Women Empowering Women #WILC20

I spent the day at my old university , listening to, and learning from women who are at the top of their fields right here in Pensacola. This is the second year that I've attended the Women In Leadership Conference , and this year's lineup of speakers were amazing. 

As women, I think it is essential that we avoid society's temptation to compete with each other . Rather, women should unite and empower each other.  As Dr Judy Bense, past president of The University Of West Florida and said  " Its still a man's world, but there is room for us. "

Absolutely.

 As a generation-X woman, I understand that I benefit from the sacrifices of women who had ' boots on the ground' in the struggle for equality back in the 1960's.  In my four decades of life, I've never known a time when women were denied the right to vote. As a high school athlete, I enjoyed the benefits of Title 9, playing basketball and performing on the track and field team. Now I have the joy of seeing girls who desire to play football get chances to prove themselves on the gridiron. When I was growing up in the late 20th century, girls who played varsity football did not exist. 

Many of the speakers drove home the importance of finding mentors-- women { and sometimes men}  to whom we can look to emulate and from whom we can learn. I am blessed to have several women in my life to whom I look upwards and from whom I seek advice.  Additionally, I am sliding into the role of " wiser woman" for younger women and girls who are coming up in the next generation. 

Thanks to UWF , The College Of Business & the Executive Mentoring Program for hosting such a great day. 

Cheers,

~Sarah

As Lent 2020 Approaches...

 Tomorrow is Fat Tuesday, the day before liturgical Christians enter the season of Lent-- the forty days that are spent recalling our sins and making a resolve to live better.

Tomorrow evening I will enjoy pancakes , sausage, butter and other rich, sweet foods at church with my spouse and my parish family. On Wednesday morning { EARLY} Brian and I will go to church for Mass with Imposition of Ashes. Later that day, we'll join others from our parish in our monthly outreach to the hungry and homeless in our  city. The fact that the monthly date for serving Pensacola's most-needy falls on the first day of Lent, 2020 is not lost on me. I'm grateful for the opportunity to " live wet" while also " remembering that I am dust".

  Lent reminds me yearly that our Earthly life is finite-- eventually our bodies return to Earth. Whether or not a person believes in eternal life of human souls or not is immaterial-- everyone can observe Lent regardless of religious faith { or lack thereof}  For me, Lent is a chance to " do better"-- to try out practices that enrich my life on Earth.

  As Earth in the Northern Hemisphere looks with joyous anticipation towards the light of Spring, we humans can prepare our minds, bodies and souls for better things ahead.

Shalom...

~Sarah

Our First Pensacola Mardi Gras

I know, it is hard to believe that we've lived in this city for almost three years & FINALLY attended our first Mardi Gras Celebration.  Although we'd attended { and even marched in} Mardi Gras events in our former town, we'd taken until today  to sample some of Pensacola's Carnival fun.

 To be honest, one of the BIG reasons I wanted to go this year was that my alma mater's football team was recognized for their Division 2 NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP ! Yup, The University Of West Florida is now on the national radar for their championship win in their football programs fourth year! Yup, when I was a student UWF did not have football.

Check it out :

Yup, it was great to see the entire UWF football team, their coaches, and cheerleaders { yeah , I suppose I must give cheerleaders credit when credit is due..... }  lead the parade.  Naturally I was appropritely "blinged' in my t-shirt, hat, buttons and beads! 

It was much more fund than both Brian and I had anticipated . The " throws{ things that people throw to the crowds at parades} for this parade far outdid the loot we picked up each year in Nowhere, FL. My nephew & niece will be pleasantly surprised with all the goodies I hauled home today.  However, I am keeping this throw that Brian caught for me: 

 I added some of the prettier beads to " bling" out the latest addition to my stuffed animal collection that sits on a shelf in my home office. 

The sun shone the entire time that we were downtown, I started the day wearing a sweatshirt , but soon removed the outer layer and felt comfortable in jeans and t-shirt 

 Since the spouse and I started out 2020 with two deaths and planning a funeral, it is nice to take time to appreciate what life offers us right her and right now.  If I've learned anything from the events of January, 2020 it is that LIFE IS TOO SHORT.  Be responsible, work hard, but remember that life also should be FUN. Don't take people in your life for granted-- and PLEASE tell people that you love them. 

