The Story Behind the Blessing Ring

                                  The " Blessing Ring" that is quite a conversation piece. 

Let me talk about my " Blessing Ring".  

One of my DOK {The Order of The Daughters of The King} sisters told our chapter {parish group of DOK women} about her " Blessing Ring" and the meaning behind it. 

There is a small gift shop just east of Pensacola in unincorporated Gulf Breeze, Florida. It is called Magdalene's, and the profits from the sale of items in this shop help women who are coming out of human trafficking situations.  

https://magdalenes.org/  
 

Anyway, the " Blessing Rings" are one of the shop's most-asked-for-items, and the idea is to wear the ring until another woman blesses you with sharing a little about her life's journey. After she shares with you, the idea is to give her your ring to wear. When the time is correct, she will pass the ring to someone else. 

I bought my ring shortly after a friend shared a part of her story with me. I wear the ring daily on the ring finger of my right hand to remind me of the sacred bonds of trust that is the territory of genuine friendships between women. 

To be honest, I've always found making friends with men {boys when I was a child} than women. Women's ability to be catty and our tendencies to not include " odd girls" scare the crap out of me: when guys have a " what you see is what you get " attitude towards friendships. When I was still dating, men scared me. But men-as-friends {even now} seems much more natural for me. 

When I look at my Blessing Ring, I am reminded of the women in my life who are friends. Not mere acquaintances, but friends. It matters not how long I've known someone, but the level of trust I have with her {yes, two of my best gal pals from childhood are my " ride-or-die " gals, but they are the exception rather than the rule. My Blessing Ring reminds me that friendship is a two-way street: it requires something of me as well as from the other woman. 

As aside: I adore my DOK chapter: they've helped me reframe many of my poor experiences with women, and I love each of them dearly for who God made her to be. Th fact that we take vows to live in a very intentional community of women might help us trust each other more. 

It is hard to be human in these days: and it is even harder to be a woman or girl.  It is hard to be a woman who doesn't trust other women, but I hope that my new therapist will help me address this issue. 

Be a blessing, not a burden. I'll try to do the same. 

Trinity Sunday 2023

Sarah Beth McCarren 

Sabbath time In The Mountains

                                          Grandfather Mountain Swinging Bridge 2021

I need a break. 

 I am an introvert with some neurodivergence. People are exhausting, and I need to think about introducing some boundaries in my life. I plan to spend time away using an old-fashioned pen and paper journal to write down thoughts, emotions, and anything else that comes to my mind. 

Thankfully, Brian and I will join some other family members.in Western North Carolina for a full week of the Mountain Cure. Pensacola is home, but I am an Appalachian Mountain gal at heart. There is something sacred about spending time in those ancient mountains that makes my soul sing. 

During this time, I'll take a wonderful mini-sabbath from " screen-time" and ESPECIALLY social media. Since my phone lacks a huge memory card, I will dump the day's photos to Facebook daily, Yet I'll NOT post anything else, nor will I lurk. More importantly, my Direct messenger will be OFF.  I'm not posting to Instagram, only Facebook. 

Additionally, {other than a few select close friends and my priest} I'm not answering text messages or telephone calls on my phone. { I HATE talking on the phone anyway} 

I'm planning to focus on being with Creator God, the family members who will be present there with me, and myself. Everything and everyone else can wait until I return home to Pensacola. 

The details are sketchy, but I need to also use this as a spiritual retreat.  My prayer book is already packed, and I plan to read Life Together by Bonhoeffer. All of my Bibles are too bulky for travel, but our Book of Common Prayer is overwhelmingly derived directly from Scripture. 

I'm packing my ukulele and instruction book. Piano is my first musical love {of course}, but I cannot easily transport my full-sized electronic piano to the mountains. Music is healing, and I've several drills and three songs that I am learning to play on the uke. 

