Druid Ancestry my Christian Faith and Life During an Pandemic

During this time way from our parish communities, it was encouraged by out Education Ministers to construct a family altar at home-- a place set apart to " center" us and remind us that our loving Creator God is still near-- even when that God seems very far away.

  I constructed an altar in our Pensacola home shortly after we moved here. During the nearly three years that we've resided in Cute Cottage, the altar has undergone many transformations. While the center of the altar always has been a Christian empty cross over time other elements of my rich albeit confusing { to most people} religious and cultural heritage.

  After the shooter murdered those 11 people in my home city of Pittsburgh in 2018, I placed the family menorah on the altar near the cross. As an American Christian from Pittsburgh will deep Ashkenazi Jewish roots in that city the synagogue shooting has forever changed me For months fter the tragedy, I was angry-- and struggled with coming to terms with the God I'd come to know through God's Son Jesus and the horrific murder of some of my mother's people

When my parents returned from their extended trip to Ireland and Scotland , they gifted me with a St Brigid's cross from Kildare. I waited until a friend found just the perfect shadow box to display this delicate treasure on my altar.... and it has remain the centerpiece for several months.  I'm fascinated by the storied-- legends really-- that surround Brigid of Kildare. Furthermore , I identify with her on many levels-- one of being born of interfaith parentage.

  Ever since I was old enough to remember innate heart knowledge , I've felt closest to God The Creator Of The Universe when I am outdoors in Nature. My childhood was spent in the northern Appalachian foothills of Western Pennsylvania and Eastern Ohio and even before I knew about Jesus, I knew that a Creator made all the plants and creatures-- the very soil-- among whom I played. From my Irish-American father I inherited a deep appreciation for Creation and a desire to keep it safe and healthy.  I understood that the mountains, creeks, tress, shrubs , and rocks that were my childhood playground were old, part of one of the oldest mountain chains on Earth.

  Here on Florida's Gulf Coast, I feel the same connected to Creator God when I walk in the soft, white quartz sand that lines our portion of the Gulf Of Mexico. As a matter of fact, my longing for connecting to the salt water and sand has forced me to get more creative to show my reverence for Creation during this pandemic. I keep some fresh blooming plants  { some store bought and others gathered from my neighborhood and yard.  Additionally, I placed some shells { various species} that I'd picked up over various walks on the Gulf.  In this way, I have the woods and the Gulf present with me on my altar.

  There are TWO candles on the altar. The white one is the Christ candle and I light it before joining my community in online corporate prayer/ Sunday worship. The other candle represents the fire that burns at St Brigid's hearth. Our cottage does not have such a hearth, so I created one using a special plate that was given to me as a gift from one of my Education For Ministry mentors. I have ashes there that represent the fire in all our hearts and the eternal Light of Christ.

 To some my rich faith heritage may seem odd, even blasphemous.  But I am blessed with several anam cara , or " soul friends" who walk alongside me on this wonderful, deep, multi-faceted Christian faith.

 To anam cara  everywhere, I give thanks today for you.

Peace,

Sarah

Mismatched Socks & All-Day PJ's & the Importance of Eye Contact

Today is dark, cooler, and raining. Thanks to the front that is here since last night, the metal parts of my back are making themselves known, and they HURT. 

Today is Wednesday and I am missing my Bible study and Midweek Manna crew more acutely right now. I'm pretty sure that the sudden onset of sadness and longing comes from the bishop's wise yet hard-to-make decision to suspend all in person faith community gatherings until Pentecost. { May 31} 

  Although this news of a prolonged " deployment " is no surprise to me, I am still feeling the ache of missing my people. Our amazing clergy and lay leadership do an excellent job of keeping everyone virtually connected, but I long for the day when I can look loved one's in the eyes { even if the six feet rule still must apply} and greet them with the Star Trek "Live Long And Prosper " sign language.  