Happy Mardi Gras, friends! 

Peace....

~Sarah

Sunshine, Warmer Temps and Running

 Winter is tough on me.  One of the reasons that I agreed to move to Florida over 21 years ago is that I tend to become dangerously depressed during the winter months. It is not so much the cooler { Florida is not cold} temperatures of winter as much as the limited sunlight.  In spite of my Irish and Eastern European Jewish ancestry, I need sunlight to thrive. Looking back, I honestly do not know how I managed to survive a childhood in the cold and dark Northern Appalachians. 

 At any rate, January was " dark" in many ways for Brian and me In addition to the yucky January weather that is typical in Northwest Florida, my husband lost both his younger brother and his older sister in January. 

  To sum up January, it was DARK. Both Brian and I are glad that January is over-- and the first month of the year is now my least favorite month. 

   One of the ways that I stave off the bouts of winter depression is by exercise. I know that it is counter-cultural to many Americans to enjoy exercise, but I find it a healing balm for a hurting soul.  One of the best parts about life in Pensacola is our wonderful Parks and Recreation Department. The City has a community center not far from our home, and in there is a small but clean and quiet workout room. Physical limitations preclude me from doing any heavy weight-training, but I am permitted to follow a program of cardiovascular exercises  and light weightlifting. 

  My knees and spine no longer allow me to run in races , but  physical therapist told me  I can run on the elliptical machine-- and not worry about too much impact on my spine and knees. Last year I discovered that running a respectable mile on the elliptical provides me with a natural release of endorphins that carry out through the day.  I've discovered that dark days are better when I make an effort to visit the gym and run a competitive mile on the elliptical.  

  I am grateful that my middle-aged body still can run. 

 I grew up in a family that values good stewardship of our bodies. While m younger brother is the more gifted athlete in my family-- we both inherited from our father a love of sports and competitive games. As I've grown older, I've realized that I m really only in competition with myself.  Since I no longer run competitavely, the only person whose records I need to maintain or beat are my own. 

 I cannot control the amount of sunlight that Northwest Florida gets on any given day. However, I can find ways to fight the winter depressive episodes. Running helps me achieve that goal. 

Namaste,

~Sarah

 

Toxic Masculinity is a Cultural Illness that Needs to Stop

  I am convinced that society in general, and American society in particular, will be better of if people could stop teaching  { and start UNLEARNING } toxic masculinity. 

  Now please do not misinterpret what I am saying. Not all men are toxic. As a matter of fct, my life is enriched by many men and boys who have a healthy concept of what it means to " be a man" in the world.

  Maybe it will help if we look at how a dictionary defines the concept of toxic masculinity :

   noun

a cultural concept of manliness that glorifies stoicism, strength, virility, and dominance, and that is socially maladaptive or harmful to mental health: Men and women both suffer when toxic masculinity perpetuates expectations that are restrictive and traumatizing. { SOURCE: www.dictionary.com }

 To be clear, men and boys who identify as cishet and present themselves as " traditionally masculine" are NOT assumed by me to be toxic. As a matter of fact, I am married to a man who presents as classically " masculine" and he is far from being a toxic man. 

Anyone who knows my husband is aware that if any stereotype fits him, it is that of a " gentle giant".  Brian presents himself as 100 percent " masculine", yet would never act with the cultural concept of manliness that is harmful to all people.  Brian is " manly" , but he is not macho-- he hasn't a competative streak in his soul{ well, he competes to be his  best self }

 It angers me that men who show  traits of toxic masculinity often are the loudest, tend to be on the far-right side of the sociopolitical spectrum,  and see nothing wrong with their overly aggressive behavior. 

 I realize that I am blessed with many men in my life who are the opposite of this macho attitude.  I am far from hating men--- as a matter of fact I usually prefer their company as friends to that of many women.  But I also run across men who embody toxic behavior-- and who seem to believe it is their right to be a complete asshole. They won't listen to reason and refuse to at least apologize for their behavior. 

