" Fearless" and flying again

                                           Dad and me... a long time ago. Western Pennsylvania farmhouse 

 My 2024 word is FEARLESS. 

Buckle up folks, this will be quite a journey!  I may or may not share some details of my " fearless" adventures when I was a student at West Liberty University {protecting the names of the guilty, of course}

My intention is to really live into this personality trait... to work towards re-engagement fully in life. 

For instance, I have not flown on an airplane since 2018. 

2019 was Cancer Year for Brian, so I had to stay close to home {I don't think we traveled anywhere that awful year} Procedures, appointments, radiation and chemo shots ruled that year. 

We had some big travel adventures for 2020, but... yup the pandemic came and grounded many people. My dear paternal grandmother died in December of that year, and COVID, and keeping Brian safe, took precedence over funeral travel. A cousin was kind enough to ZOOM the funeral, so we could virtually attend, but it was not the same. 

All this to say, I am leaning into the fearlessness of 2024 and booking a flight to Pittsburgh for my birthday weekend in May. 

This will be a short visit--- only three full days in the area. I'll mostly be with my Lake family--- people who are not relatives but, in many ways, more " family" than some of my blood kin. 

Covid, and the political scheme of this nation, have taught me who really is family. Real family members do not let things like partisanship ruin relationships. I've been on the receiving end of such no-contact from some people who I thought of as family and it hurt for a long time. Now I just quote my middle school student: " It's Whatev! "
 

I've never been a good air traveler. Even before COVID, I hated sharing recycled air with strangers for more than an hour. I'm also claustrophobic, so plane rides give me anxiety. Making connections in Atlanta has always been a crapshoot-- but I do seem to be luckier with a Charlotte connection. 

Then there is the issue of checking bags. Since I need more shampoo than a travel size, I must pay the airline more money for the privilege of stowing my suitcase below deck. 

Then there is the issue of my bionic spine... I set off the alarms every time that I pass through the metal detector. This means that I am subjected to a pat down from strangers. Neurodivergent people will understand how much this is slight torture from someone who detests strangers invading her personal space. 

Honestly, people... I could not hide a " piece" on my skinny body if I'd wanted to do so. Ther is no need to stare at my surgical scars to prove I am not carrying a weapon. 

All this to say is that I am embracing fearlessness and getting on that plane in May to see some of my people. Covid and " handsy" TSA agents be damned! I'm also not obligated to visit anyone, so I'll stick with the folks who have stuck with me! 

Onward...

~Sarahbeth McCarren

" Fearless" Prophet ?

                                           Little Sarabeth 1980's Myrtle Beach , SC

Recently, someone whom I love, respect, and trust said to me during one of our  conversations:

                                              "Sarahbeth, you are fearless. "

She is not wrong. I like to try new things, and I am always up for adventures. Oftentimes {in my youth} said adventures would land me in some sort of minor trouble. 

My bishop called me " a prophet". 

Again, he is not wrong. I've been known to boldly speak and act against injustices, while working towards causes that might benefit everyone. 

We all know what happen to prophets. They either die or are exiled from their home village. I do not want t o be a prophet. People think prophets are insane. 

Now, dear friends, I am afraid.

I am afraid for Florida's future. Normally I stay away from politics, but I'm stepping out of my comfort zone to state that the laws that the recent Florida legislature has passed and wants to pass are violations of human rights. 

I am afraid for the Black, Brown, Jewish, Muslim, and LGBTQ citizens of my state. 

There are new laws in Florida that restrict communication between teachers, , unpaid school volunteers {such as me}, and the K12 students we serve. 

I ardently worked to stop these laws from passing, appealing to people's sense of decency. It did not work, and it took an enormous amount of strength to finish the three days of text-banking. 

The student I mentor is an 8th grader in one of Florida's public schools. My student { we are not permitted to refer to them using personal pronouns} is of Asian descent. Under Florida law, if this young person shares with me instances of bullying due to race, I must tell the student that I am prohibited by Florida Law from discussing such matters. I then must refer the student to the school's guidance department. 

There are other restrictions, but the one regarding bullying and race could directly affect my student's well-being.

Here is an article from my local paper that outlines these bills, and the damage they do. 

https://www.pnj.com/story/news/politics/2023/05/17/desantis-signs-3-bills-targeting-transgender-gender-affirming-care-bathrooms-drag-shows/70227878007/

Here is another article about what Florida plans to do in 2024.

https://www.tallahassee.com/story/news/politics/2024/01/08/new-anti-trans-bills-law-florida/72119930007/

Y'all, this " Fearless Prophet" is afraid. I'm afraid for both Florida's present and her future. 

I'm afraid because all I can do is speak out against the injustices that are being legislated in the name of all people of Florida. 

