St Joan of Arc

 

     Acrylic on stretched canvas. " Warrior Saint"  original art by Sarah Beth McCarren 2021

Today is Trinity Sunday. While every clergyperson I know is doing their best to NOT preach heresy today, I am mindful that today is the day the Church honors St Joan of Arc. 

For many reasons, she is one of my favorite Badass Women Saints. 

Joan is known as the patron saint of:

France; martyrs; captives; military personnel; people ridiculed for their piety; prisoners; soldiers. 

She was martyred in 1431.

One of Joan's attributes that I admire much is her certainty of her vocation as a soldier.  In her time, women were absolutely NOT permitted to serve in the Armed Forces , but this little French shepherdess did not let that fact deter her from her purpose. She dressed in men's clothing, and went to battle alongside the French army. 

" When Joan traveled to Compičgne to help defend against an English and Burgundian siege, she was captured by Burgundian troops and held for a ransom of 10,000 livres  There were several attempts to free her and Joan made many escape attempts, including jumping from her 70-foot (21m) tower, landing on the soft earth of a dry moat, but to no avail. She was eventually sold to the English for 10,000 gold coins and was then tried as a heretic and witch in a trial that violated the legal process of the time. { Source https://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=295 }

While in prison, Joan wore men's clothing to deter her from assault by the other inmates. 

As a Christian woman who is, in many ways" unconventional", I look to St Joan for inspiration. The feminist movement has taken society further since her days , but there is still a lot of pressure for we female people to act/dress/work/love a certain way that is " acceptable " for women--- especially Christian women.  I browse our local bookstore;s Christian section and my eyes are met with titles like _ Power of a Praying Wife_ and _Biblical Womanhood_ These titles paint only one version of Christian womanhood: that of wife and mother. Where there is nothing wrong with the vocation of wife/motherhood,  there are many Christian women { and by woman I mean anyone whose gender identity is female and uses she/her/hers pronouns} Motherhood is important-- the survival of our species depends on mothers and children.  However, to insist that this is the only  role for Christ-following women is unfair and incomplete. 

Some of us are meant to be traditional women. I am NOT one of those who are so called. It took me a long time to cherish my own life's story and appreciate the ways that God * does* call me to nurture others. 

St Joan reminds me that there is room at Christ's table for all women-- including our trans sisters. 

There are,, and always have been women of faith like our sister St Joan of Arc. Those of us whom God chooses for vocations that don't lead to marrying men and procreating. I am married to a wonder spouse who happens to be a man and I wouldn't want to share my life with anyone else. However, I am a complete person apart from Brian. One of the blessings of waiting longer to marry for the first time is that my spouse met me as a fully formed adult with my own ideas, hobbies, life experiences, ect.  Our life together is built upon mutual respect-- a trait that none of my other relationships possessed.  Since our household includes a dog and a betta fish as dependents, both of us are free to pursue our interests. 

Thank you, Creator God, for our sister Joan. She inspires me daily to follow my own vocation as "prophet" { my bishop's word -- not mine} and activist. In the Name of the Holy Three. Amen. 

Sarah McCarren

30 May 2021

Pronouns Matter

 Hi, lovely humans. My name is Sarah. I am a human who identifies as female and my pronouns are " she, her & hers". 

Note that I said MY PRONOUNS-- rather than " my preferred pronouns" My pronouns reflect how I identify & show myself to the world. 

As a cisgender { someone whose gender assignment at birth matches their identifying gender} person, I realize that I carry with me privilege that my trans siblings do not have. The gender on my original birth certificate matches the one on my current government ID card. Furthermore, I present as very " feminine" -- people see me and do not question my gender. 

                                            Even with no makeup-- I present to the world as " female" 

June-- the month that is reserved for celebrating the lives, struggles and accomplishments of the LGBTQ+ community, is a great time for we cisgender humans to start using our pronouns.  Normalizing pronoun usage  shows solidarity to our transgender friends, including those people in our lives who identify as nonbinary or agender. 