 Here are some words from The Young Bloods: 

Love is but a song to sing
Fear's the way we die
You can make the mountains ring
Or make the angels cry
Though the bird is on the wing
And you may not know why

Come on people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another
Right now

Some may come and some may go
We shall surely pass
When the one that left us here
Returns for us at last
We are but a moment's sunlight
Fading in the grass

~Sarah

Middle Age: The Good , The Bad, the Ugly : Part Two

 As promised, here is Part Two on my series #MiddleAgeLife. Yesterday I discussed the positive aspects of being in my " middle years", so tonight I shall tackle the bad parts of life in my fourth decade. 

 1. The Hormonal Changes. Ugh! It is true that the female human body starts to produce less estrogen as she gets older. Along with some physical changes  such as oily skin, dry hair, and goofy monthly cycles. Women in perimenopause also suffer from fluctuating mood swings, which can be challenging for us , our spouses/partners, children, co-workers or anyone else who deals with us on a regular basis. Add to the mix that I am a " feeler " { highly empathic} and sometimes my poor spouse is at a loss as to how to help me with my " blues". 

 2. Muscle and Skeletal changes.  As we age our bones and joints feel more wear-and-tear. I've had to quit running, playing pick-up basketball and weightlifting due to skeletal issues that were { for the most part} not present when I was younger.  My knees can no longer tolerate the jumping that basketball requires. Furthermore, do to a congenital back defect that caused major scoliosis, { for which I was fixed via surgery at age 12}I have disk degeneration in my spine. Due to the hardware that has been present in my back since seventh grade, I am NOT a candidate for a  chiropractor. Physical therapy is limited due to my restricted range-of-motion in my lower spine. 

So what is a middle-aged gal with back full of metal to do? 

1. EXCERCISE!  I might be limited thanks to a Bionic Back, but I do make a point to walk at least two miles daily.  My physical therapist also told me that I CAN run on an elliptical machine, so on occasion I'll visit the gym near our home and run a mile on the elliptical.  I've discovered that having a young, active BIG dog in our life increased my strength-training in my arms, shoulders and core. 

2. LIFESTYLE CHOICES. I am a social drinker, but I only drink beer and wine. Also, I limit myself to two drinks per social event. I'm not a smoker nor do I vape. People { usually other women} ask me what my skin care secret is and I reply " No Smoking". My  fitness habit  helps my body and mind stay healthy, and I have never understood the appeal of tobacco. 

3. BE TRUE TO YOURSELF. Life is too short to be anything less than your best, most authentic self Also, surround yourself with people who love and encourage you . 

4. TEND TO YOUR SOUL. I know " organized religion" isn't for everyone and that's perfectly okay.  But each of us needs to tend to our inner selves, our souls/ consciousness/ spirit/ life force or however you define the human essence. 

     I am a Christian  { of the Episcopalian variety} , but I also feed my soul by tapping into both my Jewish heritage { my mother is Jewish} as well as Nature Appreciation. I find that involvement with my faith community helps keep me " grounded" in this crazy modern society. 

I hope this helps someone who is feeling at a loss with the ugly parts of middle-aged life. 

Shalom,

~Sarah

Middle age: The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly : Part One

This will be the first in a series on Middle Age. 

For the most part, I am " rocking" middle age. I've met the person wit whom I'm meant to spend my life, we live in a cute little house in a wonderful small city in North Florida. My parents are healthy and live not far from us, but far enough that I have my own identity other than " Dan's daughter" { my Dad is a wonderful guy-- and there is nothing wrong about being his daughter, but I like being ME}

 I do not know why society has such a focus on youth. After talking with others, I realize that many people DO NOT peak in their teens ore 20's. My teen years were nightmarish.

