Message on A Rock during COVIDLIFE

A painted #GulfBreezerock that I found today at the park as I picked up trash.  Photo by The Pensacola Hippie . 

Brian and I spent a couple hours of our Friday at the park. It was too windy to kayak, so I put in a few steps on my Fitbit while picking up litter { yes, I am always safe-- I use grabbers -- NOT my hands when I clean the beach.} I find cleaning the beach " centering, my body & mind get into a rhythm and I feel myself " letting go" of whatever mind trash I'm carrying. { and , what with Pandemic Life, we all carry too much mind trash}

Anyway , at the end of my trash route I spotted an object that looked like some plastic. Using my grabbers, I carefully brought the object to eye-level for a better view. 

The artist clearly took some time with this rock: first giving it an undercoat of white paint before making careful pen strokes on the flattest side of the rock. On the back they wrote this message: 

Opposite side of #GulfBreezerock. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie . 

I am KEEPING this beauty--- it appeared this morning as some sort of message from God. It has been an exceptionally hard week for me. The rain only escalated the COVID-weariness that has taken residence in my psyche since March. In spite of my strong medication I've been fighting a dangerous depressive episode all week. It did not help matters that this pas week was supposed to be my week up North with life-long family & friends. 

I feel alone often--- I'm not gonna lie. Now my rational brain KNOWS that I'm not alone { after all I have a spouse whom I love } . Yet this physically-distant lifestyle is NOT NORMAL-- and lately has seemed to have no end in sight.  As much as I understand intellectually why life must carry on in this unnatural way in order to keep people healthy, I hate it. At the beginning I was okay with ZOOM -- it was not ideal but novel and therefore interesting.  Months later-- I'd dance with happiness if ZOOM was no longer needed. I discovered that I am an in-person learner, meeting attender and worshipper. Now, when I log onto Zoom from any device I feel separate by the device screen.  :( Right now  I am at the point where I'd rather have a phone conversation with someone rather than feel that screen barrier between me and another person. 

Interesting that the rock I found today has the message "...you are not alone..." at this time in my life. I am reminded that-- as isolated as COVIDLIFE has me feeling, my perception is not my reality. However-- I do not understand why I feel so alone--- I live with a wonderful person, see my parents regularly { no touching } & able to see other people in person for church { starting on Sunday} and a few other carefully-chosen occasions. 

 

It is true-- I AM NOT ALONE. 

Yet somehow I need to remind myself of this fact every day . 

Amen

~Sarah 

Philadelphia 11 And Brigid of Ireland

St Brigid of Ireland. Abbess, Priest { though not recognized by the Roman Catholic Church as such} and allegedly a bishop! Today I am grateful for ALL the " Brigids " in my life. Original artwork By Sarah Beth McCarren entitled " Brigid: Priest"

Today is a special day. On this day ,the traditional Feast Day of Mary & Martha of Bethany, eleven brave women were " irregularly ordained " to the priesthood in 1974. 

Today, in honor of these brave women who defied their bishops and sought to fulfill God-given calls to ordained life, I recall St Brigid of Kildare, Ireland. She's known as being both abbess and PRIEST { although the Roman Catholic Church still refuses to even entertain the idea of women clergy. 

Brigid, the daughter of a Christian mother and a Druid chieftain father,, grew to bridge the gap between the Irish Druids and this " new religion" of Christ's Way Of Love. Although St Patrick {a  man} is the person in history who is credited with bringing Christianity to Druid Ireland, It is Brigid-- a daughter of two separate worlds who is really responsible for converting most of Ireland to Christianity. St Patrick was British, and therefore did not possess the innate knowledge of Druid ways as did Brigid. Brigid understood her people, and with that knowledge, built her community at Kildare . 

I recall St Brigid today because she was not afraid to break some barriers in order to fulfill her vocation from God. Much to her father's frustration, Brigid refused to marry. I'm mindful today that the Church Universal, as well as my own life , benefit from the bravery of eleven women who could not let God's  call to them stay unfulfilled. I've known and loved several outstanding clergy who happen to be women and am grateful for their faithful servant-leadership. 

