Advent Word #Turn

   

                                                        Unknown source for graphic. 

Today's word is: TURN. 

To be honest, the first thought that I had when I got today's word were the lyrics to a song by The Byrds. 

To everything turn, turn, turn
There is a season turn, turn, turn
And a time to every purpose under heaven

A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace
A time to refrain from embracing

Yeah 2020 started out rather normally for most people in the US. Then March roared in carrying a deadly and new virus. The nation literally shut down while the brightest minds in medical research worked to understand this strange ' bug'. 

In March of this year--- society took a turn for the worst.  As the medical community began to understand more about how to keep safer from COVID, " freedom fighters" everywhere refused to wear the masks and stay out of big groups. Some states' governors got on board with the medical data and mandated masking in public.  However, Florida is not one such sensible state. Our neighbor to the north & west , Alabama, issued masking while our governor  pandered to the lowest common denominators of his citizenry-- the Science Deniers. 

One by one, people were forced to " lay down" things in the name of public health. Even funerals became virtual as sensible bishops dictated that Episcopal churches follow strict safety guidelines, The entire second semester of last school year was moved online , and parents struggled to find childcare options for their home-schoolers. 

Commerce suffered, as people could not get out-- or chose to sensibly stay home. 

In September, Pensacola and Baldwin County, Alabama bore the brunt of a hurricane that took a sharp, sudden #turn East at the last minute. This turn caused devastation to private & public property-- the biggest calamity as the broken Three Mile Bridge.  As the storm raged, our beautiful coastline turned into a disaster zone--- which it still is due to COVID & the lack of aide from the federal government.

Yup,. 2020 has been full of unseen turns. 

A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time for love, a time for hate
A time for peace, I swear it's not too late.....

As we move into the Fourth week of Advent, 2020 there are signs that we'll soon take a turn for the better. Slowly, people are able to line up to receive the newly-approved COVID vaccine. the new Administration is shaping up to bring in a much-needed positive turn of national discourse.  Human rights that were challenged are being upheld. 

Slowly, there is a turn towards hope. For Christians, Jesus is Hope Incarnate.  His life, death and resurrection reflects  our story as People Of God. 

Let us turn towards that Hope and lean into it this week. 

Amen

Sarah McCarren 

Advent 4 2020

Advent Word #Bless

One of my biggest  blessings is the life together with the people who meet regularly for worship here.  Photo by The Pensacola Hippie. 

Today's word is : BLESS. 

During this weird year, it can be hard to find the blessings. Nothing is normal. People are still dying from COVID and many still refuse to practice good pandemic safety. 

Yet life blesses us. 

 My life, in spite of all the COVID restrictions, continues to be blessed by my parish community.  On Wednesday evening Brian and I attended an Advent Taize service at church.  This was a place and time that we, the St Christopher's Young { Youngish} Adults created intentionally for people to " lay down" their laments.  During the music { provided by three gifted masked singers} people were invited to move around the church and stop at three interactive prayer stations. 

One of the three prayer stations at Wednesday evening's Advent Taize service.  Photo by The Pensacola Hippie. 

 In spite of this hideous year-- my parish manages to bless each other and the wider Pensacola community. It s true that 2020 has been a year of loss--- in several ways--- but I am reminded that it is the people in our lives with whom we choose to associate who bless us. 

  " Community" looks different right now. However, 2020 did not stop the blessings coming. 

  Amen. 

~Sarah

 

#AdventWord #Learn

                                         e. e. cummings quote that is one of my favorite sayings. 

Today's word is LEARN. 

 Giving the amount of suckitude of this calendar year, I can easily list the lessons I have learned from 2020. 

  Family is so important. Furthermore, " family" isn't merely those with whom you share DNA: some of my most life-giving familiar bonds are those with whom I share life. 

  I am an introvert. The cancellations of big public events and the lack of public gatherings does not hurt my soul But, as a strong " intuitive feeler", I crave being physically present with people I know & love-- even if COVID precludes touching each other. I miss small gatherings that had been pre-Covid staples of life, such as church & civic activities. I miss serving meals to the needy at a soup kitchen. I miss shopping locally for special gifts from local artisans. I miss the occasional quiet lunch in a restaurant with my spouse--- take-out food is not quite the same experience. 

  I've learned that worshipping on a screen is hard for me. gain, there is so much " work of the people" that occurs during an Episcopal Sunday experience that it gets watered down to another spectator activity. The only time in my entire life that church ever felt like a ' chore' was when everyone was on lockdown. My tradition's style includes engagement of more than just eyes and ears. 