  For real, it is a miracle that I survived my 20's. Looking back, I realize now that a lot of my problem { along with not being prescribed the correct medications} was that I felt that I could not be TOTALLY myself. I am someone who is proudly left-of-center in her political leanings, it was not easy to find like-minded people in Beach Nowhere, Florida.  Additionally, when I DID meet some kindred spirits, they would pack up and move away. For the most of my second decade, I was partner-less, so at an age when most people are marrying I had been the perpetual singleton.  I've never been good at " dating" and did not desire a relationship

 Now my 20's were not all terrible.  I returned to college as a slightly older { not so much mature though} student nd made some wonderful memories.

 Middle age has allowed me to embrace my fierce warrior-woman persona. I am not tethered to raising children { or grandchildren}  so I'm able to accomplish my own goals.

  I've accepted that I will never have J-Lo's boobs and butt.  I've embraced my tall-leggy body as it was made , and learned to shop for clothing that fits my body, skin tone, and personal style.  I've been a make-up minimalist for years, and am pleased at how well my facial skin has { not} aged. Tinted moisturizer and lip gloss is all I need for my face.

 Middle-age  has been wonderful so far. But this  season of life is not without its pitfalls. More on that, tomorrow.

Peace
~Sarah

Love & Our Shadow Selves....

 Today's Gospel lesson  doesn't seem, upon a first look, to be " good news". At first , it seems like Jesus is giving His followers yet another set of rules to memorize. { as if Deuteronomy isn't enough rules! }

 Here is a sample of the sins that we are NOT to commit. 

ANGER 

"21 ^y“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ^z‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable ^ato judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that ^beveryone who is angry with his brother³ will be liable ^ato judgment; whoever insults⁴ his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to ^cthe hell⁵ of fire. 23 ^dSo if ^eyou are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. 25 ^fCome to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. 26 Truly, I say to you, ^gyou will never get out until you have paid the last penny.⁶ 

LUST 

27 ^h“You have heard that it was said, ⁱ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that ^jeveryone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 ^kIf your right eye ^lcauses you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into ^mhell. 30 ^kAnd if your right hand ^lcauses you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into ^mhell.

SWEARING OATHS 

33 “Again ^hyou have heard that it was said to those of old, ^q‘You shall not swear falsely, but ^rshall perform to the Lord what you have sworn.’ 34 But I say to you, ^sDo not take an oath at all, either by heaven, for ^tit is the throne of God, 35 or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is ^uthe city of the great King. 36 And do not take an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. 37 Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; ^vanything more than this comes from evil.⁷


Add commandments against divorce { always the woman's fault…} and retaliation to this list of sinful behaviors. There is a whole laundry list of possible infractions and their { somewhat gruesome} punishments. 

Okay, so what is the " good news" in these words of Jesus? I'm a seasoned Bible-studying Christian and these words make me feel uncomfortable. Honestly, the warnings against divorce  are archaic in their assumption that a married couple is of the opposite gender. 

I am grateful that the Jesus Whom I've come to know in community with other imperfect human  is a Jesus of LOVE.  Our Savior does expect us to " be your best self" { as one of my favorite Youtubers always says at the end of her videos} but in the end, we are called to love each other as God Incarnate loves us. 

While we are called to strive daily to avoid sin, Creator God knows how much we will screw up. We are encouraged to be mindful of our " shadow selves" parts of our psyche  that remain hidden 

Carl Jung says: "Unfortunately there can be no doubt that man is, on the whole, less good than he imagines himself or wants himself to be.  Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is” (Jung, 1938, p. 131).   Source www.mindfulmuse.com 

Jung continues " “To confront a person with his shadow is to show him his own light.  Once one has experienced a few times what it is like to stand judgingly between the opposites, one begins to understand what is meant by the self.  Anyone who perceives his shadow and his light simultaneously sees himself from two sides and thus gets in the middle” (Jung, 1959, p. 872).

For me , this is hard and scary work. Yet I am finding out how to live more into the light, as I begin to embrace those shadow traits. 

" “A man is whole only when he takes into account his shadow.”
― Djuna Barnes 
“I embrace my shadow self. Shadows give depth and dimension to my life. I believe in embracing my duality, in learning to let darkness and light, peacefully co-exist, as illumination.”

― Jaeda DeWalt 

This work is hard, but will be worthwhile. 

