Lent While Lenting 2022

                                            Yellow Rose Photo by The Pensacola Hippie 

Here we are: It is Fat Tuesday, 2022. Lent begins tomorrow-- a time for we Christians to seek a deeper relationship with The Divine. 

To be honest, I feel like I've been " living Lent" since spring 2019. Brian's cancer diagnosis came at that time & it rocked my faith and took me on a journey that I would not wish on anyone.  Thankfully, Brian is cancer -free now. In addition to Cancer's unwanted visit to our home, we've {along with everyone else} been stuck in Pandemic Holding Pattern for two long years. What once was a " lay low for two weeks" request became a months-long lockdown, followed by months more of restricted activity. 

Honestly, this is the Lentiest I've ever felt. While I DO wish to get closer to Creator God-- at the same time I feel like my call to be a good citizen-- keep others safe by seriously curtaining my life-- has been one BIG fast. 

I'm tired and angry, y'all. These past two years of Pandemic Life has shown me a seriously messed up underbelly of humans {those who STILL will not mask & get their shots} a near takeover of the US government by radicals, and no we are looking at the possibility of World War 3. 

My cup is empty. This season, I am employing practices that bring me closer to The Creator by filling my soul with gratitude, forgiveness and hope.  After three {and counting...} of living life in a ' fight or flight" mode, I am in need of refreshment and renewal. 

One of the ways that I'll cleanse my achy soul is by making use of the Rite of Reconciliation that is found in the Book of Common Prayer on Thursday. It is my hope and prayer that, by confessing my sins to a loving Creator in the presence of my priest I can relieve the sins of anger and resentment. Through the Pandemic, I've " sucked it up" for my own safety and the safety of others and I am DONE with self-sacrifice My priest is a person-- one of the few-- whom I trust completely, and I know she'll guide me through the process of feeling God's forgiveness and forgiving myself.  It is hard to find specific words to name my destructive emotions-- especially after holding most of it within myself for so long. Suffice it to say that I AM DONE BEING YOUR " GOOD SPORT".  I want nice things, and I deserve nice tings after giving up while others walk mask-less and now vaccine-less. 

Praying with and for the people of Ukraine. 

Amen

Sarah McCarren

Mardi Gras 2022

#PrayersForUkraine

 I woke this morning to news that I'd been expecting over the last five years. Russia attacked Ukraine. 

I am scared shit-less.  Putin has had way too much support over the past few years, and he now is trying to re-create the USSR-- the same USSR that we generation-X people remember & would rather forget. 

All I can do-- all anyone can do from where we sit in the States, is pray. 

I pray for the people who are in harm's way. 

I pray that the Congress will tread carefully and discern the safest way to deal with Russia's aggression

I pray that the infrastructure ere in this nation stays intact-- including our Internet & communications highways. Earlier today Brian& I experiences a brief but total Internet outage -- the first thought was " damn those Russians. Cyber war is a threat that needs to be taken seriously right now. Since all of our infrastructure runs via computer--a massive Internet outage can be a disaster.   

I give thanks for peacekeepers and pray that the situation can be resolved without escalating into World War 3. 

My rector, a retired Army colonel, wrote these words in a pastoral letter to our congregation today. 

"I pray for the ethical decision making of military leaders; for the combatants on both sides, who get caught up in a war not of their choosing. 

And I ask the Prince of Peace, that his Spirit of Peace would guide leaders into the wisdom of rational cooperation. That somehow, there would not be an escalation." ~Reverend Colonel 

Friends, we all are interconnected.  What happens across the globe has direct ramifications for the world's population. 

No matter who we voted for back in November of 2021, now we need to unite as Americans and as humans & pray for a safe de-escalation of the situation in Ukraine. We need to hold up our siblings in that nation-- pray for their protection & that the loss of life be minimal. 

In the Name of the Holy Trinity...

Sarah McCarren

2/24/22

#DIOCGC22 Back, and in-Person

                                           2022 is a better year. Photo by Brian. 

After two years away, I am happy to report that I am attending this year's Convention of The Episcopal Church in The Central Gulf Coast. As someone wo is ** not** a voting delegate, I am not required to tune into tonight's business session via Zoom. Amen to this-- as I hate Zoom & would have tuned in if needed but am grateful for the pass this year. 

Brian & I already packed and took care of various household needs, so to get an early start on our day trip over to Fort Walton Beach, Florida. 

\I got my hair trimmed & found an adorable dress at Beall's Outlet. For almost two years, tere was no need to buy new clothes, so I took this opportunity for some retail therapy. 

 Michael Curry+, the Presiding Bishop of The Episcopal Church, is the guest keynote speaker. I'm looking forward to Brian's first chance to meet him & am also waiting to tell him that I KNEW years ago {he was the guest bishop at a Convention here} that he would end up as our Presiding Bishop. 

Also, I am totally stoked to get to see many loved ones from around my Diocese-- most of whom I'd not seen since this Pandemic arrived on our shores. I know that the organizers of the in-person portion of the Convention have done their due diligence regarding COVID safety. 