Today, the 46th anniversary of these women, is important to me because I'd never understood some people's aversion to women as clergy. Throughout much of my growing-up years-- my biggest issue with the Roman Catholic Church is refusal to see people of my gender as potential priests in God's Universal Church.  It was not until I was in my thirties and living in Florida that I met my first " "womanpriest".  I remember walking into that little coastal parish and seeing --- for the first time-- someone of my gender celebrate Mass.   Tears of joy welled in my eyes as I received Communion from Betsy+s hands.  

Up until that morning, I'd never felt worthy enough to receive Communion--  due to my " mixed blood"-- Irish Catholic and Ashkenazi Jewish. Like St Brigid, I am the daughter of a mixed union who could not accept the rules that the Roman Catholic Church wants women to follow. There was so much Roman doctrine that did not sit well with me-- as much as I'd wanted to receive Communion, the Roman Church insisted that I -- a strong-willed, woman--- was not welcome as God made me.. 

God created people of different genders. Therefore , no human-made rule should keep people who are truly called from ordination based on gender { or sexuality} Of course I know many fine priests who are men. Yet it is the women clergy who know that they had to wait centuries for their calling to become valid-- and in the Orthodox & Roman Catholic tradition are still not valid.  

I'm forever grateful to the brave women who were ordained on this day back in 1974-- for the ordained ministries of so many other women benefit from the struggles of these pioneers. 

In the Name of the Holy Three...

Sarah

Feast of St Mary & Martha of Bethany 

Commemoration of the Philadelphia 11. 

29 July 2020

How can WE " Carry Christ" in this time of pandemic?

My Happy Place during this stay-at-home summer... Photo by The Pensacola Hippie. 

This past weekend the Church Universal celebrated the Feast of St Christopher, the saint for whom my parish is named. As part of our observance, the legend surrounding this saint was told in our virtual Children's Formation. 

Look it up online. 

Anyway, at the end of the story, the storyteller asked " How can WE be " Christophers" -- carry Christ here and now?

 

How can we carry Him-- while remaining physically distant from one another? This time has been a challenge for those of us who do our best to live out our Baptismal Promise by becoming vessels which carry Christ into our communities.  The safety measures in this age of COVID have forced many of us to suspend indefinitely ministries that are near to our hearts. Health regulations have many of us stuck at home, and agencies that serve our most vulnerable citizens, such a feeding programs for children & homeless people cannot operate safely. 

This is unfortunate, but right now saving lives and getting the number of new COVID cases down is of upmost importance. 

So, how CAN we carry Christ's message of hope healing and hospitality to others. 

First of all: we can " Check in" with those in our midst who live alone. This pandemic has people who live lone but who are usually engaged in their community isolated. 

Those of us who are child-free can offer to virtually tutor the children whose parents lament that their child struggles with reading , writing or math { Just don't ask me to tutor in math--- I'm dyscalculic }

Offer to pick up groceries for a neighbor who is housebound due to the threat of the pandemic. 

Cook a meal, or bake a treat for someone and leave it on their doorstep. 

This is not an easy time for anyone--- and the more we can do to bring the Light of Christ to others -- the more " fully alive" we can be. COVID can not and shall not take away our mission: To be vessels that carry Christ into our world. 

Amen. 

Sarah 

More " Good Trouble"

Graphic create on a " Cricut" by my friend, Viv. 

Brian an I took a chance today { it could have been a yucky summer morning of rain} and drove over to the park for me to take " Good Trouble" out on the water. I got a full hour of paddling done before the wind picked up and I knew I'd need to put the boat away until another time.  I'll probably wake up with sore shoulders tomorrow-- as I had to really lean into the wind as I paddled against gusts moving across the bay. 

Since the pandemic keeps me home from the gym, I've discovered that kayaking is much more fun than free weights. I'm thin { Mom calls me a " pencil person"} and adding muscle to my upper body has always been a challenge. To be honest, I'm not much of a gym rat-- I much prefer getting my workouts out-of-doors. Pre-COVID, I would only head to the gym on days when I absolutely could not do my powerwalking. 

It was a quiet morning. One of the highlights for me was getting close to a tree where an osprey perched. From my vantage point on the water, I saw the pretty patterns of the bird's feathers. It looked at me and I returned the stare,  trying my best to mimic as closely as possible its call. Brian and I have been following this osprey nest since springtime, and it is always a joy to see what are avian friends are doing when we visit them. I like to think that they know us as well as we know them. 