" The mountains are calling, and I must go." ~ John Muir 

Shalom { this word is that can be used ANYONE who understands its meaning, I use it a lot because of its universal appeal}

Sarah Beth McCarren 
 

Learning to Make Music as An Adult

                                            Playing my ukulele. I am firstly a piano student but have taken up the uke { self-teaching} as a secondary instrument. Photo by Brian 

Many women I know post about their children and grandchildren This is fine, but since I do not have either, I cannot join in the mom and grandma brag posts. Before anyone gets in my Kool-Aid and calls me " hateful", I admire parents-- and good parents are blessings. I have nothing against parents. {However, the over-commercialization of Mothers' Day is fodder for another essay} Mothers and fathers are essential for the survival of our species, because we cannot {yet} grow a complete human from one undifferentiated cell. No matter what people might say about me, I am not anti-mother. 

I have my own brag posts: I call them #Pianonotes . I'm sure people are already tired of them, and that is fine: Scroll on.

 Please understand that I came into this world with the aid of forceps', a tool that resembles kitchen tongs. 

My mom's doctor somehow thought that yanking a fragile human neonate from her mother's womb by her skull was a brilliant idea. Really-- I know the 1970's were a different time, but whomever dreamed up the idea of delivering human infants with kitchen tongs should have at least lost their medical license. 

I am one of the more fortunate people who entered this life in these circumstances, but my birth trauma did leave some permanent damage. 

I've been taking piano lessons for several months, and in doing so am realizing a lifelong dream of learning to play the piano.

Piano study has been good for me. My biggest challenge with studying piano is not learning the music. Since my hands are " clumsy" and my right and left body hemispheres do not communicate well {I do not drive nor ride a bicycle for this reason, it is not safe} physical coordination is hard for me. 

Anyway, back to music. Piano study is not only very good for me physically-- for the first time I WANT to do an activity that serves as " physical therapy" of sorts. Actually, the fact that I was born with clumsy hands would have been more of a reason to enroll me in piano lessons as a child.  But again, the brain science that was available to parents, teachers and doctors was in its infancy. 

As an adult music student, I am at a disadvantage, as adult brains are less " plastic" than the brains of young people. I overcome this with being naturally.... persistent {some say " stubborn," and they are not wrong} I need to work harder than a beginning piano student whose brain is still forming-- and deal with a neurodiverse brain. 

I think that my dedication and drive come from the fact that I am doing something-- making music-- that no one thought I could do. 

Will I be a virtuoso? No. I know this fact, my husband knows, and my teacher knows.  Music study for the sake of making music should be the norm: not every person is made to be a concert musician-- no matter how early they start their musical journey. 

Will music improve some neural pathways that have been damaged? Absolutely. 

Another aspect of music study that I did not count on is my increased self-confidence. Learning a new thing-- especially as an adult with some neurological challenges-- is empowering. One of the reasons that I chose to self-teach the ukulele is the confidence I have with learning to play the piano.  Fretted instruments are entirely different than the piano, but I can apply the same basic music theory to improve those neural pathways by using my hands and fingers in a different music-making way. I bought a beginning ukulele instruction book that has lessons with several popular tunes. 

I'm teaching myself, so the uke progress is slower. This is fine with me: I'm doing this for the sheer joy of making music. 

Piano is my first musical love, but I am also enjoying teaching myself the ukulele. Another aspect of learning the uke that I like is its portability. I cannot easily take my piano with me, but my concert-sized uke is extremely portable. Right now, I am perfecting some songs using the C, G7 and F chords to play for my family when we are in the North Carolina mountains for our hiking trip. 

I'm grateful for the ability to learn music at midlife. 

Yes, I will talk about it a lot. 

Shalom...

Sarah Beth McCarren 

Pentecost 2023

 

Telling Stories

                                             Because telling stories is important, here is a photo of me at a place that is VERY special to MY story: the mountains of Western North Carolina . Photo by Brian. 

                                      "I believe that telling our stories, first to ourselves and then to one another and the world, is a revolutionary act. It is an act that can be met with hostility, exclusion, and violence. It can also lead to love, understanding, transcendence, and community."

- Janet Mock, "Redefining Realness"

Whomever Janet Mock may be, she is correct. Storytelling is a lost art, and an art that is connected to our very humanness.