If you are on Instagram, I will post photos there. My IG handle is : the_pensacola_hippie . 

Peace...

Sarah McCarren

february 17 2022. 
 

St Brigid & Growing up " Both/And"

                                             My altar at home. St Brigid features permanently. Photo by The

                                              Pensacola Hippie. 

Today is February 1, 2022. 

It is, in Celtic Druid spirituality, the feast of Imbolc-- halfway to the Spring Equinox. The days are getting longer and here in Florida, we are seeing less " Florida Winter Weather. " Brian and I are tending to our rose garden and he is planning which crops he will plant in our raised-bed garden. 

 Brigid is one of three major Celtic Christian saints. 

For many Christians, today is the feast day of St Brigid of Ireland. Brigid was born in Ireland -- the daughter of Druid chief and his Christian slave. One of the traits I share with this saint-- other than a love of nature and expressing my faith by service with and to others is an interfaith upbringing. Brigid's mother taught her about Jesus and Brigid became a Christian. Yet she understood her Druid heritage 

Growing up interfaith was mostly a blessing for me.  Yet sometimes being " both/and"--having one foot in the Christian world and one foot in Judaism - was a lonely space for me. Everyone I knew went to church on Sunday or Shabbat services at synagogues. Most of churchgoing relatives & friends at that time were Catholic, so this meant that they {along with my Jewish kin} had Religious Education classes on weekends. The McCarren Weekend rituals included cartoons on Saturday and watching _Sunday Morning_ with Charles Kuralt with the parents. 

Many of my peers had religious coming-of-age rituals {such as First Communion for my Catholic Christian friends & a Bar or Bat Mitzvah for Jewish young people} It was hard identifying as " both/and while also feeling like a religious imposter. 

 Even today-- 25 years after my baptism into Christianity-- I still have imposter syndrome. Thankfully, I belong to a church community that celebrates our individual faith walks-- that all baptized persons can claim Christianity. I've met one handful of people who share the experience of either growing up in an interfaith household or having a spouse of a different faith. As an adult, I am grateful for the opportunity to choose my own faith path--- and using that experience as being sort of a " bridge" between we Christians and our Jewish neighbors. 

Within the past four years or so, I've been exploring the Jewish roots of Jesus. The Savior of the world and myself share one thing--we were born to Jewish mothers.  While I am a Christian, part of my DNA is Ashkenazi Jewish and {according to Jewish law} am a member of the Jewish community for life. While I am a Christian, my interfaith experience has shaped and continues to shape me as a walk with Christ now. 

St Brigid shows me that the gift of being " both/and" comes with its own unique baggage. But I also hope that God will show ways to use me as a bridge-builder in a culture that seems to continue to place walls between us and our neighbors.  Jewish journalist and professor mark Oppenheimer said that the best way for people of faith to really learn about each other is to visit each other in their worship space on any average week. I've been blessed to witness several Jewish rites of passage rituals and I feel that my Christian faith is strengthened from these experiences. 

In the Name of the Holy Three....

Sarah McCarren

1 February 2022

The Collect for Brigid of Kildare O God, whose servant Brigid, kindled with the flame of your love, became a shining light in your Church: Grant that we also may be aflame with the spirit of love and discipline, and walk before you as children of light; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.

My Action Intention for 2022: HEAL

                        Beading is HARD: Here is my hand-strung Action Intention for Year 2022

 I am cautiously optimistic regarding Year 2022. I do not want to set the bar too high--- after all 2021 ended up a real cluster mug of a year--- for several reasons. Naturalist Jane Goodall says: humans need hope to survive as a species. 

 In that hope-full spirit, I've chose two words to guide me for 2022. First: my meditation word is REMEMBER.  Additionally, I've chosen another verb-- an action-- which to intentionally practice this calendar year. My Action Verb is: HEAL. 

 There is no doubt in my mind that there are a lot of people in need of healing now. While many of my thoughts go out to those most affected by either being sick with COVID or losing a loved on to this pandemic, ALL of us have some healing to do. 

  Jobs were lost. Marriages ended Thankfully, neither of these happened to me, but I am mindful of others whose Pandemic Collateral includes lost income and broken marriages. 

  Family ties have been strained or broken {regarding vaccination status and the contentious 2020 political season} 

 People stayed physically away from loved ones in order to keep others safe--- celebrations were either muted or totally cancelled in 2021. 

  We are all hurting. 

  For my own sanity and spiritual wellness: i need to:

~ Name the hurts that I've both experienced myself and inflicted upon others. 

~Confess to God in the presence of my trusted priest. This will help me put all the hurts into a big " God Box" 

~Make reparations if needed. 

~ Finally, I shall let that shit go. It is a heavy load, and I am weary of carrying it. 

Amen. 

Sarah McCarren

1/22/22

              
 

_Squirrel Hill_ and being a Christian with Ethnic Jewish Heritage

                                Flyer advertising the event with author Mark Oppenheimer's event in Mobile, Alabama next week. 