If a person corrects you regarding their pronouns, simply apologize and vow to do better.  If you are cisgender, as I am, imagine how invisible you would feel if someone kept referring to you as the wrong gender-- especially after correcting them. 

For instance: I am not male. To insist on using male pronouns for me would be invalidating my existence. 

Social media makes it easy for people to normalize sharing pronouns. yesterday, I noticed that Instagram now added an optional feature to declare one's pronouns on our intro. I added she/her/hers. Additionally, I added my pronouns to my e-mail " signature" that is tagged at the bottom of every correspondence I send. 

As a cisgender person who presents very feminine , I do these things not so much for myself, but to show solidarity with trans people. 

It's easy to do, my lovelies.  After all, we ll have pronouns. 

Namaste...

Sarah McCarren

26 May 2021

 

One Year Later: Black Lives Still Matter

                               One year since the Floyd Murder.. and what have we learned? 

It has been one entire year since George Floyd was murdered by a cop. The man took his last breaths under the knee of a White cop while a cell phone camera captured him pleading for his life. 

We all saw it. 

Floyd's murderer was found GUILTY on all charges in a trial. 

However, this does not change the fact that Floyd's family and friends lost someone whom they love. It does not change the fact that many other families of Black and Brown people mourn the loss of their son/father/friend/boyfriend/husband/uncle/neighbor to aggression by cops.

George Floyd's story did shine a glaring light on the huge problems we have with both police brutality and racism. 

One year later-- and many White people still refuse to do the work we need to do to work towards antiracism. Too many White people think that the BLM movement is anti-police. While I can only speak for myself, I believe in the BLM movement because I've seen how police can and do treat our siblings-of-color differently than they do people with my skin tone. For me, BLM is not saying that police lives don't matter-- it is merely calling attention [ and demanding accountability} for how cops interact with apprehending people-of-color. 

The murder of George Floyd, and my response to it as a White person trying her best to work towards being antiracist has cost me friendships. I recall one friend in particular, whom I finally made the choice to unfriend and block on Facebook after his response to BLM. To be honest, my respect for him had been dwindling over the last few years-- but the line was crossed regarding BLM . In short-- I did not realize how racist this long-term friend had been until Floyd's murder illuminated the deep racial problems that lurked just below the surface of polite society. 

One year later and some policies did change. But how many hearts and minds have really woke to the problem? 

George Floyd mattered. 

Black lives sill matter. 

Sarah McCarren

25 May 2021
 

Stop Objectifying Female Bodies with Archaic Dress Codes!

 

                                                    We are covered up here because it is a damp autumn day in the Carolina Mountains and it is COVID. We are NOT covered-up because we think the human female form is " dirty" or " impure".  Photo by Brian. 

I read a disturbing story out of Jacksonville { Florida, once again, does not disappoint in the embarrassment contest. We take first place. }

 Apparently one high school yearbook advisor took it upon HERSELF to photoshop yearbook photos of girls whose clothing she deems " inappropriate".  

Damn women who work at eating away girls' confidence. 

For reference, here is the link to the story: 

Policing Girls' Clothing In FL

If you look at the photo of the young woman whose outfit is a representation of " inappropriate", you will see that it appears to be either a nice dress or slacks & blouse  with a cardigan. 

This is standard " business attire" in any professional setting. 

Policing women's and girls' clothing  must stop.  Such prudish dress codes do NOTHING to keep students focused on education. Rather, being called out for a clothing violation tells girls{ and women} that WE are nothing but objects -- that our sexuality and femininity does not belong to us. 

Over a quarter century ago-- I remember doing a battle of wits with my high school's vice principal. She { yes SHE} received a write up for me for the sin of wearing a " shirt skirt". Per the rules, girl's skirt length had to at least reach their fingertips. As a person with long, thin arms and legs, the only skirts that are at least " fingertip length" are below my knees.  It angered me at the time that my shorter-limbed sisters were allowed to wear skirts and shorts that would make Daisy Duke blush while I had a ling list of dress code " offenses"

Girls interviewed for the article said that the altering of their school photos embarrassed them and made them feel objectified. 