  

While I miss hugs and handshakes, it is human-to-human eye contact that has me longing for " home " more than anything.  Eyes, to me,are ways that God gives humans a way to connect with each other than no other species possesses. So much nonverbal person-to-person communication occurs with the use of the eyes and the facial muscles around them. I've been told by more than one partner { back before Brian and I married} that my eyes do not lie. As  matter of fact, my Mom always could tell when I told fibs by my eyes. 

When we are able to gather as communities again, I will never take for granted hugs , handshakes, and ESPECIALLY the ability to look into someone's eyes. 

While I am blessed more than a lot of people who are facing this outbreak, I also lament that the necessity of loving each other requires us to put aside { for a time} some of our higher needs as humans. It sucks, but there is gratitude in that Brian and I have our more basic needs met 

1 We have income Granted, it is a fixed income, but it cover our bills.

2. Both of us are healthy, and even though Brian is in the higher-risk population, I've stepped up and done all our errands  { I've discovered that I am quite the bargain-hunter at Winn Dixie and enjoy the mental arithmetic that goes along with stretching dollars! }

3. Only one person we  know has died of this virus, and she did not live in Pensacola at the time of her death. 

4 We have night prayers { Compline} every evening via Zoom. This space to both pray and chat with loved ones has become one of the biggest blessings of this otherwise strange, challenging " deployment" due to Covid19. Although we are apart physically, I sense that faithful little group growing closer and for that I give thanks. 

This is a long hard, lonely { at times} scary deployment. But, when we all arrive home , it will be a joy-filled Pentecost such as the Church { and the world} has ever seen. 

Pax Christos, anmcharas, { Gaelic : 'soul friends' }) 

Sarah

Missing The Christa Sistas' Retreat :CoronavirusLife

   My sweet soul sister, Ariana has been making Bitmoji cartoons of me.  They are adorable, nd I've saved them to my computer. The one I chose of my Bitmoji covering her face with her hands is perfect for what I feel right now. 

   Regarding the pandemic, I've moved from anger into a deep sadness. As we look towards an extended time away from people we love and as we move into wedding/graduation season, my heat aches for all the people who were to be wed in May and June as well for college high school seniors. 

  On a more personal level this weekend would have been the time that about 70 women { including our priest and her wife}would have gathered at our local Camp and Conference center for a weekend of worship study, fun, and deepening relationships. 

  Each year after the annual Women's Retreat, I've arrived back to Pensacola with knowing a woman a more than a friendly acquaintance. Friendships formed at this weekend are nurtured always, and women who are new to the parish get a chance to get to know us as a community better.. 

  I'll miss so much  of the Women's Retreat this year, but there are three things that { usually} occur here and are definitely sacred times for me. 

1. Small Groups: To me, these are the " meat "of our weekend. There are three sessions of programming,  Groups are put together carefully, mixing women of various ages, life experiences--with intention of people meeting at least one other person whom they did not know via small groups. Acquaintances become friends during these weekends  and the Holy Spirit is showing Herself every minute. 

                       ( Powerful worship service where we gave thanks to God for the sisterhood we share)

2. Sunrises by Weeks Bay:  It is hard to wake up early on Saturday and Sunday mornings of the retreat, but one of my favorite " thin places" is the Beckwith dock. I'll bundle up in a sweatshirt { and sometimes a blanket} and walk to the dock with my prayer book, cup of coffee and phone. As the sun rises over the water, I do my best to capture the incredible color palette of the sunrise sky. 

{ God's Front Yard at Daybreak} 

{Sunrise From the Beckwith Dock}

3. Sacrament of Reconciliation . Since our retreat takes place during the Great 50 days of Easter, for the past two years I've made my yearly confession.  We at St Christopher's  Pensacola are blessed with two wonderful priests, but I've felt comfortable with our rector since I first met her years ago. { before Brian and I moved to Pensacola} Last year we met at the outdoor chapel for the Reconciliation Rite and my soul felt immediately better { and I followed her practical advice }  This Eastertide, I am not sure how I'll be able to make my Confession and that saddens me.  Even though Confession { or Reconciliation} is totally optional in The Episcopal church, I've made mine yearly. I am sure how I'll do it this year, but not during Eastertide, and probably not at Beckwith. 