In this surreal time in history, I am grateful that I have a place where I can go to re-connect with The Divine, as well as my true self. Out on the water, I am free of the concerns that plague my mind on land. My total immersion in Nature by way of the kayak is the perfect healthy, legal escape from  a pandemic that threatens my mental stability. The policies of our incompetent elected federal and state officials cannot reach me here. 

On the water, I can literally feel the presence of God surrounding me. Especially now, with life continuing by way of screen time, my soul soaks in the fresh air, soft sand and cool water. My ears perk up to hear birds call and fish jump. I'm alone out on the kayak, and relish my solo time { in spite of  the extroverted feeling function of my personality, I am a true introvert who is " recharged " by alone time.  As a matter of fact, one reason that kayaking appeals to me is its solo nature-- I am alone in the boat & can chart my own course. I find myself pacing my breathing to the rhythm of my paddling-- almost like a form of yoga. 

I thanks the Earth-maker for every day I am given to spend on the water. 

Amen. 

~Sarah

Feast Of Mary Magdalene 2020

Maiden Voyage on " Good Trouble"

Photo By The Pensacola Hippie

I took the new-to-me kayak whom I named _Good Trouble_ for her maiden voyage this morning. I'd acquired the kayak from my mom, who hasn't used it in over a decade. Brian and I spend a lot of time at the bay , and I've always wanted a kayak. For me, spending time on the water is as close to God as I can get-- and the ONLY way that I feel " whole' during this dystopian nightmare of a pandemic. 

These past three weeks have been hard on me. As the pandemic drags on I've felt further from my spiritual " center"--- finding that spiritual practice which have sustained me during the first four months of Pandemic Life now leave me empty. 

I am weary of Zoom Life. Maybe this two-dimensional connection is enough for some people, but my soul is engineered for life in three dimension.  On the water-- I connect with the Earth-maker and center myself. All of my senses are involved- it feels so good to feel the  sand on my feet, water on my skin, hear the birds sing, and see the beauty of Creation all around me. I smell the salt air and listen carefully to the mullet jump around me. 

I am totally present with Creator and Creation. Out on the water, I feel my shoulder and arm muscles burn calories as I propel myself across the water. There are no people within ten feet of me at any given time, and I relax. 

For a solid hour and fifteen minutes, I forget that I am living through a horrible pandemic : one that is keeping me physically-distant from nearly everyone I love. I forget that I'm not able to celebrate my Grandmother's 90th birthday this weekend in Pittsburgh-- due to the risk of airline travel. 

As a matter of fact, I forget { temporarily} that we see no end to this pandemic-- with our state and national leaders not showing any initiative to help cases go down by mandating protective gear. 

Its me, Earth-Maker, and the things of Nature. 

I feel safe. 

I've always been drawn to salt water-- for me that element has a healing property that I cannot explain logically. I like to think that my affinity for water is due-- at least in part- to my ancestors farming Torry Island-- off the coast of Ireland. As much as the big woods of the Appalachians call me,  salt water here  of the coast of Northwest Florida is a stronger call. 

I wasn't made to sit inside , on land, and in artificial light. Today's morning kayak trip brought me back to my " center": and reminded me of who God made me to be 

In the Name of the Earth-Maker Pain -Bearer & Life Sustainer.... Amen. 

~Sarah 

Open Letter to That Internet Bully {we all have one}

So, you wanna debate Constitutional Law? 

Dear Internet Bully.... or should I call you " Troll"? 

No matter what I call you, I am writing this to let you know that you no longer live rent-free in my Internet space nor my head. 

You are Unfriended. I know that we are acquaintances in Real Life, and that our opinions are polar opposites. Normally I do not have problems with people who think differently than me: some people I care about very much are surely not liberal. I welcome ideas, and to prove it I let you continue to bully both me  and others on my page for too long.  While I do not wish to live in an echo chamber, I also will not let anyone be condescending to me on my social media. 

 I tried to ignore your snide, childish comments on my social media posts-- after all-- Mom always said the best way to defeat a bully is to ignore them. 