I am, by nature, a storyteller. My undergraduate major was journalism: professional storytelling. No matter wat you might have heard I did NOT major in journalism to avoid math Okay, that was an added bonus of my major field of study, as have dyscalculia and HATE math. I love words-- and words are powerful.

At church, I spent five wonderful program years serving the parish's youngest people in Godly Play {TM} a Christian education program that uses both sacred storytelling time and Montessori-based classroom techniques. I loved this work: preparing the stories each week was a spiritual practice for me--a practice that made me look at beloved Bible stories with a new lens.

As " People of the Book" our faith centers around stories that were passed down and can be traced back to our early Jewish ancestors in the Middle East.

As part of the EfM { Education for Ministry } program, students are required to share their " spiritual autobiography-- how they see where God acted in their life--each year during the four-year extended learning program out of The University of the South. This is hard work. Vulnerability is hard, but doing so in a safe environment allows for members of the seminar group to understand their classmates' perspectives. During my EfM journey-- in which I went through three churches over seven years { that is another story entirely} my story changed.

Stories are fluid.

My social media-- and the social media of others--can be a means to tell our personal stories. Since we are all human and--- thanks be to God-- different, our stories can {and will} make others scratch their heads in confusion. If we are not careful with the words we choose on social media, others can misconstrue our words and interpret them in a way that is not what we intend.

At the same time, each of us own our stories and should tell them as we see fit. I'll repeat: our stories belong to us and us alone. We choose how, when and to whom we tell parts of these stories. My blog is a means by which I share my story with the world. No one must read it{As far as I know, my words are not required reading for any college course.}

Other people's stories should be held in strict confidence. Not long ago someone blessed me with a part of their story that is hard for them to share. I thanked this person for trusting me with this information and assured them that it stays with me.

Tell your story as you see fit. Listen to others' stories without judgement. Don't gossip. Assume nothing.

We ALL are storytellers.

Amen.

Sarah Beth McCarren

May 20, 2023

 

Hiking as spiritual practice

                                             One of my favorite hiking photos of Brian and me. Grandfather Mountain, NC 

"Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman."

- Maya Angelou

 I love to hike. Brian and I spend a lot of time hiking around our Pensacola, Florida home. Our part of the state is home to several diverse biomes. We even have *** some*** elevation--Our house in town is located 101 feet above sea level. 

 I grew up in the ridge-and-valley Appalachian Mountains near Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and most of my free time as a child were spent in the woods.   My first woodland playground was on " the path" -- which was on an empty lot that the neighbors graciously let neighborhood children claim as our own. Later it was exploring the rugged woodland paths on my godparents' property during my days off from working at their recreational park during summers of my teen years and very early adulthood. 

 

Let's face it, I am the embodiment of a Celtic wood nymph! 

One of the reasons why hiking appeals to me is the discovery of wonders of Creation along new trails. While hiking familiar spots, such as Grandfather Mountain in western North Carolina, is also satisfying, there is a special sense of accomplishment that comes with A} discovering new hiking trails and B} conquering new trails. 

Hiking can be seen as a spiritual practice-- because venturing into the woods -- a wilderness-- takes trust. Hikers need to trust their hiking buddies, their shoes {very important to have sturdy and reliable footwear on hikes} their map and {or app} Hikers also need to be aware of the weather, be on the lookout for dangerous wildlife and poisonous plants and walk mindfully. 

Taking long, vigorous walks in the woods is a spiritual practice. Hikers are in the middle of God's beautiful Creation-- and {hopefully} slowing down enough to appreciate the surroundings. Additionally, trust is employed each time we modern humans venture into the woods. 

I'd choose walking in the woods or along the coast over the big-city indoor urban jungle any time.  I feel the most " Sarah Beth" when I'm outdoors because I am in the company of    the great " I Am". 

Happy Hiking, friends....

Sarah Beth McCarren 

May 11, 2023

A Weird Day

                                       Labyrinth at St Christopher's Episcopal Church, Pensacola, FL. 

Today is a weird day. It is the day that I went into a day surgery center and almost did not make it out alive. 

