A Poem. {Which might ge me put in FB Jail for the first time }

I wrote a poem today. This is my FIRST poem in 15 years, so I am a wee bit rusty in that genre. But after last night's leak of the draft of the SCOTUS 's opinion on overturning Roe V Wade, I HAD to speak out. Someone whom I admire and whose works feed my soul reminded me that prophets in Scripture spoke truth to power via poetry. 

I'm in good company, amiright?  

There isn't much I can do with what will probably happen . However, if I learned anything in these weird times we've been in, I've learned the power of a few dedicated citizens.  In the words of rock group Twisted Sister 

"We're not gonna take it

No, we ain't gonna take it
We're not gonna take it anymore

We've got the right to choose, and
There ain't no way we'll lose it
This is our life, this is our song

We'll fight the powers that be, just
Don't pick on our destiny 'cause

You don't know us, you don't belong.." 

Here is MY poem... after a 15 year hiatus.............................................

Compartmentalization: A Poem

" My body, My choice" they cried..

refusing to take a series of vaccines

protecting themselves

and OTHERS

brought to them by reputable science

No charge.

FREEDOM FIRST they cried...

as people continued to fall ill

some dying,

others permanently and adversely

affected

by a preventable illness.

All the time not masking

standing at the altar

of false ideals

of what " freedom" means.

" MY BODY, MY CHOICEe I cry...

standing in solidarity

with uterus-owners everywhere.

watching scared and angry

as old men

and one crazy bitch

strip away body agency

with the stroke of a pen.

Sarah Elizabeth McCarren

3 May 2022

#MYBODYMYCHOICE

 

#Unpacking: I am Enough

                  This year's " found treasure" from the women's retreat.  I claimed it because this weekend of celebrating the enfleshment of the Triune Holy One reminds me that I am " perfectly " made in the Divine image and also invited to dance with Them. Photo by The Pensacola Hippie

I dedicated today to unpacking and putting away things from the retreat. In that spirit-- I committed to " unpacking" a wee bit about what I experienced that year. Each St Christopher's Annual Women's Retreat is special, and each year I come back with a better experience of The Holy. 

   This year's theme was " Divine Dance" We explored that theme in many different ways, from worship to dance/ movement activities in both large and small groups, to baking bread using things from the Earth we inhabit.

 During some Saturday afternoon free time, I took a slow walk around the gorgeous Camp Beckwith campus. Something shiny on one of the picnic tables near the bay caught my eye. Sine shiny things attract me, I stopped to look at the lovingly painted oyster shell with the words YOU ARE ENOUGH   painted in a gold-colored craft paint. Sensing that I needed this message, I picked up the shell. 

Early the next morning I had some time to journal in my room. I recalled how hard it is for me, at middle-age, to feel like I am enough-- just as God made me. My physical body is far from society's idea of " perfect". Learning to accept this reality is hard-- as I've always been active.  I'm far from sedentary, but my fitness routine has evolved to suit an aging vessel. 

I cannot bear children from my womb {and it is now Mother's Month, which is a whole other essay which I probably won't write} My back-- with all its rods and screws, requires twice yearly injections to keep me walking with no pain and with a safe balance. My eyes now require trifocals.  And the latest #LifeAsSarah diagnosis is one that had my blood pressure and pulse dangerously low because my vagus nerve {the nerve that runs from the bottom of the brain to the lower gut area} will misfire signals that affect my heart. 

That is some scary shit. Since God still wants me to dance with Them, I am making some major diet and lifestyle changes. 

Physically, I feel broken. My body simply cannot do some of the activities it did at a younger age. each May, I'm inundated with pleas to   " make her day on Mother's Day" as I plan to quietly sit alone in church and seethe. 

That small find on the campus of God's Front Yard affirmed that I, in all my physical brokenness, am enough. I, like my healthier sisters around the world, am also invited to dance with the Divine Three. God cares not what a person's physical body can or cannot accomplish, They only care that we humans spend some time dancing { whatever dancing might look like for each person according to ability} with Them. As Bishop Russell Kendrick, of The Diocese of the Central Gulf Coast, says God made you { me} God knows you{ me} God loves you { me}. 

 You are enough. I am enough

 God invites us all to dance, and They delight when we accept the invitation. 

Amen

Sarah McCarren

2 May 2022

After a Social Media " Mini-fast".

                                 Rainbow over Weeks Bay in Alabama. In the spirit of retreat, I took a " mini-fast" from social media & news: Opening my phone to ONLY post updated photos for memory-preserving. Photo By The Pensacola Hippie 

Today I returned home after a WONDERFUL weekend in beautiful bayside Beckwith Camp and Conference Center in coastal Alabama. 