                     { This is an older photo of my priest, " Colonel", & me but I love it. }

  

There is much more that I miss about this weekend, but  the saying is " What happens at Beckwith stays at Beckwith . ".  

 I realize that this particular " deployment" requires most of us to do our part and stay home. Additionally, I realize that Beckwith will be there when we are able to gather in groups again. But , like the forbearers of our faith, I lament this deployment to this strange land of Pandemic. 

 Sistas, I love you! Stay well, and reach out to me if I can help you. 

 Pax Christos,

 ~Sarah

Together, Yet Apart #CoronaVirusLife

Yesterday Brian and I decided we wanted take-out from one of our favorite Pensacola eateries. The restaurant of choice is locate just across the street from our church. While Brian waited for our food I walked to the church and spent some quiet time in that sacred space. 

It struck me that while of course the Church is her people, being on those grounds today had a real sense of connection with those people. During normal times , people I love gather here. Memories are made in the nave, in the parish hall, and especially the front yard. 

 In the past three years , so much  joy has occurred on this front yard. 

  

  Easter egg hunts

  Pet blessings

  Ocktoberfest

  Free Thursday evening concerts open to the wider community

  Gardening fun for those with green thumbs

  Quiet contemplation under the trees and on the benches

  People dancing at the community concerts

  Children playing together. 

The people who meet here during healthier times leave behind a good energy that I cannot explain, but know for sure that it is a real energy. It is perhaps God's way of remnding me that we are still in community with our Beloveds-- even when it isn't safe to gather together in-person.  I was reminded that these buildings and gorgeous grounds will once again be filled with God's people doing our best to live according to The Way of Love. 

During this " deployment" , The Holy Spirit shows us ways to be together  while we are apart. 

Thanks be to Creator God! Alleluia! 

~Sarah

Improvised Art Studio : #QuarantineLife

Today I felt the need to create some visual art Since our house, built in 1965, has small windows and low lighting, fining a place at home wit enough natural light for a " studio" has been a challenge. 

Feeling a huge need to paint , I got my art box and canvases { thanks to Michaels' for a good price on quality canvases--- no more need to shop Wal-mart}  my phone and wireless speaker and listened to my jams while I painted. It felt so freeing to paint away the feelings of being trapped by quarantine-- painting gets me " out of my head" for awhile and lets me reboot my emotional hard drive. 

The Valium that the doctor wisely prescribed for me has kept my emotional hard drive clean { and as an INFJ with a strong extroverted feeling function, I tend to struggle with my own emotional shit & the same of others I love.  For most of my life, I've struggled to " observe-- not absorb" the negative emotional energy of others  and I've learned some healthy coping tools that shield me from most people's emotional baggage. I've learned that this  " feeling" function can be of service to others when harnessed properly. 

Three weeks into the COVID19 pandemic I realized that if I didn't ask for medical help to keep my own brain chemistry on track-- I probably would not survive the quarantine.  My primary -care doctor, who has been my main provider since I moved here in late 1998, prescribed me with two month's worth { one more refill after I finish this one & then Dr P nd I will re-evaluate the situation}

When I take the Valium with my mid-day meal I noticed that my mind is clear not only to do the daily tasks of adult life, but m inspired to write , paint, and dabble a bit in calligraphy. 

Also for the first time since this physical-distancing was put into place, I felt fully present during virtual Mass. Instead of lamenting about not being physically present for worship-- I felt true gratitude that technology makes my community able to gather together even when we are physically sequestered in or homes. I smiled as each new person showed up and gave a greeting . in the side comments. 

These are tough times for everyone, and if some people { such as myself} need a bit of legal chemical help to make our brains behave, then it should be available to all who need it. Valium has given me back the Self who has worked doggedly every day for years t\ to be fully myself and proud of that person. 

Gratful, grateful , grateful. 

Alleluia-- Christ HAS risen and so shall we. 