Peace and love always,

~Sarah 

When Words " Defile"

My priest used this passage from Matthew's Gospel yesterday during Mass. 

^"And he called the people to him and said to them, “Hear and understand: it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.” ¹² Then the disciples came and said to him, “Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this saying?” He answered, “Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be rooted up.  Let them alone; they are blind guides.^[a] And if the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit.” But Peter said to him, “Explain the parable to us.” And he said, “Are you also still without understanding?  Do you not see that whatever goes into the mouth passes into the stomach and is expelled?^[b] But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.⁹ For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a person. But to eat with unwashed hands does not defile anyone."~ Matt 15:10-20 

 After  reading the lesson, she  played a meditation on this passage that made me ponder the question of words' ability to " defile a person. 

  There is no doubt that we are in divisive times. As followers of the Light, perhaps we Christians are supposed to stay away from divisive talk-- in person and especially on social media.  Another priest I know posted online about how he is wary nd weary of the way that people use Facebook { and other social media} merely to post divisive political memes.  After a lot of soul-searching done in my own heart awhile back, I chose to be much more mindful of my words on social media.  

Words do have power, and we people-of-faith need to choose words carefully. A measuring stick for social media sharing that I use is" Does this reflect the love for ALL PEOPLE { even & especially those who are on the opposite political viewpoint from me?"  Using this policy, I've discovered that my entire social-media experience has been more positive & life-affirming.  While I do not COMPLETELY shy away from social-justice issues, I am careful  regarding the content of ANYTHING which others may perceive as ' political', and posting disclaimers of someone ** might** read  my post as " political" 

This policy has also brought me closer to the person I am at the core. I'm NOT  militant person, and when I fuel my righteous anger, I tend to become verbally combative. Truth be told, I really do not like myself when I am angry and combative. 

Yes, sometimes righteous anger is required-- without such anger, nothing will change. However, alienating people whose views differ from my own is NOT the way  for Christians and other people of conscious to come together to build better communities. 

Also, refraining from posting inflammatory political content to my social media platforms has also kept away people who enjoy " trolling" . Rather than reducing someone to status of Internet Troll, I've learned to open my eyes and heart to who they are regardless of their politics. By tossing aside politics, social media has become a platform for allowing me to see the goodness in people-- even if their politics do not align with my own. I see people who love their families, are passionate about their work and hobbies, and possess a deep faith in the same loving Creator as me. 

Words CAN and DO " defile" and we should be responsible with using them-- in person and ESPECIALLY on social media platforms. 

Let all we say and do be rooted in LOVE 

Peace,

Sarah

The First Amendment is for EVERYONE

Today I want to discuss the First Amendment to the Constitution of The United States Of America. As a person who majored in journalism in college, I take the rights that this amendment provides very seriously. 

 As a matter of fact, I take this amendment so seriously that in good faith, I cannot deny the White Nationalists who descended on our nation's capital in droves their right to the freedom of SPEECH ...to peaceably ASSEMBLE... 

  Now please do not misunderstand my point-- I am DISGUSTED by White Nationalism and find their message of hate ABHORRANT. I rack my brain trying to understand the sort of small-minded hatred that would lead a group of people to want to march down the street of our nation's capital city voicing that White Nationalists need to " take the country back". First of all, shouldn't logic dictate that Native American tribes are the ones who should be marching in DC in demand of their land back

  Even though I { and many people I know and love} find the message of neo-Nazism and White Supremacy disgusting, I cannot deny people their First Amendment rights. As long as their protests remain peaceful, anyone can organize a political demonstration.

  However, I read today that the State Legislature in West Virginia is trying to pass a law that will criminalize civil disobedience  against gas pipelines. This angers me, because if the First Amendment allows for White Supremist hate groups to assemble and peacefully express their message, environmentalists in West Virginia should also have that right.

  Yes, I agree with the environmentalists in The Mountain State and I find White Supremacy cowardly and disgusting, but they are BOTH protected by our Constitution.

  Protecting the first Amendment rights for ALL PERSONS is essential to maintaining a free society.

 

"I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it."

Evelyn Beatrice Hall

  Amen, sister! 

~Sarah