I get what they are saying. Teenaged Sarah learned a lot of poor body-image habits from all her time spent in the vice-principal's office defending her clothing choices. 

Boys and men are not subjected to such clothing scrutiny, while girls and women are held responsible for making sure that male minds are not " tempted"

As a female person--- IT IS NOT MY JOB TO MAKE SURE MENS' THOUGHTS STAY CLEAN. To think this turns me{ and every other female person} into an object to be manipulated. 

My pronouns are she/her/hers. I'm female and proud to be female. My body is female-- and it is also made in the Image of the Holy One. My legs and arms are long and lean.  I love my long-fingered, basketball-dribbling hands and sometimes I like to paint the nails in bold colors.

My body houses a soul-- a soul that should be treasured rather than belittled. 

As a female person, it is my duty to uphold  all women. We are beautiful in our diversity. 

Don't like what we wear-- kindly avert your eyes and shut up! 

Namaste...

Sarah McCarren

24 May 2021

My Complicated Relationship with Masking

                               Me at Pensacola Pier standing by a big cargo ship. Photo by Brian 

On Sunday, Christians everywhere will celebrate Pentecost-- the " birthday" of the Christian Church. 

Last year, my faith family carefully gathered together on the church lawn for our first in-person worship service in months. masked and distanced, we gathered together on the lawn for an abbreviated " ante-communion" { before Communion} worship experience. 

We only saw each other's eyes, and touching was not permitted. It was both weird and yet somehow normal. 

One year later the restrictions for safe in-person gatherings of all sorts are being lifted for we vaccinated people. 

I feel both joy & a good chunk of uncertainty regarding the new CDC guidelines. 

Of course I am waiting for the day when we will publicly burn all face-coverings in a huge bonfire. Seeing people sans their nose and mouth is creepy as heck--yet now so common. 

To be honest, I do not feel totally " dressed" in public without a mask. Being with people I know are vaccinated allows me to unmask with confidence-- I do not associate in -person with unvaccinated people. 

Based on the behavior of many people in Northwest Florida regarding masking and getting the vaccine, I still feel a need to hide behind the dreadful mask. This pandemic has shown me how selfish many Americans are--- and it sucks. Tending to others' well-being and safety has been politicized, and since so many still refuse to care for others by rolling up their sleeves, I don't feel safe in the general { nonvaccinated Northwest Florida} public with an uncovered face. 

It saddens and angers me that I-- and most people I know and love-- have all done our part to ensure safety for many. Its been a long, slow, painful fifteen months of weirdness-- weirdness from which I would love to shed the damn masks. Honestly, I don't know when I'll feel safe in stores or other public buildings without a face covering. I'm fully-vaccinated { and had to go through quite the run-around in order to schedule my shots!} but I do not want to get sick nor make someone else sick. 

People, just line up and get the vaccines. 

I want to burn the stupid masks. 

I-- and almost everyone I know-- did the good, patriotic duty of vaccination. 

Until then, I'm the masked woman. 

Sarah McCarren

Pentecost 2021

 

Confirm-a-Versary 2021: A Tale of Two BCPs

 

                                      Me, circa Easter 2009 . Navarre, FL. Unknown Photographer. 

In addition to yesterday being my anniversary of birth, it is also the day that I was confirmed into The Episcopal Church. A lot has happened since then, and I am grateful for the folks who have stuck by me this long. 

It has been three churches, a move to Pensacola, and years with the Best Human Ever { my spouse, Brian} 

I am surely not the same person I was all those years ago. Heck, I am not the same person I was at this time in 2020--due to COVID. 

I still have the red Book of Common Prayer that was given to me by the parish that sponsored me for Confirmation. It has been well-loved & the binding is loose, but I still use it most nights for Evening Prayer online . 

                                             Red BCP--- worn and frayed, but still in use. 

I also own another copy of the Book of Common Prayer. This one, given to me as a gift from my current parish when I re-affirmed my Baptismal Vows in October of 2018 has a black leather-like cover. While I use my red BCP for daily prayers, it is the black BCP that travels everywhere with me.  