~Sarah

A Cross and an Empty Tomb = Love

Right now, Love looks like empty sports stadiums, concert halls, movie theatres and churches. As much as physical distancing from people I love saddens me, I know that the only way that we can defeat this virus is by keeping the number of new cases down.  No one said this would be an easy task, and love often requires sacrifice. 

I think of Jesus' friends hovering in a locked room, scared for their lives and the lives of their beloveds. After all, they had just witnessed the Roman government carry out a cruel death sentence. Their friend, teacher, and leader died a horrid death for crimes that He did not commit. 

Jesus' self-sacrifice was the ultimate act of love. His friends and followers did not understand why He had to die, and they were rightfully terrified. 

On the Cross, Christ shows us what it means to literally lay one's life down for one's friends.  When the women come to His tomb and find it empty, Christ once again shows us that the LOVE of Creator God means that we will also conquer death. 

Right now this pandemic has many of us feeling as though we are stuck in a loop of Holy Saturday. Innocent people are dying and all we can do in order to protect ourselves and our vulnerable loved ones is " hunker down" in the Upper Room that are our homes. We know not when it will be safe to emerge from our safe places, and the government has proven itself as an unreliable source of information. 

People are growing weary of sheltering in place. Some are enacting their version of the First Amendment of the US Constitution to protest the Stay-At-Home orders of their states. Some churches are taking advantage of their " essential service" status in some states and are holding huge worship services on Sundays. 

Y'all ,this is NOT what Jesus would do. He, by giving up his life in  cruel, brutal way, showed us what love can be.  Right now, we are called to emulate that sacrificial love of Jesus and stay safe and hidden in our homes. It is scary, nd we are not sure when it will be safe for life as we knew it to resume. But our duty to humanity right now is to listen to the advice of the medical professionals-- and NOT risk our lives and the lives of others n the name of " protecting the First Amendment. 

There is a time and a place for righteous anger and protests. Now, in the middle of a pandemic, is not the time to be an armchair Constitutional lawyer. Now, regardless of what we profess, the political ideology with which we identify, or our income bracket-- we must all follow the instructions of the Center For Disease Control and stay home. 

In the Name of the Risen LORD Jesus,

Amen. 

Alleluia! 

~Sarah

After Qurantine: What Next?

 Since I've been on some prescription anti-anxiety medication, I've realized that my thoughts are no longer racing, my sleep is much more regular, and I don't forget what day or time it is during this weird time in history that we humans find ourselves currently.

  One of my friends wrote an essay that posed the question that I am sure is on the minds of many people. After the governments start to { slowly, I hope} lift the ban and restrictions of this quarantine, what sort of " normal" will be waiting for us?

  For me, I know I will never  take things for granted that give me joy.  Here is a list of parts of my life that this virus has me missing:
 
 ~ Hanging out on the beach. Brian and I like to spend time there-- usually just the two of us. He fishes, I sit and read a book.
 
~ IN-PERSON Church. While our team of faithful servants are doing a fabulous job of keeping my parish people connected remotely, I miss receiving the Body & Blood of Christ weekly. However, I miss the joy of worshipping  alongside my siblings-in-Christ. While I probably will be more careful when passing the Peace at church, even chances to look into others' eyes and wish them God's Peace will fill my soul after this time apart. It will be an extra joy-filled Sunday when Brian and I are able to serve Communion at the altar alongside our clergy at the  8 A.M. Mass.

  ~Airplanes. We live near the airport , and the sound of commercial jets is a constant, reassuring background noise. the sky has been quiet-- save for some cargo jets and private planes that belong to the rich 1 percent of people who can travel where they please.

   ~Shopping without fear of police presence. I still am baffled and rather frightened of the scene that I witnessed when trying to get into our local Walmart -- armed city cops and a line of people waiting to go into Walmart. Ugh. One of the post-quarantine changes that Brian and I decided to make is to no longer patronize them. Winn-Dixie has good prices, a cleaner store, and wonderful staff.

