leader. So, I gave him a chance to change my mind. 

   All he did over four years was to remind people who he is  and what sort of " America" he stands for. These past few years have seen racial & /ethnic /violence,  more people without basic needs due to a poor job market, increased tension between our nation and other world superpowers , climate change  and a world pandemic. 

  I've ceased speaking to some people I love because I cannot fathom why they openly support such a hate-filled platform. 

   And our leadership at the top has done nothing to curb these issues. Failure to act at the top allows for the less-intelligent of us to keep living in a fairyland-- one where " COVID is a hoax." Meanwhile, people die and others { such as myself & people I love}  are forced into a mere existence. To be honest, I don't know why I bother to exist anymore--- other than for my husband. Thanks to COVID, days run together into one big COVID DAY. I'm not looking forward to the holidays-- pandemic life makes for unsafe travel. 

  Existing is hard, and it looks like hate is the new normal. 

  I've lost so much. Everyone has lost so much. But for what are we staying alive?

  Honestly, looking at the numbers coming in today--- seeing how complacent Americans are with " life" as we are forced to live now is scary. My faith is shaken.... how can a loving God allow for so many people to vote against human decency--- giving power to people who seek to rip apart the Constitution . 

   I'm afraid for myself. However, I m more afraid for my loved ones whose very loves & lives are at stake with this most recent Supreme Court appointment. As an American with Ashkenazi Jewish blood, it is etched in my cells the horror of the extermination of 6 million of my mother's people.  I'm afraid of what the future will be for my beautiful nephew & niece--- children with mixed heritage. 

  Black lives matter to me. 

  During the midterms, I tried to pro-actively fight the evil. I volunteered for a Congressional campaign for a person whom I felt really was qualified to lead in the change for a safer, saner society. She  lost the race to a Holocaust-denying, Proud-Boy keeping spoiled frat boy. She did earn 33 percent of the vote in this heavily red-leaning district, and I am proud of the team who worked so hard. 

  However, my experience with that campaign jaded me. The time I spent volunteering for that campaign is time for which I am grateful. I've met some wonderful, like-minded souls through that channel and for these people I am grateful. Thanks to that campaign, I no longer feel so isolated as a blue dot. From my volunteer campaign work, I've met some great people in the Pensacola area-- people whose Facebook posts fill me with hope by reminding me that I am not alone. 

  Frankly, I feel more of a kinship with those I met on the campaign trail two years ago than I do with some blood relatives. Sadly, I'm re-evaluating what " family" means to me & this is painful work. To me nd to so many others, this Presidential campaign is much bigger than ANY political party. I do not reject the Republican party--- I reject what it has become. It boggles my mind how the party of Abraham Lincoln morphed into the embodiment of racism and bigotry. I have nothing against THe Republican party. I do, however, hold a dislike for Donald Trump. He has brought out the worst in the people of this country. 

  No matter who wins the White House, we all lose. 

  My nation is broken, and I see no way of fixing it. Enough people clearly support bigotry. I cannot. I shall not. Love is in this messy mix somewhere. 

  May God help us all.......

  Sarah