Toxic Masculinity is a Cultural Illness that Needs to Stop

  I am convinced that society in general, and American society in particular, will be better of if people could stop teaching  { and start UNLEARNING } toxic masculinity. 

  Now please do not misinterpret what I am saying. Not all men are toxic. As a matter of fct, my life is enriched by many men and boys who have a healthy concept of what it means to " be a man" in the world.

  Maybe it will help if we look at how a dictionary defines the concept of toxic masculinity :

   noun

a cultural concept of manliness that glorifies stoicism, strength, virility, and dominance, and that is socially maladaptive or harmful to mental health: Men and women both suffer when toxic masculinity perpetuates expectations that are restrictive and traumatizing. { SOURCE: www.dictionary.com }

 To be clear, men and boys who identify as cishet and present themselves as " traditionally masculine" are NOT assumed by me to be toxic. As a matter of fact, I am married to a man who presents as classically " masculine" and he is far from being a toxic man. 

Anyone who knows my husband is aware that if any stereotype fits him, it is that of a " gentle giant".  Brian presents himself as 100 percent " masculine", yet would never act with the cultural concept of manliness that is harmful to all people.  Brian is " manly" , but he is not macho-- he hasn't a competative streak in his soul{ well, he competes to be his  best self }

 It angers me that men who show  traits of toxic masculinity often are the loudest, tend to be on the far-right side of the sociopolitical spectrum,  and see nothing wrong with their overly aggressive behavior. 

 I realize that I am blessed with many men in my life who are the opposite of this macho attitude.  I am far from hating men--- as a matter of fact I usually prefer their company as friends to that of many women.  But I also run across men who embody toxic behavior-- and who seem to believe it is their right to be a complete asshole. They won't listen to reason and refuse to at least apologize for their behavior. 

 Here are some words from The Young Bloods: 

Love is but a song to sing
Fear's the way we die
You can make the mountains ring
Or make the angels cry
Though the bird is on the wing
And you may not know why

Come on people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another
Right now

Some may come and some may go
We shall surely pass
When the one that left us here
Returns for us at last
We are but a moment's sunlight
Fading in the grass

~Sarah