Apparently, several medical people informed me that I suffered a severe vasovagal syncope episode {otherwise known as fainting.} Fainting occurs when a person's blood pressure drops. Normally, someone who faints will come to consciousness in less than a minute.  It is rarely a medical emergency that can be life-threatening. 

However, this was not the case for me one year ago today. I was sitting in the prep area, cold, hungry, thirsty, and grumpy when a nurse stuck me with an IV needle. 

I blacked out, and what my soul experienced when my blood pressure dropped to dangerous levels Brian cannot seem to remember, but he said the bottom number was 45 or 50. 

 In other words, I was damn close to death. 

 I do not know what happened on this side, buy I do know what my soul experienced near the veil. 

 Soul life beyond the veil is perfect. At the risk of sounding crazier than people already believe me to be, I'm not sharing exactly what my soul experienced during this medical emergency.  This event only makes sense scientifically. I'm fully aware of the physiology of this emergency situation. My blood pressure dropped too low, and my heart rate plummeted. The team injected Epinephrine into my IV and I woke with a jolt. 

 Honestly, it was the rudest " awakening" I've experienced. I remember a male voice saying over and over " Stay with us, Sarah, Stay with us. "

 Once again, I was cold, hungry and grumpy. 

 I do know that I am still alive because there is unfinished business here on this plane. 

In the year since this event happened, I've made some changes. 

Life is short, and no one's tomorrow is a sure thing. 

I'm still here. 

Sarah Beth McCarren 

    
 

A Musical Family

                                                    Brian's new-to-him Gretsch guitar 

We are a musical family. 

I'm on the piano, and last week, we bought Brian a well-cared-for Gretsch guitar. He had played some as a much younger person and has been staring at the guitar displays every time we go into our local full-line {they do EVERYTHING, sales, repairs, lessons, audio, piano moving-- you name it!} and locally owned music store. I take lessons there, so he had plenty of time to drool at all the guitars. 

Shameless plug : Blues Angel Music . 

If COVID taught me anything, it is that Life Is Short  . We figured out that we could sell a few of his well-loved but very seldom used outdoor hobbyist gear and use that money to buy his guitar. Someone else can now afford a decent hunting rifle {I'm relieved he never got into that sport, as I am very nearly a total vegetarian.} and some of his heavy fishing tackle. {He still likes to fish, but not as often nor needing the strong rod-and-reel setups. }

You must have a room, or a certain hour or so a day, where you don’t know what was in the newspapers that morning, you don’t know who your friends are, you don’t know what you owe anybody, you don’t know what anybody owes to you. This is a place where you can simply experience and bring forth what you are and what you might be. ~Joseph Campbell

I actually DO have a room where I go at least once each day. My music room is a sacred space, a place where I go to leave the troubles of this messed-up world behind. A " sanctuary" need not be a place of worship, my music room is a safe place for me to go to just be-- even if I don't touch the piano keys. 

                               Pardon the " mess" , but this is my Music Room" As you can tell, it is Sarah."

Music is ' not " extra". Music is essential to maintain our humanity-- especially in this divided world. Music unites us-- there is a style of music that can suit anyone. 

Music education is also essential. I only have one regret: that I waited until middle age to start taking lessons. I'll never be a great pianist, and I am okay with this fact. I'm grateful now to have a small repertoire of songs that I am confident enough to play-- without much thinking on my part. 

Here is an interesting article on the therapeutic effects of playing piano. 

https://coltharppianoworld.com/why-piano-playing-is-therapeutic/

Even though private piano lessons are NOT " therapy: I've noticed a big improvement in my hand-eye coordination in the few months that I've been taking lessons. The hope is for my right-brain and left-brain halves to communicate better-- but that will take time. Using two hands at the same time is a big struggle for me, so I am grateful that there is no timeline. I'm learning at my own pace with a patient teacher. 

It is fun watching Brian play his guitar-- he remembers a lot from years ago and the gently used guitar has a GREAT sound. I enjoy listening to Brian play chords on his guitar as much as I enjoy sitting down at my piano and making my own music. 

I'm wishing everyone, peace, love and music this weekend. 

Amen. 

Sarah Beth McCarren

2 Easter 2023