                                     Me with my currant Priest in October, 2018-- they day I renewed my Baptismal Vows and received the black-covered BCP. Photo by Unknown Photographer. 

The red copy of this book represents the person I was when I came into the Church in 2009. I respect her, but I no longer identify with that version of myself. It's been a crazy, frustrating, joyous, sad few years since the { then} Bishop Philip Duncan laid hands on me and pronounced me a full member of the Episcopal Church. 

My walk with God has been challenged in the 12 years since I received my first BCP.  While I am grateful for the many people who have loved me into the faith, I feel now that I am "fully alive" and where God wants me to be, doing things that feed my soul and { more importantly} serve others. 

Middle age is great. I've learned, with age and experience, that being true to my values is essential for a happy life. I've learned that family are people who love one unconditionally while at the same time insisting that one be one's highest self. 

I am finally comfortable in my own skin and as a Christian I'm confident in my faith that leads me to advocate for the " least of those"-- and stand up to those in power when needed.

I've also learned where my weak spots -- or " triggers" are and how to deal effectively and healthily with them . As a wise friend once advised me : I respond rather than react. It helps to remember the words by Lady Gaga 

"I'm beautiful in my way

'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way : "

God. Makes. NO. MISTAKES.  Therefore, I've grown in my walk with God to appreciate all that God has given me. My body is not " perfect"-- I have a spine full of metal. Years of disordered eating contributed to my fertility issues. 

At the age of  #HalfwayTo90 I am done with body shaming. 

There is nothing inherently "wrong" with the way God made me. 

Twelve years later I am happier and { in all ways} healthier. 

Here is to walking with God for at least 45 more years! 

Alleluia. Amen. 

Sarah McCarren

18 May 2021

This is 45

 

                                                Making " good trouble" since 1976

I celebrate one more trip around the sun today. How did I spend my " Halfway to 90" birthday. By NOT EATING to prep for a spinal injection procedure that { hopefully} will relieve the spinal stenosis that has been a part of my life for over two years. 

Such a procedure , coupled that I remarked to Brian while in Savannah that " I've been acting middle aged since my mid 20's" in response to the revelry on The Riverwalk on Saturday evening.  But in all seriousness, today I am reminded that getting older is a gift--- and in this time of COVID many people did not live to add another year to their personal timeline. 

                     St Christopher at the Riverwalk in Savannah. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie. 

Brian and I spent my last birthday worshipping from home via our computers and then going to my parents' house. We were still in the thick of the Pandemic Spring, and doing our best to fill our days with meaning while staying home. 

This year-- Brian and I took a few days in Savannah and ate way too much , waked for MILES, enjoyed each other's company, and learned some history. While enjoying vaccinated life, we were delighted to see that Savannah & Chatham County, Georgia take COVID prevention very seriously.  While the introvert in me was still iffy about strangers getting to close to my personal space,  We drove, as neither one of us feels safe at airports yet { and I hate to fly  for so many reasons-- one being like I feel like a sardine in the cabin of a plane. } If more counties and cities took safety seriously for just a few more months, we would ALL have more freedom! 

Anyway, I am looking to how I can better serve my community as the world becomes safer. I am looking at getting involved in a local political campaign again & have volunteered for a great service ministry that is happening at my church this summer. When the Three Mile Bridge opens again, Brian and I plan to kayak at Shoreline park and resume our trash-pick-up work. While among the public, I will still take safety steps that include masking and proper distancing , but I have faith in the science that brought about the vaccines. 

Living in Pandemic Life-- and doing my best to serve others while still keeping Brian and myself safe has been a challenge. I am a true introvert-- but an introvert who loves serving others and being among my people. While I'll never be a smooth small talker or have the Irish " blarney" with all store clerks like some people whom I know and love, I do love people. Covid-tide has taught me how much I need others in order to be fully-human and fully alive. 

Cheers to my 45th year! 

Get out there, lovely people, and make the world better for ALL of us. 

Sarah McCarren

17 May 2021