  Touch and eye contact with other people is part of our experience as higher animals. Human communication is much more complicated than mere sounds. If there is a lesson I've learned from ZOOMing, it is how much I miss non-verbal communication.  Zoom lets you " look at" faces, but it really cannot gaze into another's eyes and connect with them on a soul-level.  Seeing others is a whole lot more than looking at their faces on a screen. I've learned that ZOOM exhausts me, and I've also discovered that there is scientific research data to back up my claim of ZOOM fatigue. As an introvert, I've learned that big ZOOM meetings are especially taxing on my brain. 

 During this political season, I have learned a lot about the views of people I love. To be honest, I felt saddened by learning  some of the views of people I love--- and I am still learning how to engage lovingly  with them. This political season has re-minded me that people need not see eye-to-eye politically to still love one another.  Another valuable lesson I learned  is to mind my words--- especially while using social media. Again, the limits of screen-based communication leave lots of room for misunderstandings. 

  I've learned that my spouse is the most patient spouse! Isolation and mental illness do not mix well , and Brian has been a trooper this year. I now I am not the easiest person with whom to share a home, and he has seldom complained while loving me through my worst days. 

  A lesson that is universal in Pensacola is take storms in the Gulf seriously.  _Sally_ threw us a BIG surprise curve ball, and Escambia County, Florida found itself unprepared. People I know are still recovering from home damage due to _Sally_.  We learned to prepare accordingly every time a named storm enters the Gulf. 

2020 has been a year full of Life Lessons. It has not been a good year-- but one in which I believe when many people learned what is really important in life. 

What have YOU learned this year? Furthermore, how can we take these lessons and live better in the future? 

Peace,

Sarah McCarren 
 

It's Complicated, but I am " Always Appalachian"

                   Photo of me on the trail in the woods of Western North Carolina Photo by Brian

Last evening I finished _Hillbilly_, and independent documentary by Ashley York. The filmmaker returns to the hollows of Kentucky-- where she grew up-- to discover if she can untangle the mess that is America's views of " Hillbillies". 

  Like Ms York, I was born and raised in the hills of Northern Appalachia.  My formative years were spent in rural western Pennsylvania, eastern Ohio & the West Virginia Panhandle  My classmates' fathers had good union jobs at the steel mill until m teen years. I am not the child of  mill worker or miner--- but I grew up with people whose parents were Rust Belters. 

  That deep, rich Appalachian soil is a part of my being. Yet it is not how I define myself. 

   As is Ms York, I am bothered with how people from rural Appalachia are portrayed in media--- and have been mis- represented for decades.  The " hillbilly" image of a toothless, fat, lazy White person has perpetuated Appalachia's image for too long.  Growing up, I knew people who do fit this unfortunate stereotype. However, the people with whom i associated the most are anything but stereotypical. 

   Appalachia is a HUGE region--- composed of all or parts of 13 states. It is a diverse region-- rural and urban. York's documentary focus on rural " hillbillies" , but a visit to Asheville, NC { one pf my favorite cities} , Morgantown WV, or Pittsburgh, PA wil tell a different story.  Appalachian cities are becoming places of scholarship and the arts. In my lifetime, Pittsburgh has re-invented herself from her Rusty roots to a first-rate medical research center. Our visit to Asheville this autumn revealed a city that flourishes with a heathy downtown life { even amidst COVID protocols} 

Rural areas and small towns do present challenges.  It is true that I know people from my rural high school who have died of opioid use. Its true that many people get out after high school graduation--- causing a real " brain drain". Yet some people choose to stay an make their home there & I commend them for bringing hope. 

 It was pointed out that the federal government & the people of rural Appalachia have a messy relationship. Promises of " bringing back coal" did not and will not materialize, but as long as the deciders in Washington DC choose to ignore the economic needs of Appalachians, the problems of the region will continue. 

  Another reason why my relationship with the region in which I grew up is complicated is that my family-of-origin { parents & younger brother} never  really fit in to rural, blue-collar life. Growing up as a child of two hippies in a socially-conservative culture. However, I cannot deny the kindness that most of the people showed me while growing up as a rather odd little duckling.  In retrospect, I am grateful for my " stranger in a strange land" upbringing in Appalachia, because it offered me a perspective of being from Appalachia without being of Appalachia. 

  I love those mountains & I love the people who inhabit them.  I'll return for visits. 