  Brian and I will attend a lecture/ book signing with Mark Oppenheimer, the writer of the new book _Squirrel Hill: The Tree of Life Synagogue & the Soul of a Neighborhood_ next week. The event, hosted by the Mobile Jewish federation, will be in Mobile on Wednesday evening. Brian, the wonderful spouse that he is, is willing to go with me to hear this author -- a well-known Jewish person with deep roots in Pittsburgh speak to an interfaith crowd.. It will be healing for me-- a Christian woman with family roots in Jewish Pittsburgh--continue to heal from the horrible attack on Tree of Life Synagogue. 

 I am Christian and proud of my faith. But as a person who was raised interfaith {we had a diverse, fun-filled childhood and was not baptized until age 20, violence against any Jews is personal to me. The fact that this occurred in a neighborhood in Pittsburgh that I've walked more than once further connects me to this neighborhood & the people who live here. 

  As I am connected spiritually to the Central Gulf Coast Episcopalian Christians, I am connected by literal DNA to Squirrel Hill Jews. 

 Antisemitism is real, and I've had things said to me as a child that no one should hear. People are cruel-- and it has been my experience that adults utter antisemitic {as well as racial, and anti LGBTQ+} slurs. My schoolmates didn't give a second thought of my interfaith background. However, some of their parents were not kind. Growing up in a rural, working-class area where everyone went to church on Sunday, so we were the odd family. 

Growing up interfaith in Greater Pittsburgh was a mostly wonderful way to be a child. My brother and I learned about various special days that our mom celebrated as a child. We also learned at an early age that not everyone prays in the same way. Our parents wisely did not push either Judaism or {Roman Catholic} Christianity on us. 

 Again, I say that I am proudly Christian, and totally at home in The Episcopal Church. But I am also proud of my heritage-- especially since Jews are almost nonexistent outside of the Pittsburgh City Limits. 

 I cannot and shall not forget that some Americans hate people just for different ethnic/religious ways of life. Each and every American should NEVER FORGET that all of Abraham's Children need to learn to get along. 

Shalom...

Sarah McCarren 

1/20/22 

Movie _ The Giver_ & St Irenaeus' quote on Being Human

                                         Me at the Mile High Swinging Bridge in western NC's Grandfather Mountain. I feel " fully human" and " fully alive" when I am in Creation. Photo by Brian. 

The glory of God is the human being fully alive.” 
~ St. Irenaeus of Lyon (AD 202)

Last evening, I watched a full movie on Netflix. Now please understand that I usually need to watch movies in two parts-- due to my poor eyesight & small size of my Kindle Fire tablet. 

 I had first encountered the story in _The Giver_ as a teen novel written by Lois Lowry. The novel, required reading for my Teen Literature course in college, is set in a futuristic society where Sameness is the law of the land. Each Family Unit {one woman, one man and two children-- one of each gender} live in Dwellings in perfectly manicured lawns. Each resident, in a coming-of-age Ceremony, is told what their future job will be-- the Sameness & a big brother-type government that would make libertarian-leaning conspiracy theorists soil their pants-- assigns each person a job. 

 Jonas, our hero {there are no last names here} is the last one of his graduating class who had not been assigned. the Chief Elder {played brilliantly by Meryl Streep} then tells the Community that Joans has been chosen to be the next Receiver of Memories. This person, who is held in high esteem by everyone, advises the Elders by looking back into history to a time before Sameness.  Jonas immediately begins training with the current Receiver {played by Jeff Bridges} Jonas asks his trainer what he should call him, and the old man says, "Call me The Giver". 

 The Giver transmits memories of things such as snow, music, dancing. Joans begins to notice colors in a world that became neutral in hue many years ago. The Giver also tells Jonas that he needs to stop taking the daily injections that each Community member takes in the morning. By doing so, Jonas learns what emotions are; and for the first time can feel LOVE. 

I won't give away any more plot points, but the movie had me musing about what it means to be " fully human". After all, we are messy creatures: with our capacity to communicate comes the various emotions that are part of living as a human.  

In order for the Communities in the book & novel to exist without conflict or pain, all memories and emotions associated with those experiences were taken away and {somehow} stored within the mind of the Receiver of Memories. 

Seeing all that Sameness portrayed in black and white and the sterility of the Community members other than Jonas and his mentor made me sad. I cannot imagine living in a sterile society without colors, changing seasons, art and music. 

But most of all, I cannot imagine life without emotions. While it is true that emotions can be trouble for us if we cannot control them, but the ability to love others is essential to our humanity. 

We have a Creator that loved humanity so much that The Creator became human-- complete with all our messiness-- and walked among other humans.  Our Creator loves Creation so much that They chose to humble Themself and be born in human flesh. Our Creator knows intimately how humans are made--- and trusts us with the gifts given to us that make us different from other creatures. 

Thank God that we are not living in Sameness. 

In the Name of the Holy Three....

Sarah McCarren 

1/19/2022