I Hated High School

                           Half of my class picture for Senior Year. See if you can find me.

Unlike most Americans, Prom and Graduation Season do not conjure any sweet memories for me. 

I hated High School---- and leaving was one of the happiest days of my life. 

In spite of the fact that i was an athlete, was in the college-prep path of classes, and dressed well, high school was a mine field every damn day.  It was a new battle every day when I hopped on that school bus. 

People bullied me. One girl in particular, with whom I'd been in school all my life and whose mother was friendly with my Mom-- made it her business to torture me. 

I have always said that guys have it easier when it comes to bullying. Guys just beat the crap out of each other & are pals the next day. Not so with females: We hurt each other with words and by purposly omitting " undesirables" from the group. 

This is what " Annie" did to me. She and I were on the same sports team, and since I did not drive, I was dependent on her for transport home from track meets & practices. I knew damn well that " Annie" did not want to give my shy, awkward, unpopular self rides home, but her mom insisted that she comply. 

I wasn't wanted. 

The situation with " Annie" was just one hurtful example of how the other teen girls treated me. To be honest, I never figured why " Annie" and the other Mean Girls hated me so much. I spent most of High school either buried in books or alone in the girls' restroom or hiding under the bleachers on warm days. 

I navigated the long bus rides to away games & meets by employing my Walkman and my collection of cassette tapes. 

Over a quarter century later & I am thriving. One of the best choices I made was to move completely away from that sad rural Appalachian community. I do NOT regret leaving all those sad memories behind, but I DO want to ask people to remember that not everyone sentimentalizes high school graduation. Many of us view our graduation as an escape from years of torment at the hands of our peers. 

Not all members of the Class of 2021 are sad about leaving their K12 years behind. For them, life will get so much better. I'm proud of all I have accomplished since high school . One of the biggest lessons that " Annie" and all the other Mean Kids of EHS Class of 1994 taught me is that bullies are really just broken people taking their shit out on someone whom they see as ' weak'. Guess what, punks?  Years of torture at your hands have only made me stronger. 

As for " Annie" I have forgiven her, but will never forget her years of being what kids today would call a " frememy". I hated those car rides home from practice as much as she did. 

Namaste...

Sarah McCarren

5 June 2021