 However, I'll never stay there. Pensacola is home, and I found my niche in this small Gulf Coast city.I understand fully why Ashley York left Kentucky.  

 Peace to all. 

 Sarah McCarren 

The Miracle of Light: and How Light Changes

                                      Hanukkah Menorah ablaze on Night 2 of Hanukkah 2020Photo by The Pensacola Hippie

 Brian and I are observing the eight nights of the Jewish festival of Lights{ also known as Hanukkah} Now before someone gets in my face regarding " cultural appropriation", please recall that I AM of Jewish descent on my Mom's side of my family. Yes, I know I don't " look "Jewish-- but I do not and can not deny my heritage. I'm a proud Christian with Ashkenazi Jewish roots. 

  Anyway , at sundown Brian and I gather at the mantle where we keep our menorah. I first light the shamash  { or ' helper"} candle and say the first blessing.  Then the candles are lit , one for each night of the eight nights that celebrate the miracle of a wee bit of lamp oil lasting for eight full nights. 

  In spite of  holidays of major religions happening during the  darkest part of the year in the Northern Hemisphere, I cannot help but notice the theme of " light" in both Advent & Hanukkah. 

  My Christian faith uses December to prepare to recall the birth of a special Baby, a Baby Whose life & death would re-set the world.  In _Godly Play_ 's Baptism story, we tell the children that the Light  will change form-- and then the storyteller covers the light with a candle snuffer. Then the storyteller says" The Light has not disappeared. It has changed. Look at the smoke rising up and going all around this room. You can't see it-- but the Light is still here. " 

  The Light has changed. It is here, but cannot be seen. It can be felt. 

   Last night my dear paternal Grandmother, Anne, went to her eternal Home . Grandma was surrounded by five of her six children, and the long-distance soul-presence of her kin living in other places. COVID keeps us from gathering to celebrate Anne's life, but I recall the candle light in Godly Play and how the energy from the flame merely changes form. I like to think that our loved ones who have gone Home before us are like the candle light. They are not here in the form that we can see and touch, but their essence -- at death-- changes into something that is everywhere. 

 For me, Resurrection means that Grandma is whole and healthy. Additionally, her non-presence in the physical world provides her loved ones with ways to encounter her spirit. 

  As my Dad said, it will be the first time in half a century that he and Mom won't send a Christmas card to Grandma's address. Yet she'll always be with us--- just like the light of the candle. 

"Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, she-asah nisim laavoteinu v’imoteinu bayamim hahaeim baz’man hazeh. "

" Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of all, who performed wonderous deeds for our ancestors in days of old at this season."

And, from the Book Of Common Prayer Burial: 

O God of grace and glory, we remember before you this day
our sister ) Anne We thank you for giving her to us, her
family and friends, to know and to love as a companion on
our earthly pilgrimage. In your boundless compassion,
console us who mourn. Give us faith to see in death the gate
of eternal life, so that in quiet confidence we may continue
our course on earth, until, by your call, we are reunited with
those who have gone before; through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.

~Sarah McCarren 

 11 Dec 2020

 

Keeping Watch... and Giving Thanks

 

                         Grandma Anne's 88th birthday photo. I do not know who to credit for this photo. 

 Tonight, as I " keep watch" with the Pennsylvania McCarrens as Grandma navigates that sacred space between our temporal existence & the promise of a new, different way of being.  This prayer-- which happens to be my favorite nighttime prayer-- takes on a special meaning as it was prayed during online  Evening Prayer . 

        Keep watch, dear Lord, with those who work, or watch, or weep this night, and give your angels charge over those who sleep. Tend the sick, Lord Christ; give rest to the weary, bless the dying, soothe the suffering, pity the afflicted, shield the joyous; and all for your love's sake. Amen. ~~Evening Prayer, Rite 2 Book of Common Prayer

My dear grandmother is prepping to meet Jesus. I'm sad , but I know that Grandma will be happy, healthy & whole in this new existence that we Christians only glimpse into at the Communion rail. Soon, Grandma will take that final step into Communion with her LORD & Savior. This is a joyous occasion for her-- the body that she inhabited for 90 years will finally let her soul--- her essence-- free.

