Message on A Rock during COVIDLIFE

A painted #GulfBreezerock that I found today at the park as I picked up trash.  Photo by The Pensacola Hippie . 

Brian and I spent a couple hours of our Friday at the park. It was too windy to kayak, so I put in a few steps on my Fitbit while picking up litter { yes, I am always safe-- I use grabbers -- NOT my hands when I clean the beach.} I find cleaning the beach " centering, my body & mind get into a rhythm and I feel myself " letting go" of whatever mind trash I'm carrying. { and , what with Pandemic Life, we all carry too much mind trash}

Anyway , at the end of my trash route I spotted an object that looked like some plastic. Using my grabbers, I carefully brought the object to eye-level for a better view. 

The artist clearly took some time with this rock: first giving it an undercoat of white paint before making careful pen strokes on the flattest side of the rock. On the back they wrote this message: 

Opposite side of #GulfBreezerock. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie . 

I am KEEPING this beauty--- it appeared this morning as some sort of message from God. It has been an exceptionally hard week for me. The rain only escalated the COVID-weariness that has taken residence in my psyche since March. In spite of my strong medication I've been fighting a dangerous depressive episode all week. It did not help matters that this pas week was supposed to be my week up North with life-long family & friends. 

I feel alone often--- I'm not gonna lie. Now my rational brain KNOWS that I'm not alone { after all I have a spouse whom I love } . Yet this physically-distant lifestyle is NOT NORMAL-- and lately has seemed to have no end in sight.  As much as I understand intellectually why life must carry on in this unnatural way in order to keep people healthy, I hate it. At the beginning I was okay with ZOOM -- it was not ideal but novel and therefore interesting.  Months later-- I'd dance with happiness if ZOOM was no longer needed. I discovered that I am an in-person learner, meeting attender and worshipper. Now, when I log onto Zoom from any device I feel separate by the device screen.  :( Right now  I am at the point where I'd rather have a phone conversation with someone rather than feel that screen barrier between me and another person. 

Interesting that the rock I found today has the message "...you are not alone..." at this time in my life. I am reminded that-- as isolated as COVIDLIFE has me feeling, my perception is not my reality. However-- I do not understand why I feel so alone--- I live with a wonderful person, see my parents regularly { no touching } & able to see other people in person for church { starting on Sunday} and a few other carefully-chosen occasions. 

 

It is true-- I AM NOT ALONE. 

Yet somehow I need to remind myself of this fact every day . 

Amen

~Sarah