Piano Playing As Contemplation

                                      My Facebook contacts are probably sick of this photo. But to me it is more than a practice area {our house is too small for a " music room"}, it is a place where I can find peace. Photo by me. 

I'm middle-aged and deal with challenges associated with a birth injury. I was delivered with forceps, a tool they used in the 1970's for ' assisted birth'. Rather order an emergency C-section, the doctors used what look like huge kitchen tongs to pull Newborn Sarah headfirst into the world. 

 Seriously, who decided that pulling a newborn from its mother's body with damn kitchen tongs was safe? 

 I'm one of the more fortunate people who were pulled into the world in this manner, but my birth left me with some deficiencies. 

 I cannot safely ride a bicycle.

Nor can I safely drive, as my right and left feet do not cooperate in a safe way on the floor pedals {and I really do not want to talk about the occupational therapist's report after they did their best to help me drive.} I want to drive, I physically cannot. 

 Learning to type in high school was hellish. Thankfully, I devised my own weird system for typing. It isn't what Mrs. C unsuccessfully tried to make me learn, but I can type. 

At the age of " approaching 50 in a few years" I am learning to play the piano.  

 For this opportunity I am blessed. 

As a clumsy child, I'd always wished for piano lessons.  Sadly, my physical challenges made teachers and other adults in my life mark me as not musically inclined. 

I did sing in choirs from first grade until now, and that experience provided me with a very basic understanding of music theory. I'm starting with the basics of piano, hand placement, finding notes, and running through simple exercises that help me both learn notation and work out the brain-hands pathway. 

The physical aspects of learning piano do not come easy for me. My fingers sometimes slip and play the wrong note. Rather than get frustrated because I made a mistake, I play the same measure again-- slower and with intention. 

All of us could slow down and be intentional for half an hour each day. Piano practice teaches me to really slow down and be present in the moment. 

I've discovered that playing the piano puts me into a contemplative mindset. When I focus on playing music-- playing music for music's sake-- my brain concentrates on the task at hand and leaves all the inner noise outside. At practice-- it is just myself, the music and my Creator. It is a lovely gift that I give to myself every morning. As an added bonus, my electric keyboard has headphones, so Brian does not listen to my mistakes. 

I've no delusions about being a great pianist. Oddly enough, removing that pressure to be " the best" at music leaves room for me to enjoy the learning process. 

At midlife I am learning something that I have wanted to learn. 

I'm finding a contemplative peace in the process. 

I'm doing something people told me I could never do. 

I am making music. 

Sarah Beth:1 Doubters:0 

Namaste....

Sarah Beth McCarren 

12/16/22

Advent 4