She'll finally meet this Jesus--- about Whom I'd not know a thing if not for her taking me to Mass when I was a small child. He will say' Well-done, good and faithful servant Anne. '

But meanwhile, COVID tide robs those of us who love Anne from celebrating her long life as she deserves. There will be a funeral Mass said a the Catholic church where she's been a faithful member for her entire adult life. A burial in the cemetery in Coylesville, PA will follow. Both events will be closed to the public and have only five of the six children in attendance. { A COVID ban keeps my Dad in Florida. }

Grandma is a nurse by profession and enjoyed a long career in the healthcare industry. She has spent her entire life in Butler County, PA and married a man from the same county. They have six children-- five of whom still live in the area near Grandma's house. Several of Anne's 15 adult grandchildren live in the area while others { such as myself} watch and wait from afar. Some of Grandma's six great-grandchildren are blessed enough to spend a little of time with her.

Love dictates that we stay safe and keep others safe. Grandma wouldn't want anyone to get sick.

So we watch and wait from afar. What angers me is that this long-distance wait and watch could have been avoided had COVID been corralled properly early in the pandemic. Yet here we are & I am on some excellent advice to look for the good in each day. Here we go:

~ No one in my immediate circle has fallen ill with COVID. My small contact trace has been clean thus far. Of the people I know who have caught it-- only one has died.

~ Early winter in Northwest Florida is beautiful. And, its an added bonus to be free of named storms for a few months.

~My spouse's heath has remained great. He impresses his doctors.

~Both my parents are alive & healthy. Middle age is when folx start losing parents.

~I have food, safe housing, and plenty of clothes to wear.

~We can pay our utility bill each month.

~ Our vehicle is paid for. So is our house.

~Even in the middle of a pandemic, my church family has remained Real, Rooted & Relevent .

~My Grandma Anne has been a part of my life for almost 45 years.

"Love Travels: even between the Now and the Hereafter.

Amen.

Sarah McCarren

8 Dec 2020

#AdventWord #Fellowship

 

                               Me and my " class " for Reaffirmation of Baptismal vows: 2018 . Photo credit unknown . 

Today's word is FELLOWSHIP. 

It has been 9 months since pre-Covid life.  And as much as it sucks, we are adjusted to living an isolated existence in order to stay alive { and keep other alive} for the New Year. 

Loving others means limiting in-person contact. It is hard to see the ending of this necessary isolation, 

Humans are social creatures-- even we introverts! Pandemic Season grates on all of our hearts--- as even the little amount of fellowship we allow is altered to keep everyone safe. While I am grateful for the small amount of in-person fellowship Brian and I enjoy--- my heart longs for post-Covid times when we may gather together safely. 

Maintaining relationships using only online media is exhausting. I've learned that I must limit my Zoom & Facebook Live time to prevent tech burnout.  I've discovered that the Daily Offices that my church offers twice each weekday soothes my soul and helps me " keep time". Big Zoom meetings frustrate and sadden me, especially when all but the speaker{s} are " muted" & the chat feature disabled.  Of course I know that this is  necessary to keep all from talking at once, but it still makes my heart sad. 

 I majored in Communications in college, so I've an academic interest in ways that people communicate during Covid. Recently I've read some studies on " Zoom Fatigue" and psychologists and experts in human communication agree that people miss a lot of nonverbal communication cues when gathering online. Most communication between & among humans is nonverbal, and when you are looking at several people in a Hollywood Squares type of format the rain tires quickly. 

Tomorrow I will join a big Zoom event with people around my Diocese. It will be a " virtual coffee hour" with folx  in order to celebrate our Diocese turning 50 years old. Originally, this week's agenda was chock full of wonderful worship & fellowship activities. Obviously COVID robbed us of this wonderful chance to gather in-person for worship and fellowship. 

I attended the virtual Evensong last evening, with the right to " leave" if I felt overwhelmed. I stayed tuned-in until the organ's postlude. Our sister parish downtown did an outstanding jo of creating a safe sacred worship space. This evening I'm looking forward to the virtual " revival { it seems weird to use that word in Episcopal circles} featuring Presiding Bishop Michel Curry and Bryan Stevenson, of Equal Justice Initiative fame. Again, I reserve the right to check out for a few minutes if I feel overwhelmed by the stimuli. 

We need each other--- in spite of and perhaps because of these weird times in human history. I am grateful for technology that allows us to have fellowship  in a safe way. Yet I've learned to never take for granted the power of human touch. After all , God created us with five senses-- not just sight and hearing. 

Wear the mask, so we can ALL enjoy the freedom of in-person fellowship with our communities. 

Wear the MASK. 

Amen. 

~Sarah McCarren

4 Dec 2020