   ~Visiting my parents. Tis virus threat has my Dad concerned about contacting/spreading the illness, so there have been no in-person visits in what seems like eons.

          However, I will still take careful measures once we are lowed to socialize normally again. I know that Brian and I will not attend any ball games, concerts, or Gallery Nights this summer. We'll also avoid movie theatres.

  During my plane rides to and from Pittsburgh this summer I'll be wearing a mask & disposable gloves { hah, won't those TSA agents in Pensacola just love me for insisting on a mask and gloves. I will also tell them that I will not consent to a pat-down-- they can use their magic wand to see that the metal I carry in my lower back is medical rods and screws which cannot be removed without major surgery! 

   Additionally, I will carry a reusable water bottle with me-- and avoid public drinking fountains.

   I won't shake hands with strangers. As someone who is introverted in many ways, not shaking hands and staying six feet away from people unfamiliar to me is not much of a sacrifice. As an introvert with a strong  " extroverted feeling"  function on the Myers-Briggs personality scale, I am affectionate with those I know and love but am naturally cautious around strangers.

  It is my hope and prayer that we emerge back into society as a kinder more compassionate people. Perhaps this virus was humanity's wake-up call -- reminding us that we are all human. I'd like to see some laws passed to help those on the socioeconomic fringes of society and I want to see Florida's public school employees receive huge raises. 

 I pray that our eventual return to our new normal will be an Easter like no other.

 Alleluia, Amen.

 ~Sarah

Its the Little Things that Keep Me Sane... #CoronaVirusLife

 I'm learning to embrace the little pleasures in life,  Since this virus has humanity physically separated from those we love, I am learning again to use all five senses 

  Yesterday Brian and I took a walk on the nature trail up by the university, and I opened my ears to the sounds of several different bird callings When we walked near the water I looked for the resident turtle-- and felt glad when I spotted it swimming near us. Brian and I also saw a blue-tailed skink. 

  At home, I am lighting ritual candles before night prayer time on Zoom. Seeing the light and smelling the flame reminds me that sacred spaces are not confined to a church or synagogue-- that any time faithful people gather together to pray, there is God among them. I've found that making use of my home altar aids in the sense of connectedness I feel to others-- especially during this time of physical distancing. There is a white, lavender-scented candle in the center of my home altar that I use as a Christ-candle. It is lit before  Facebook Live Mass and before evening Zoom Compline. Also on the altar is a cup full of salt water that I can touch in order to remind myself of the Baptismal Covenant . 

  Rituals, and ritual items keep my soul grounded during this time that life is rather untethered. 

 This morning I treated myself to a deep-conditioning hair treatment at home. Salons may be closed, but I am able to purchase decent hair products and enjoy how post-treatment hair looks, smells and feels. I also bought myself a new lip gloss-- one that makes my lips feel smooth and smells like strawberries.  I may be stuck at home, but I can still treat myself to some little luxuries that make me look and feel better. 

 " Self-care" looks different for each person, but it is essential that we take time and space to tend to our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being during this time. 

  Namaste, 

  ~Sarah

Technology: Damned if you do, damned if you don't #CoronavirusLife

    For an ambivert such as myself, maintaining meaningful connections during a pandemic has been challenging. In a few short weeks, my life has gone from full social calendars to Zoom meetings and safe walks in the woods with Brian. As much as a late Generation-X person such as myself enjoys the perks of technology, this pandemic is showing me how lacking " social media" is compared to face-to-face interactions. 

  Of course I am grateful for the technology: pandemic life would be much worse for everyone without the Internet. Yet at the same time I feel that interaction via screen time falls woefully short of my need to look people in the eyes { even from six feet away}  Zoom and Facebook Live are great, but fall short in a way that can only be described as sensory-shortness. Computer-assisted socialization only uses two of the five senses that humans use to experience our world. 

  I realize that technology is al we have to connect right now-- and I understand that this physical isolation is necessary. But I am not going to pretend that screen time will ever  take the place of in-person gatherings. After the bans on gatherings are lifted, I'll be prudent in maintaining the proper distance for safety but I will rejoice when it is safe and legal to congregate in groups with people I love. 

