From A Childless Woman in America

                                           My Aunt and me. circa 1978. 

I was not going to comment upon the onslaught of negative attention that we childless women have received in recent weeks.  Normally I stay away from partisan politics, but when my own existence is challenged publicly, I stand up for myself and others. 

First of all:  it is " none of your damn business " why a woman is childless.  

Some women are childless by choice. I commend them, as they figure out early on that motherhood is not a calling on their heart. Other women, such as I, wanted very much to be mothers but medical issues precluded that from happening. For us, each dig that is made against " childless cat ladies" {I'm a DOG mom, thank you very much!!} cuts us to the core.

 Implying that we childless women are somehow less of a woman for never giving birth nor adopting children is total bullshit. Womanhood is wonderful in its diversity, and to reduce half the human population to one function is unfair. This also leaves out our transgender sisters. Trans women are--- no matter what is said about them-- as much women as I am. Womanhood is about someone's soul-- not mere body parts or function of those body parts. 

Thirdly, there are many ways to " mother" that do not involve birthing and/or raising tiny humans.  I am a pet Mom, an aunt {biological and otherwise} and a mentor. I've also served in growing the faith of other people's children as a church Christian Education instructor {I've since retired from that wonderful and worthwhile work} 

Lastly, being childless at middle-age gives me freedom to serve humanity in ways that I'd not be able to do had I children or grandchildren. {Wow--- I'm technically old enough to be a grandmother... eek!!} I've time to work in ways that are both needed and bring me great joy. 

I'd wanted very much to be a mother when I was younger. But clearly that call is not for me. As I navigate this Second Act of Life , I do not need to feel like a freak of nature for my childless status. To all the good mothers I know--- THANK YOU. Your job is hard. For all the other Childless Pet Moms , I see you. 

Amen

Sarahbeth McCarren 

21 August 2024