Today is dark, cooler, and raining. Thanks to the front that is here since last night, the metal parts of my back are making themselves known, and they HURT.
Today is Wednesday and I am missing my Bible study and Midweek Manna crew more acutely right now. I'm pretty sure that the sudden onset of sadness and longing comes from the bishop's wise yet hard-to-make decision to suspend all in person faith community gatherings until Pentecost. { May 31}
Although this news of a prolonged " deployment " is no surprise to me, I am still feeling the ache of missing my people. Our amazing clergy and lay leadership do an excellent job of keeping everyone virtually connected, but I long for the day when I can look loved one's in the eyes { even if the six feet rule still must apply} and greet them with the Star Trek "Live Long And Prosper " sign language.
While I miss hugs and handshakes, it is human-to-human eye contact that has me longing for " home " more than anything. Eyes, to me,are ways that God gives humans a way to connect with each other than no other species possesses. So much nonverbal person-to-person communication occurs with the use of the eyes and the facial muscles around them. I've been told by more than one partner { back before Brian and I married} that my eyes do not lie. As matter of fact, my Mom always could tell when I told fibs by my eyes.
When we are able to gather as communities again, I will never take for granted hugs , handshakes, and ESPECIALLY the ability to look into someone's eyes.
While I am blessed more than a lot of people who are facing this outbreak, I also lament that the necessity of loving each other requires us to put aside { for a time} some of our higher needs as humans. It sucks, but there is gratitude in that Brian and I have our more basic needs met
1 We have income Granted, it is a fixed income, but it cover our bills.
2. Both of us are healthy, and even though Brian is in the higher-risk population, I've stepped up and done all our errands { I've discovered that I am quite the bargain-hunter at Winn Dixie and enjoy the mental arithmetic that goes along with stretching dollars! }
3. Only one person we know has died of this virus, and she did not live in Pensacola at the time of her death.
4 We have night prayers { Compline} every evening via Zoom. This space to both pray and chat with loved ones has become one of the biggest blessings of this otherwise strange, challenging " deployment" due to Covid19. Although we are apart physically, I sense that faithful little group growing closer and for that I give thanks.
This is a long hard, lonely { at times} scary deployment. But, when we all arrive home , it will be a joy-filled Pentecost such as the Church { and the world} has ever seen.
Pax Christos, anmcharas, { Gaelic : 'soul friends' })
Sarah
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