Liv’s
Reply: An SVU Fan Fiction
By:
The Pensacola Hippie
I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS. CREDIT
TO DICK WOLF
Olivia
Benson sat at her small dinette . Noah had just gone to bed, and Liv decided
that tonight was the night that she would respond to Eliot’s letter. It has
been a week since she opened the letter he wrote to her, her and much has
changed. Kathy, his wife, is dead and Eliot is working on something that he
refuses to discuss with her. As a matter of fact, he’d asked her to “ back
off”.
That stung.
They’d always shared everything and now her former partner will not even
let her know anything about his job here in New York.
Lived put a smooth sheet of yellow paper on
the table and uncapped an ink pen. Tucking a strand of brown hair behind her
ear and donning a pair of black reading glasses, she began to write.
Dear
Eliot…
I read
your letter. In light of all that has happened since you originally penned that
letter to me, I am finding words fail me.
As I said
before. YOU were the most important person to me, and one day Cragan tells me
that you quit. Did Fin tell you that Cragan made me clean out your old squad
room desk? “ Eliot’s not coming back, Liv” is what he said.
Now
you’re back, and I won’t deny that I’ve missed you. When you left, I was
partnered with another cop, Nick Amaro. He was good for me in ways that working
with you was not ; I’d grown more confident in my role as a cop while Nick and
I were partners.
That’s
all Nick and I were to each other: Partners.
He was a
great one, and always had my back. I could count on him to save my life. But I
could not count on him to know how I like my coffee. Working undercover as a “
couple” with him was awkward.
I love
you, Eliot. To be honest, I have always loved you. I kept our relationship
platonic because I respected the fact that you love your family. I worked damn
hard to assure Kathy that you and I were never sexually intimate , but she knew
that we were closer than many married couples. She once told me that I know
things about your life that she will never know and she’s correct. She understood
our soul connection much more than we ever credited her—even when she was on
that hospital bed she recognized our soul connection.
“ Look at
the two of you, just like the old days. Always in synch”.
And that
is why your leaving hurt me the most, Eliot. You could not, or would not, give
me the courtesy of discussing your idea to retire. You. Just. Disappeared.
I moved
on with my life after you left—not because I WANTED to, but because you left me
with no choice. You were gone from my life, but I still had a job to do. I
worked with other partners, and even dated some men. However, the accomplishment of the past ten
years which gives me the most joy is my son, Noah.
You are a
parent, so you understand the parental urge to shield our children from
heartbreak. My son has already been through more heartbreak than most adults I
know—so I am VERY careful whom I let into his inner circle.
I don’t
want Noah to learn to love you only to have you disappear from our lives. I would LOVE for Noah to get to know Eli and
your other children, but I need assurance that you are not a flight risk.
Can you
promise me that, Eliot? Can you PROVE that you will not disappear again? I love you, Eliot—and I always will. But that
does not mean that I am ready for us to resume our close relationship—both of
us have been through hell this past week. I know you are hurting at losing
Kathy, too, and I don’t want to stand in the way of your grieving. Please, take
time to grieve.
Eliot, we
still have a lot to discuss. Why did you tell me to ‘ back off’ when I asked
how you were feeling? Don’t bullshit me—I know there is something that you are
keeping from me. I’m tired of the silence and secrets between us, Eliot.
We both
need time to heal.
I love
you, too.
~Liv
Olivia put
down her pen, folded the paper into thirds, and stuffed it into an envelope.
Carefully she wrote Eliot’s name on the front of the envelope, and vowed to drop it off in the lobby of his
apartment building tomorrow.
She checked
on Noah and went to her room, trying hard to not think about how right
Eliot’s arms around her felt as she held him after the news of Kathy’s death,
Ten . Long.
Years.
###
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