I fear for the state in which my student will spend some formative teenage years. 

Most of all, I am afraid that no one else gives a damn.

Namaste, 

Sarahbeth 

AdventWord #Covanent

                                   Our Wedding Photo. I was so young-looking then By Ann W. 

Today's word is " Covenant."

According to the dictionary, the definition is " an agreement" or " to agree by lease, deed or other contract. 

Brian and I made a covenant with each other eight years ago. 

Marriage is wonderful, if it is with the right partner. 

Marriage is also work. It is not the perpetual state of bliss that Hallmark Christmas movies want people to believe. 

It is a binding contract with another person, the state, and {for people of faith} Creator God.  

In eight years, Brian and I have been thru several surgeries, a cancer diagnosis, deaths of close family members, and a move.

Creator God sent Godself , Jesus, as a reminder that God is, has been, and always will be here. 

This evening, we will remember that covenant as we celebrate God-as-human being born. 

Merry Christmas , everyone. 

Sarahbeth McCarren 

Christmas Eve/ Advent 4. 

" Merry Merry" versus " December Blues "

                                          Chapel set up for " Longest Night" service at church 

I love Advent. 

 I also love The Feast of The Nativity-- bot the evening liturgy on December 24 and the entirely different but equally wonderful Christmas Day liturgy on December 25. 

But I am NOT a fan of December. As the days get darker, and my Seasonal Affective depression gets worse, I struggle to find purpose and hope in a culture that gets entirely too over-commercialized at this time of year. 

In spite of the genuine joy found for most people, there is no doubt that these dark days, when the sun slowly stays away longer until December 21, bring some read sadness to many people. 

But there is hope in the darkness of December.  During the darkest week of the year in the Northern Hemisphere, a Child was born Who would change human history forever. He was born -- not to wealthy parents, but to a poor carpenter's wife. 

This Child would grow up to show humanity a new way, a Way of Love. 

It is okay if we are not always-- or really never-- into the tinsel trimmings of this month. As Followers of Christ, we find real joy in living into His Nativity-- and remembering what a Gift it is to call Him, Brother, Teacher and Savior. 

Merry Christmas, Friends. 

Sarahbeth McCarren 

Advent , 2023

The Gift of Music Lessons

                                            Photo of me at the gorgeous piano at my Atlanta family's home over Thanksgiving.  Photo by Barbara , aka Mom. 

Wednesday, November 29 marks the one-year anniversary of my piano study journey. 

I know folks are probably sick of me flooding social media with music-related content-- but hey-- I look at everyone's kids & grandkids every damn day. 

I get it . Progeny are blessings. 

But for those of us who find ourselves at midlife with no progeny {be this by choice or circumstance}, we often need to carve different paths for the second half of life.  Before anyone skewers me online for being " anti-parent" and " hateful"{yeah, this actually happened to me} I know how important parenthood is-- and I respect the good parents I know. 

But parenthood and grandparenthood are not in my path. At midlife, I've been given a wonderful chance to learn music-- piano music in particular.  I've always wanted to learn piano-- so realizing a lifelong dream at middle-age is an incredible blessing. 

I am not the easiest piano student. I'm neurodivergent, and part of my " crossed wiring" has me struggle with the right & left sides of my brain communicating effectively. Additionally, my eyes have trouble tracing-- which is why I could never play softball or tennis and am not-- as much as I tried-- a good basketball player. 

First of all, I'd like to thank Brian, my spouse. Without him, nothing I do would be possible, including music lessons. For nearly every Wednesday, Brian sits patiently while I am in my half-hour lesson, staring at the beautiful guitars, working crossword puzzles, or chatting with the staff. He's proud of me-- and I am grateful for his support. In addition to transporting me to my lessons, he puts up with my daily practicing-- and even says he enjoys listening to me. Often, I'll play the same phrase over and over, trying to perfect the notes and/or rhythm and timing. 

My teacher makes this possible too. While I am sure there are many wonderful piano teachers in the Pensacola area, having someone who understands the neurodivergent brain and can adjust the teaching methods to accommodate my needs is such a gift. 

Music education is so important. In this crazy, divided world, there are few things left that unite us as people. Music unites us-- and makes us human. From a spiritual perspective art-- any art-- allows us to co-create with our Creator. 

It is never too late to fulfil a childhood dream. And, since I've no obligations to children or grandchildren, I can more fully focus on music. I'm grateful that I can always find time to practice daily.  Brian and I designed a room that is mine. I call it the Music Room {Hats off to my late friend Lynne " Doc" Lauderdale -- she loved her own Music Room. }

Music gives me more self-confidence. There is a lot of satisfaction in learning something that teachers to me was " impossible" due to clumsy hands and short attention span. Interestingly, music study has improved my attention span. It has also improved my problem-solving abilities.  Sight reading songs before lessons can help with basic problem-solving skills. 

