Sarah's " Mourner's Self-Care Manifesto "

 Right now I am reading a book called _ Its OK That  You're NOT OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture that Doesn't Understand_  by Megan Devine. 

  The author has activities and writing prompts at the end of each chapter. One of them is to create a " Self Care Manifesto" and post it online , or somewhere where you will see it daily.  I am still in the early stages of grief after my friend's death and today was hard. Her obituary appeared again in the print version of the local paper. I requested a copy from my parents, who are among the few I know who still take the daily PAPER newspaper. As much as I needed that tangible item, it brought back the fact that she's really dead-- that I won't see her until its my time to enter The Next Life.

  Anyway let me begin 

  I SHALL...

Eat three meals a day--- and do my best to pack my body full of fresh fruits, veggies and yogurt{ aids in digestion. }

Write daily. Writing helps to " center " my brain and reminds me that there is much good in this crazy world. 

Spend as much time out-of-doors as possible. It is in Nature that I first encountered The Divine that eventually led to me becoming a Christian. I shall take time to use more than just my eyes and ears, to REALLY experience Nature in a tactile and olfactory way as well. 

Talk about  "Doc". I have over 20 years of stories and I am a verbal processor.  

Spend quality time with my spouse. 

Go to church, and spend some non-worship time with members of my faith community. 

 I SHALL NOT...

Force myself to engage in small talk. Silence is golden for me right now. 

Force myself to attend any social function if -- at the last hour-- I need time and space. 

If I attend a social function, I reserve the right to be quiet or to step away from the group for a few minutes. 

Engage in other people's drama. Life is way too damn short for that nonsense. { and this also includes social media drama. } 

Feel guilty for eating ice cream for a meal. Healthy food is my main goal, but sometimes, all a woman needs is ice cream. 

Until Doc's funeral I will be intentional about these practices. Grief over losing a loved one is natural, and deserves to heal naturally. Please don't tell me to " get over it" as Doc was more than my college choir conductor. She was my friend.. and a damn good one. 

My early grief is real, and deserves some boundaries. 

Thanks for understanding. I love y'all . 

~Sarah McCarren