Bitmoji of me cussing. Made by Ariana.
Dear Wonderful ,Earth-Maker, Pain-Bearer & Life-Sustainer....
I know You re here, even among the chaos that is Year of Our Lord 2020. But to be honest, I struggle daily to find Your Hand in the chaos that has marked this calendar year.
In January both my brother-in-law and sister-in-law died, leaving my husband feeling alone.
RIP brother Dennis and Poopy-Butt Jack Dog.
February was not ** too** terrible, I even convinced my home-body spouse to attend the Pensacola Mardi Gras Parade downtown, a first for both of us. Had I known what the rest of this year was bringing, I would have savored every second of " big crowds" .
March came in like a rabid lion and brought a deadly pandemic to our shores. This pandemic altered everyone's reality as we all retreated into our enclaves. Everything shut down for over two months, and " life" if one considers it life, moved literally online. beaches in Florida shut down, and no one could get their hair cut and/or styled.
During most times of national and international crisis, American have traditionally looked to our President--- regardless of political party -- for assurance. No so for this crisis--- unlike George W. Bush who managed to rise above the horror of the 9/11 attacks and lead our nation in unity-- the current occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue purposely distorted truth about the seriousness of this new virus. As a result of his irresponsibility, people refused to practice safety measures and the virus spread. This President had intel that could have saved lives, but he chose to keep it top-secret and encouraged people to ' live life normally'.
The war between those of us who want to keep the virus from spreading and others who believe that their individual " freedoms" are more important than the survival of other people. Even now, some people refuse to cover their faces: knowingly putting their so-called " rights" above caring for their human siblings. What is even more hurtful is that many of these Unmaskers consider themselves as people of faith. Maybe I am wrong, but especially we Christians are called to follow Jesus' example of putting others before self? I don't like wearing masks, but I comply so to keep myself and others safe.
Florida, my state, has a Governor who chooses to listen to the President than listen to scientists' facts and the desires of the People of Florida. Our Governor INSISTED on re-opening schools , which we now see is causing a statewide spike in COVID cases .
It has been months of ongoing weirdness, made even worse by the wildfires in the western part of the USA and the fact that it is Named Storm Season for another four or five weeks. Someone wiser than me advises me to not " borrow trouble" by worrying about what will happen & her advice has been sound.
However, this year just keeps throwing more shit to me and everyone else I love, and I am weary of living in a perpetual state of anxiety. I do my best to " observe and not absorb" all the news. Most of the time I succeed at keeping my sanity, but there are some days when I wonder if its worth the fight?
My 90-year old grandmother is at the end of her Earthly journey---and all I can do from Florida is pray for her to pass peacefully and painlessly. COVID robbed my family of a chance to celebrate Grandma's 90 years on Earth and it looks like we will be robbed of the chance to formally celebrate a life well-lived.
On some days, I feel like I am merely existing--- not living. Restrictions due to the spread of the virus have made human touch { even handshakes} prohibited. Funerals are done online as to keep too many people from gathering together at once . Weddings and birthday parties are tiny affairs-- or postponed until *** after COVID***
By the way, when is after COVID? No one really can answer that question. Whom can we trust in this dystopian world? Today during online Noonday Prayers, the Psalm that we prayed together went like this " :
I lift my eyes to the hills
from where is my help to come?
My help comes from the LORD...
This pandemic has shown me that people in power cannot be trusted to act in the best interests of everyone. After the tragedies on September 11, 2001, our country UNITED as Americans-- regardless of age, ability, sexual orientation or even political party affiliation. My hope & prayer is that we somehow come together as humans.
In order to do my best to help reach this goal, I usually refrain from " talking politics" -- either in person or online. Yet it has come to the point in this disaster where it is a moral issue for me A public heath crisis should not be politicized -- yet those who are against mask-wearing and insist that the virus " isn't too bad" are dividing us when we should be united against the common , invisible enemy of COVID.
I'm weary of keeping the peace by remaining silent regarding what I see happening to my state and nation.
This pandemic has brought out the worst in people: I continually remind myself to seek out the GOOD in others among this ugliness.
Creator of the Universe, thank You for al the good humans I know. Help me to find some patience as a vaccine is developed. Protect people I love from getting sick.
Amen.
~Sarah
10 September 2020
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