Music study has also brought more wonderful people into my life. Musicians love talking shop with other musicians, and I've gotten so much encouragement from other musicians I know. 

Making music is life-changing for me. 

With a song in my heart...

Sarahbeth McCarren 
 

A Complicated Stance

                                          Well, I'd never thought I'd make a public statement on the Israel/ Palestine conflict before... but here we are. 

M name is Sarahbeth. I stand with Israel. 

Normally I'd never make such a clear statement on such a controversial subject{I gave up politics on social media years ago and my life as been much better since then} 

However, as a Christian--- and a Christian with Ashkenazi Jewish DNA, I must stand with Israel. 

To me, this conflict is not about politics. I'm putting aside my understanding of Israel's complicated, controversial history in favor of standing up for what is morally right. 

As An American of Ashkenazi descent-- I understand all too well what state-sanctioned murder can look like. 

Murdering innocents of a people who you neither like nor trust is never okay. 

My forbearers were refugees from a cruel minority party that rose to power by murdering innocents. 

I support Israel because the horrors of the Holocaust are real-- in spite of what some deniers might insist. 

Israle hasn't always been right in every conflict-- especially in recent years. 

As an American, I am aware of this fact. 

As a person of faith, supporting Israel in this war is essential. 

State-sanctioned terrorism is never okay, and Hamas are terrorists. 

Let me also say that I've also never been a Zionist. I respect people I know, and love who think that Israel is blameless, but that is not what I see. 

My support of Israel is coming from a place of faith and a humanitarian concern rather than " playing politics" with Americans who see things differently. 

For we Christians, we are preparing to remember the birth of a baby.. a baby born to Jewish parents in a territory that was occupied by the Roman Empire. 

It is for that Baby's sake-- and for the sake of so many families torn apart by the actions of an evil group-- that I support Israel. 

Peace, friends...

Sarahbeth McCarren 

21 Nov 2023

Heavy Burdens.. and a safe space

 

                                           Brian and I walked the labyrinth on our church's campus thus afternoon.  Photo by Me . 

Happy Holidays, y'all. 

 Saying " Happy Holidays IS NOT a battle in the imagined " war on Christmas", it is merely acknowledging that many Americans celebrate a myriad of special days during these last two months of the Gregorian calendar year. 

But I digress {again} 

The holiday season, one that is rooted in joy and thanksgiving, is hard for many people. 

It is extremely difficult for many of us to live up to the Norman Rockwellish  portrayal of this time of year that Madison Avenue and Hallmark's Christmas Movie marathon tries to sell us. 

Scrolling through my Facebook feed, I see countless ads for " Black Friday " deals. Coming from retailing families on both sides of my lineage, there is NOTHING " fun about the Friday after our National Day of Thanksgiving. 

Furthermore, there is that White-washed, inaccurate, racist and harmful narrative about the " Pilgrims" landing here in search of religious freedom.  I've had to totally reframe T-Day from a national celebration to a personal one: the entire month of November is a month where I celebrate the bounty that The Divine has given to me in the waning year. 

All this to days that I struggle with Seasons al Depression during what marketers tell us is The Most Wonderful Time of the Year. 

Today I was really struggling with the seasonal depression, so Brian and I drove to our church and walked our beautiful outdoor labyrinth, which is set as the centerpiece of our Meditation Garden. 

This special, sacred PUBLIC place is the result of A LOT of dreamers ... and even more doers in my congregation.  While this place sits on the property of a Christian church, it is a place for all people to come, sit under the shady or carefully walk the beautiful labyrinth. This space was paid for and is maintained by generous volunteers in my congregation. 

Am I proud of this space? Yes!  

More importantly, I, like many others, need this space this season. While security measures leave many houses of worship locked, or at least monitored by security cameras, this outdoor meditation space is open twenty-four hours seven days per week. The two metal arbors welcome all who seek-- whatever they seek. It is here where people can commune with Nature. 

Plants, trees, and the Earth herself welcome world-weary humans and invite us to lay down our burdens and be reminded that we are enough.  

Before Brian and I walked the labyrinth, I picked up a heavy white stone and put it in the back pocket of my blue jeans. When I arrived at the center of the labyrinth, I placed the heavy white stone in the center of the labyrinth. As I made this simple gesture, I felt my burdens, at least the burdens that I carried today, lift. Turning around, I walked from the center towards the beginning of the labyrinth. 

In case any of my readers are clueless, as to what I am discussing, here is the dictionary definition of  labyrinth . 

I am grateful that this space exists in Pensacola, and I am even more grateful that it exists on the property of  St Christopher's Episcopal Church, Pensacola   

Namaste...

Sarahbeth McCarren 

Nov 17  2023