  As for huge public gatherings, I am okay with cancelations of events that bring large groups of people together in one enclosed space. After all, the part of my personality that is introverted isn't much of a fan of huge gatherings of strangers. As much as I would love to attend a football game of my NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP University of West Florida Argonauts, I understand and agree if the season is cancelled to keep people safe.  

 I just miss people I love. Technology is great, but it isn't the same. 

 Living life tied to a screen sucks. 

 ~Sarah

Counting blessings.... #CoronavirusLife

   It has not been news to anyone who knows me that this quarantine has been hard on my emotional health. As someone who has suffered from clinical depression since my early teens, I am familiar with mental health services : both drug and talk therapy.

  Today I was reminded by someone whom I both love and trust, that perhaps this uncertain time in human history is a time to look extra hard for what exists in our lives.  There is no doubt that this pandemic has cancelled a lot from many people's lives-- but she I was reminded that there is much for which to give God thanks.

This plague has not taken away everything.  After all, in the life of a Christian, Easter has arrived.  In Nature, plants are budding and baby animals are coming forth.

  I need to remind myself that God is with us in all this uncertainty-- that we are like the Israelites lost in this " desert" for a spell. Like them, I am scared and grumbling.  So much has changed in such a short amount of time, and no one knows when this long journey will end. Sometimes I let doubt creep in and wonder if the Promised Land will ever appear.

  It is April on the Gulf Coast, and the weather has leveled out to a pleasant { albeit short} Spring. The air is warm-- not hot and daylight lasts until after supper.  Our beaches are closed for the time being, but I can still get outside in my beautiful and safe Pensacola neighborhood. There are some city parks that are not completely shut down that Brian and I can enjoy. { just make sure to use the bathroom at home--- restrooms are closed for everyone's safety} I can check in with loved ones on the phone or via Zoom.  Harry, our two-year-old hound dog, needs and wants my attention. My spouse and I are one of those couples who enjoy all-day togetherness.

 There is much for which to give thanks. In my darker moments, I need to find a sure-fire way to keep gratitude at the center of Quarantine Life.

Stay tuned.....

~Sarah

 

Holy Friday In The Upside Down.#Coronavirus Edition

 Today is Holy, or " Good " Friday.  It is the day that Christians commemorate  Jesus Christ's death and burial.  It is a day where the world turned " upside down". People are hunkering down in their homes-- church services are livestreamed, and everyone wears a facemask to get groceries and other essentials. 

  To me, and many others, life in a pandemic is a continual " Good Friday." Life seems pointless and mundane-- and the tiniest efforts to tend to one's physical needs such as food, bathing, and sleep require a huge effort. 

  We cannot trust what the government's top leaders tell us on the evening news, and  rites of passage are suspended for a time. People are not marrying, or being honored by a Celebration of Life. Members of the Class of 2020  {both high schools and colleges } will not see graduates enjoy a well- earned graduation ceremony. Gatherings with family and friends are now reduced to " drive through " parties-- with people staying a safe distance in their vehicles. 

  Yup-- we are stuck in The Upside Down-- a long Good Friday. In order to stay safe, we humans are entombing ourselves in our homes. Some of us are dealing with " Upside Down Life better than others. For people with any kind of trauma in the past--  saving others will come at a greater cost to themselves. People who have suffered through major natural disasters, veterans with military combat PTSD , and those { such as myself} who had an experience being trapped in our bodies due to medical issues are not okay. 

 Being stuck in " Good Friday" indefinitely scares me. Although Christians know that the liturgical " good Friday will lead to Easter--- this weird existence in The Upside Down is prolonging the Triduum. This lack of knowledge of  when this journey will end with Easter is scary. People are hiding from the enemy in their own Upper Rooms, afraid to venture away from the safety of the nest. 

 None of this is natural 

 My prayers is that we all pull through this mess with as little collateral damage from our time in The Upside Down as possible. I pray for all those for whom quarantine means that brains play tricks on their health. 