In the spirit of TOTALLY being present with Creator God and the other women attending the retreat, I took a short break from social media and news outlets. For many reasons, the 2022 Womens' Retreat would be a holy, healing time & I did not need any distractions from my phone. To prepare for my brief fast, I uninstalled all social media apps from my phone. Upon my return home today, I only reinstalled Instagram. I discovered tat Facebook Messenger was a distraction that I no longer need nor want in my life. I'm keeping Messenger on my laptop ONLY--allowing me to be more present ** and** share photos of life's joys. 

For the most part, I am a huge fan of social media. Yet after two years of living " behind a screen" and wearing masks around people I know and love, I sought a way to remove a barrier to being FULLY PRESENT with Adonai and the beloved people around me . 

                                Me with my small group. Photo by Jennifer B. 

I enjoy social media.  Yet I know that most Americans-- including me-- over-use social media.  There were some wonderful moments this weekend that are too sacred to share--- moments that will stay etched on my soul. 

Regarding " news", I am very careful with what I consume. During the worst of the pandemic, I was forced to consume every detail about the new virus-- and it poisoned my soul. Thankfully, I am married to someone who is a news hound, and he knows to share with me only what I must know as a responsible citizen. To be away from the 24-hour news cycle was balm for my soul. In order to keep this fast, I made a point of not asking Brian what is happening around the nation and in the world -- I am fortunate enough to have a spouse who understands that when I say I need a break-- I need a BREAK. 

I'm glad I had this sacred time away-- and with no distraction. 

Happy Easter/Beltane, friends. 

Amen. 

Sarah Elizabeth McCarren

1 May 2022

Lent While Lenting 2022

                                            Yellow Rose Photo by The Pensacola Hippie 

Here we are: It is Fat Tuesday, 2022. Lent begins tomorrow-- a time for we Christians to seek a deeper relationship with The Divine. 

To be honest, I feel like I've been " living Lent" since spring 2019. Brian's cancer diagnosis came at that time & it rocked my faith and took me on a journey that I would not wish on anyone.  Thankfully, Brian is cancer -free now. In addition to Cancer's unwanted visit to our home, we've {along with everyone else} been stuck in Pandemic Holding Pattern for two long years. What once was a " lay low for two weeks" request became a months-long lockdown, followed by months more of restricted activity. 

Honestly, this is the Lentiest I've ever felt. While I DO wish to get closer to Creator God-- at the same time I feel like my call to be a good citizen-- keep others safe by seriously curtaining my life-- has been one BIG fast. 

I'm tired and angry, y'all. These past two years of Pandemic Life has shown me a seriously messed up underbelly of humans {those who STILL will not mask & get their shots} a near takeover of the US government by radicals, and no we are looking at the possibility of World War 3. 

My cup is empty. This season, I am employing practices that bring me closer to The Creator by filling my soul with gratitude, forgiveness and hope.  After three {and counting...} of living life in a ' fight or flight" mode, I am in need of refreshment and renewal. 

One of the ways that I'll cleanse my achy soul is by making use of the Rite of Reconciliation that is found in the Book of Common Prayer on Thursday. It is my hope and prayer that, by confessing my sins to a loving Creator in the presence of my priest I can relieve the sins of anger and resentment. Through the Pandemic, I've " sucked it up" for my own safety and the safety of others and I am DONE with self-sacrifice My priest is a person-- one of the few-- whom I trust completely, and I know she'll guide me through the process of feeling God's forgiveness and forgiving myself.  It is hard to find specific words to name my destructive emotions-- especially after holding most of it within myself for so long. Suffice it to say that I AM DONE BEING YOUR " GOOD SPORT".  I want nice things, and I deserve nice tings after giving up while others walk mask-less and now vaccine-less. 

Praying with and for the people of Ukraine. 

Amen

Sarah McCarren

Mardi Gras 2022

#PrayersForUkraine

 I woke this morning to news that I'd been expecting over the last five years. Russia attacked Ukraine. 

I am scared shit-less.  Putin has had way too much support over the past few years, and he now is trying to re-create the USSR-- the same USSR that we generation-X people remember & would rather forget. 

All I can do-- all anyone can do from where we sit in the States, is pray. 

I pray for the people who are in harm's way. 

I pray that the Congress will tread carefully and discern the safest way to deal with Russia's aggression

I pray that the infrastructure ere in this nation stays intact-- including our Internet & communications highways. Earlier today Brian& I experiences a brief but total Internet outage -- the first thought was " damn those Russians. Cyber war is a threat that needs to be taken seriously right now. Since all of our infrastructure runs via computer--a massive Internet outage can be a disaster.   

I give thanks for peacekeepers and pray that the situation can be resolved without escalating into World War 3. 

My rector, a retired Army colonel, wrote these words in a pastoral letter to our congregation today. 

"I pray for the ethical decision making of military leaders; for the combatants on both sides, who get caught up in a war not of their choosing. 

