This is me. Deal with it.

 

                                    St Brigid of Kildare, my Soul-Saint.  Unknown artist. 

There is not secret that I've struggled with self-acceptance for much of my life. As a matter of fact, until I met my spouse, Brian, I hated the person I saw i the mirror today.  In spite of my parents' best intentions, the message I got from most people is that I am " too much." Too smart. Too sensitive.  Too skinny. Too awkward.  Too liberal. Too, Too, Too.....

 Most of the time, I'm fairly confident in how God made me.  But sometimes, people's reaction to me calls back to the painful, lonely days when I felt like an alien in my own skin. 

Lady Gaga's song _Born This Way_ illustrates the sort of self-confidence and raw feminine power that is hidden in a woman once she realizes her full potential.  I've worked extremely hard to get even a wee bit of that " Gaga Factor" sauciness, and I am not going back in time. 

Here are some lyrics: 

....I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself, and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Ooh, there ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way
Baby, I was born this way (born this way)
Ooh, there ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Whether you're broke or evergreen
You're black, white, beige, chola descent
You're Lebanese, you're Orient
Whether life's disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied, or teased
Rejoice and love yourself today
'Cause, baby, you were born this way...

Gaga gets how lonely it is for a young girl who is " too much " of everything.  Finally at middle age, I am meeting women who are confidently, unapologetically whom God made them .  These past four years have been really hard on me, as I watched everything I'd been raised to believe is " good" vilified. 

I'm too sensitive. 

I'm too smart. 

I'm too skinny. 

I'm too awkward.

I'm too liberal. 

This is me. 

I'm claiming my " too_________" Don't like me as God made me? Tough luck. 

My name is Sarah. Hear me ROAR! 

~Sarah McCarren