However, ignoring you only seemed to fuel your fire.  I am not going to waste time trying to ascertain what I did to make you so abusive to me online--- I've never tried to pick an Internet fight with you. { and believe me, I could have done worse to you than you did to me}  You fight from behind a screen with words, and -dear Bully-- words are what I do. If I chose, I could take down every weak opinion that you pontificated on my social media-- but that would be lowering myself to your level. 

Why not just tell me that you disagree with me without getting sarcastic, and starting arguments on my page with other people?  I made it clear from the beginning that I did not want to take your 'bait" , but you persisted. 

Today I decided that I am done with trying to play nicely. I clicked the " unfriend" button and away went your ability to get inside my head.  Life is short & I don't need anymore negative forces right now. 

I don't hate you--I do feel sorry for you. As a matter of fact, I wish you well in your endeavors.  However, I respect myself enough to no longer tolerate your verbal barbs directed at me via social media. 

Peace out and God Bless...

~Sarah 

#WhoAreYou? Sower, Seed, or Soil during the Pandemic

Tiny sprout of a tree in our yard. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie. 

Sunday's lectionary has us looking at the Parable of the Sower. This story, like most parables, invites the hearer to contemplate which " actor" in the parable we feel that best illustrates our current walk with God. 

I am sure that COVID has changed many people's perspectives on, well---everything. 

I feel like I am the good seed that is struggling to grow in the rocky soil. Living this Covid lifestyle has me feeling stifled and strangled. Each time hope tries to take root, more people get sick and pandemic life lingers. 

I try my best to reach towards the sun { Son= Jesus} but am overshadowed by the darkness of the pandemic. I am someone who thrives in community and keeping safe from the virus has me shutting down emotionally & spiritually  . Practices that fed my soul during the early days of this pandemic now leave me empty. For instance the novelty of Zoom has worn out its welcome. Every time I sign on to the videoconferencing platform, I am reminded of the soul food that I've been denied during this time of isolation & physical distancing from others. I know I should feel grateful that Zoom is available, and to  certain extent I am  grateful, but this two-dimensional existence that we are forced to live right now is crushing. 

I do it { stay isolated} to keep others & myself well and I will continue to do so. Yet , like that seed in the rocky soil, I lack room to " take root" and " reach towards the  sun". 

I'm stuck, along with everyone else. 

Like that seed in the rocky soil, this pandemic has me dormant. My creativity has suffered  due to this pandemic, since I can't reach for the sun & grow, I am not producing " fruit" by way of my writing and art. My Muse hasn't been hanging around, and as a writer I am used to words flowing freely.. The rocky soil of Pandemic life has left my word-well nearly dry. 

I don't know when this pandemic will end, and that lack of knowledge only adds to my feeling like a seed stuck in rocky soil. I can't look forward to growth  when everything about humans being " fully alive { and in community} is suspended. 

Wear the mask, so all of us can look forward to a future of  full lives again. 

Amen. 

~Sarah

How Many More?

Angry Bitmoji of me, made by my best & longest friend, Ariana. 

I'm tired.  

I'm angry. 

How many more? 

Tired of wiping down every surface I touch in stores, public bathrooms, parks, and other public places. 

I'm tired of going to bed each night knowing that state & federal officials refuse to step up and help stop this virus' spread. 

I'm tired of  worshipping online because people are afraid to gather together . In -person church & parish activities are some of the biggest joys in my life, and COVID has robbed many of us of those opportunities to be together for worship, study and service 

I'm tired of staying in Pensacola for yet another summer because travel on airplanes is too dangerous & Pittsburgh is too far to drive for a week's vacation. My Grandmother turns 90 years old in two weeks: I was supposed to be in Pittsburgh for her HUGE party. 

I'm tired of not being able to hug anyone but my spouse. As much as I love Brian: Touch is one of my " love languages" and to be denied it for so long is wearing on me. I can't even hug my own parents. This is not natural for me and I am tired off pretending that it IS natural. 

Regarding wearing masks: I am tired of people who refuse to just do it. No matter what anyone might think of me, I am NOT a fan of " big government" . But since people in Florida and other states have proven themselves incapable of doing what is right for everyone, I know it is necessary for mask mandates. I am tired of people calling me names on social media, and telling me that I have " control issues" because I want this virus to slow down . 