And I ask the Prince of Peace, that his Spirit of Peace would guide leaders into the wisdom of rational cooperation. That somehow, there would not be an escalation." ~Reverend Colonel 

Friends, we all are interconnected.  What happens across the globe has direct ramifications for the world's population. 

No matter who we voted for back in November of 2021, now we need to unite as Americans and as humans & pray for a safe de-escalation of the situation in Ukraine. We need to hold up our siblings in that nation-- pray for their protection & that the loss of life be minimal. 

In the Name of the Holy Trinity...

Sarah McCarren

2/24/22

#DIOCGC22 Back, and in-Person

                                           2022 is a better year. Photo by Brian. 

After two years away, I am happy to report that I am attending this year's Convention of The Episcopal Church in The Central Gulf Coast. As someone wo is ** not** a voting delegate, I am not required to tune into tonight's business session via Zoom. Amen to this-- as I hate Zoom & would have tuned in if needed but am grateful for the pass this year. 

Brian & I already packed and took care of various household needs, so to get an early start on our day trip over to Fort Walton Beach, Florida. 

\I got my hair trimmed & found an adorable dress at Beall's Outlet. For almost two years, tere was no need to buy new clothes, so I took this opportunity for some retail therapy. 

 Michael Curry+, the Presiding Bishop of The Episcopal Church, is the guest keynote speaker. I'm looking forward to Brian's first chance to meet him & am also waiting to tell him that I KNEW years ago {he was the guest bishop at a Convention here} that he would end up as our Presiding Bishop. 

Also, I am totally stoked to get to see many loved ones from around my Diocese-- most of whom I'd not seen since this Pandemic arrived on our shores. I know that the organizers of the in-person portion of the Convention have done their due diligence regarding COVID safety. 

If you are on Instagram, I will post photos there. My IG handle is : the_pensacola_hippie . 

Peace...

Sarah McCarren

february 17 2022. 
 

St Brigid & Growing up " Both/And"

                                             My altar at home. St Brigid features permanently. Photo by The

                                              Pensacola Hippie. 

Today is February 1, 2022. 

It is, in Celtic Druid spirituality, the feast of Imbolc-- halfway to the Spring Equinox. The days are getting longer and here in Florida, we are seeing less " Florida Winter Weather. " Brian and I are tending to our rose garden and he is planning which crops he will plant in our raised-bed garden. 

 Brigid is one of three major Celtic Christian saints. 

For many Christians, today is the feast day of St Brigid of Ireland. Brigid was born in Ireland -- the daughter of Druid chief and his Christian slave. One of the traits I share with this saint-- other than a love of nature and expressing my faith by service with and to others is an interfaith upbringing. Brigid's mother taught her about Jesus and Brigid became a Christian. Yet she understood her Druid heritage 

Growing up interfaith was mostly a blessing for me.  Yet sometimes being " both/and"--having one foot in the Christian world and one foot in Judaism - was a lonely space for me. Everyone I knew went to church on Sunday or Shabbat services at synagogues. Most of churchgoing relatives & friends at that time were Catholic, so this meant that they {along with my Jewish kin} had Religious Education classes on weekends. The McCarren Weekend rituals included cartoons on Saturday and watching _Sunday Morning_ with Charles Kuralt with the parents. 

Many of my peers had religious coming-of-age rituals {such as First Communion for my Catholic Christian friends & a Bar or Bat Mitzvah for Jewish young people} It was hard identifying as " both/and while also feeling like a religious imposter. 

 Even today-- 25 years after my baptism into Christianity-- I still have imposter syndrome. Thankfully, I belong to a church community that celebrates our individual faith walks-- that all baptized persons can claim Christianity. I've met one handful of people who share the experience of either growing up in an interfaith household or having a spouse of a different faith. As an adult, I am grateful for the opportunity to choose my own faith path--- and using that experience as being sort of a " bridge" between we Christians and our Jewish neighbors. 

Within the past four years or so, I've been exploring the Jewish roots of Jesus. The Savior of the world and myself share one thing--we were born to Jewish mothers.  While I am a Christian, part of my DNA is Ashkenazi Jewish and {according to Jewish law} am a member of the Jewish community for life. While I am a Christian, my interfaith experience has shaped and continues to shape me as a walk with Christ now. 

St Brigid shows me that the gift of being " both/and" comes with its own unique baggage. But I also hope that God will show ways to use me as a bridge-builder in a culture that seems to continue to place walls between us and our neighbors.  Jewish journalist and professor mark Oppenheimer said that the best way for people of faith to really learn about each other is to visit each other in their worship space on any average week. I've been blessed to witness several Jewish rites of passage rituals and I feel that my Christian faith is strengthened from these experiences. 

In the Name of the Holy Three....

Sarah McCarren

1 February 2022

The Collect for Brigid of Kildare O God, whose servant Brigid, kindled with the flame of your love, became a shining light in your Church: Grant that we also may be aflame with the spirit of love and discipline, and walk before you as children of light; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.