  I pray for Easter. 

  Amen. 

  Sarah 

Washing Feet By Staying Home

  Blessed Triduum to you. 

 Maundy, or Holy Thursday, is one of my favorite liturgical days of the entire year.  On this day, we Christ-followers commemorate the Last Supper Christ had with His friends, the institution of the Holy Eucharist { or Mass} and service to others via ceremonial foot-washing. 

  I miss all of it. Later this evening, Christians around the world will gather virtually for the Holy Thursday liturgy from the safety of home. 

  I know this is necessary. 

  

  But it still saddens me. 

  It saddens me that on the holiest three days on the calendar, Christians must " wash each other's feet" by staying home. 

  I lament this loss.

  As a matter of fact, I am full of lamentations. This pandemic has taken away most of what I hold dear--everything from outdoor recreation at the beach to visits with my parents to gathering for public worship with people I love. 

  I understand why these sacrifices are absolutely necessary, but I lament their loss. 

  Saving lives comes at a huge  price right now. 

  Our LORD Jesus knew this fact intimately. He knew about giving up life in order to save those He loved. 

   In Spring of 2020, we are called to give up parts of " normal life"  to save others. 

  It is hard. 

  Jesus knew this hardship intimately. 

  Blessed Triduum to you,

  ~Sarah

#CoronaVirusLife Technology & Me =It is Complicated

  One of the lessons that I have learned from this experience of staying home in quarantine is that I have a very complicated relationship with technology-- especially the relationship between a healthy computer/phone and managing my mental health while staying away from places & people I love. 

  As a Generation X person { born in the 1970s} I came into adulthood just as the Internet was becoming more mainstream. My earliest memories of computer-based communication are in the form of checking e-mail via the VAXA terminals in the library of the small college in West Virginia where I'd been studying { 200-2001 at UWF would see much more internet-based learning & communication} I'd be strategic enough to eat breakfast in the dining hall as soon as it opened-- then makes a quick beeline for the library and the VAXA  terminal area. 

   Some of my posse from West Liberty used the computers much more than I did. As a matter of fact addiction to Internet Relay Chat { Remember IRC??} was a topic of discussion on campus. Back then, the new technology was interesting to me, but I lived my life in the real, physical world while using all five senses.

   Fast forward to the present: I am middle-aged, living in Florida and stuck at home in the middle of a pandemic. Technology has evolved enough so that people can enjoy real-time video chat/meetings without leaving their houses. Facebook has evolved from a simple text-and-photo-based platform to a full multimedia outlet 

  We gather via Zoom and Facebook Live , and there IS a real sense of " togetherness" during these online events. The problem { at least for me} is that online interaction is not permanent. the compute is turned off after a Zoom session and I'm stuck at home-- not knowing when it will be safe to see my loved ones again. 

 It is an existence that most humans are not fit to live. Yet we have no other choice. 

 Technology is great--yet no virtual reality can replace face-to-face human community. 

 Stay heathy and sane....

  ~Sarah

Computer problems in the times of #Coronavirus

My computer isn't working correctly .

And. I. Am . Freaked. Out.

Normally Brian and I would take the machine down to our local tech store to get a " looksee" by a tech person. Yet we are living in Coronavirus Days, so that little luxury is not happening now. The last time my machine pooped out on connectivity , we bought an external antenna that saved the day.

I'm tethered to my computer and I HATE IT!

Of course I am grateful for the technology that keeps us connected during this time, but I m lso freaked out that this is the ONLY socialization I get now.

I cannot lose The Internet, as my mental health { what remains due to quarantine} depends on my ability to socialize online with people I love.

As a true introvert, I don't mind not engaging in chit-cat with strangers at the store. My soul, however, CRAVES interaction with those whom I know and love. staying way from strangers is easy- but my soul lives for those Zoom visits with friends & family.

Being tethered to a computer all day is horrible. Yet it is all we have right now,

Stay safe and sane...

Sarah