I'm tired of seeing cases climb in Florida , especially in my own county.  People I know and love are doing our parts to keep each other safe, but there are still some people who believe that :

A: This virus in a " hoax". 

B. That their selfish  need to exert their " freedoms" outweighs the need to be a decent person and wear a mask. Listen to the science, please! 

THIS IS  NOT A CONSPIRACY  . It angers me to see that some people still choose to believe that this is something cooked up by  radicals. People are dying and others are weary of this life that the virus forces us to lead. 

How many more must die before people WAKE UP ? 

How many more? 

~Sarah

4 July Thoughts

Me prepping to paddle on the Lake with a lifelong friend. 2012 

Today is the day that we Americans recognize our independence from England. While I am grateful to be an American, and appreciate the freedoms I've enjoyed as a White person, today has me reflecting on what it means to be " free". 

I'm concerned that the recent heavy increase of the COVID19 virus is partly the fault of people who misconstrue the " freedom" that we enjoy as Americans. I'm grateful t see some local and state governments step up and put in place precautionary measures that ensure that all people within the state { or in our case, City} are free from catching a deadly virus--- and free from passing that virus to others. 

We do have freedom to make choices, but during times of crisis--- sometimes choices must be made on our behalf to protect everyone So, wear the darn mask! 

I wear one for you. Please wear one for me. 

Today I am also thinking about our Black & Brown neighbors, as well as the First Nations people. How , as a White American, today has a different meaning for me than it doe for Black & indigenous people. I'm aware that today marks our nation's break from the English throne-- and that break was necessary!  At the same time, I'm mindful that the ancestors of Black people were still enslaved. 

Don't misunderstand me, I am NOT saying that history needs to be erased. Rather, I suggest that what we are taught about our nations founding and growth include the stories of Black and Indigenous persons . 

I do love this nation, and because of my love for her, I want her to be her best. It is because I love my nation that I want the stories  of ALL her people to be told. There is room for everyone in the narrative, and we White people just need to move over and make room for additions to our national story. 

Perhaps the best way that we can honor our great nation is to 

1. Put on the face masks to protect everyone's freedom. 

2. Put aside our White privilege nd make room for the stories of other Americans -- those who don't look or pray like us. 

May we ALL work together to make our beloved nation truly great! 

In the Name of the Holy Three-in-One....

~Sarah

Review: Anne Frank: Paraellel Stories

I may look as Celtic-American as we come, but half my genes are Ashkenazi Jewish. 

Blonde hair, blue eyes, pale skin, small nose.  Still 50 percent Ashkenazi Jewish. Their story is my story: the horrors of the Hitler Regime are branded in my DNA. Photos by Brian L.

Last night I viewed a new documentary on Netflix entitled Anne Frank: Parallel Stories. This well-done, beautiful yet haunting film shares with viewers the stories of several women who survived the Holocaust. At the time the subjects of this film were arrested & imprisoned by Nazis for the " crime" of being Jewish, they were around the age of Anne Frank. 

These women are survivors of one of the most evil crimes against humanity. Somehow, they endured the horrors they suffered at the hands of the Nazis and grew up to marry and produce children. One woman's grandson is interviewed, and he explains why he has his grandmother's ID number from the camp tattooed on his own forearm 

The movie, although painful at times to watch, reminds me of why I am called to work for racial equity for our Black neighbors. While the stories of Black Americans and Americans with Jewish DNA { I'm Christian , but my DNA  of my Mom's side of my family is Ashkenazi} differ greatly, all hateful acts against " others" or people " not like us" { German or White Anglo-Saxon Protestants} 

Clearly someone with my coloring has no clue what Black people face daily-- or what Black people have faced in the past four centuries. But, in spite of my " Aryan"{ and I really despise that term} features & Christian religion, I am of Jewish descent. 

In this documentary, one woman talked about how her entire family was arrested for the " crime" of  a " mixed race" family.  Nazis did not consider Jews as White { Ridiculous, no?} I am the daughter of an interfaith/ multiethnic parents. Had we { my parents, my younger brother and myself} been a family in Europe during this reign of terror we would have been deported . 

Pure accident of time & place of birth saved my family from the Nazis. 

People who, through another accident of birth, are not part of a minority ethnic group or darker skin color can learn much about how easy it is for one person or ideology to quickly become a means for a murderous rampage of " others". 

Just look to our own history with Black and First Nations people, What was done to the European Jews by Hitler and the Nazis was also done to First Nations tribes in our own nation. I'm really not at liberty to speak for Native Americans, but my own experience with my own minority status is part of why I have been active in racial reconciliation in my own community. 

I, along with other Americas of Jewish heritage, carry our own collective stories of cruelty at the hands of a ruling class in Europe. The Holocaust is real, and the stories of the survivors is woven into my very DNA. It is a big reason that drives me to work for peace, reconciliation  & understanding of the plight of Black and Brown Americans. 

It is my opinion that anyone who is interested in racial reconciliation work view this film. these women 's stories will show anyone not familiar with the horrors of the Holocaust exactly how depraved humans can act. 

Proudly " Mixed" , 

~Sarah

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished In Florida

Paradise can be a haven for germs. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie

Yesterday was NOT a good day for me. In addition to finding out that my almost 90-year-old Grandmother isn't doing well at all--I had to deal with the drama from the Unmaskers. 

Milton, a city in the next county over, rescinded their mask-wearing mandate in reaction to some bellyaching by locals. Then, due to some of the same bellyaching over here in Pensacola, the City Council had a call-in meeting to listen to residents' concerns" over wearing masks. While I don't think the meeting was quite the circus as was the Palm Beach County Commission meeting, I know Northwest Florida well enough to be sure that there was a bit of a rumble from Unmaskers. 

But in the end, City Council voted to do the right thing for ALL of Pensacola. 

Thank you! 

Unmaskers really get on my nerves. Since this pandemic started, Brian and I-- along with people we know and love-- have given up so much to stop the spread of Covid.  Frankly, I am tired of living in a touch-free bubble -- especially when this could have been contained had people WORN THEIR MASKS and stayed away from forming large groups. 

Maybe you are content with living life online, but I am not.  Due to the continued spread from NOT masking, I still cannot hug my FATHER-- let alone anyone else in my circle. Physical touch is one of my " love languages" & I've gone without so that we all may stay safe. 

Our Governor re-opened the state and people did not self-regulate. As a result, we are stuck living in a Covid Bubble for more weeks. 

Unmaskers-- I resent the hell out of you. I don't know who raised you-- but I was taught that " freedom" comes with responsibility towards other humans. Some of y'all had not been told " no" as a child nd it carries on into your life-- affecting MY life. I play by the rules of decency-- so why can't you? I wear masks in public to protect YOUR loved ones, so why can you not return the favor?  Why can you not feel "bothered" to cover your face in public---knowing full well that COVID carriers can be asymptomatic. 

Again, who raised you?

Mask-wearing= FREEDOM for all.

 I am grateful that, even after the criticism, that my City Council voted to stand up for all of Pensacola's citizens, but especially her more vulnerable citizens, such as my husband. 

I cannot afford to bring home COVID to Brian, so I limit my social contact accordingly. During the Black Lives Matter protests, there was nothing more I wanted than to join the BLM movement in town. But knowing that I could pick up the virus from a large crowd, kept me home. My love for someone else dictates that I do what is best for them and STAY HOME.  As much as I wanted to be out there every night-- I stayed in and protested online. 

Unmasking= FreeDUMB. 

I'm not sure, but Unmasksers are probably the same people who think that requiring bike helmets is " taking away my freedom" . I hate to tell you, but if you are flat on your back in a hospital bed-- there is no freedom there. 

As a spinal fusion surgery patient, I know how much freedom I lost for the 21days that I was a patient at Children's Hospital in Pittsburgh Scoliosis treatment --although not from any poor choices on my part-- gave me an understanding of what some car and bike accident victims face. Spinal surgery of any kind leaves a person weak, medically-fragile and totally dependent on other people. 

There is no freedom in catching COVID, either. 

I wear a mask because I don't want to catch the virus, However, I also wear a mask because I don't want to potentially infect anyone else. Existing flat on your back in a hospital bed sucks--- I don't want that for myself { again} or for anyone else. 

After months of dealing with Unmaskers, I feel like no good deed goes unpunished in Florida. 

Think about others...and then wear the mask. 

~Sarah