Anyone who knows me at all knows that I am totally " fangirling" {is this even a word... at any rate it is now} over Mariska Hargitay. I've been a faithful viewer of Law and Order: SVU since its premiere season back in 1999. I'd just moved to Florida less than a year, and still felt like I was flailing around anchorless. The character of " Olivia Benson" and I grew up together.
I don't " fangirl" often, but the more I learn about my favorite actress, the more I want to {somehow and someday} meet her in person. Unlike a lot of Hollywood actresses, Mariska Hargitay embraces ageing. She's in her late-50's and wears her more mature years well. Of course, it helps that her parents were Jayne Mansfield {Sorry, Marilyn shippers, I'm Team Jayne} and { Mr Universe} Mickey Hargitay-- she hit the gene pool jackpot.
Anyway, when scrolling my Twitter account on Sunday, I came across this quote by my favorite actress:
" I used to think that everyone was better than me, Now I know what I bring to the table."
Yes. Yes. Yes.
This quote summarizes most of my experience here in Pensacola. For years, I felt like I did not belong, that I am inherently flawed-- that God made some joke on humanity by creating me as They did. To my credit, I am 100 percent resilient, and I learned to at least find a place at the corner of the Table of Life. I worked hard to blend in and not make waves, a skill I developed in middle and high school in order to hide from bullies. Heck, most of the time I felt content to not be invited to the table, because I knew people could not accept my full self.
It was lonely.
It wasn't until Brian and I made the big move to Pensacola that I broke out of my shell enough to let people see my full self. Finding a faith community where I {and everyone else} is AFFIRMED is a big part of my newfound confidence. Not long-ago Brian and I discussed what it means to be " welcoming" versus really AFFIRMING people who might not fit our mold-- especially in Christian circles.
here is an article on affirming versus welcoming that explains the difference between two similar, but distinct adjectives.
We can WELCOME people into our lives & communities, as long as they ' know their place'.
We AFFIRM someone when we see their full self and integrate them fully into our personal/common lives.
Feeling invisible, or worse--- feeling totally unwanted, in a faith community hurts. This can be something as arbitrary as age and/or gender-- some communities cannot or will not see younger women as bringing anything of value to the table. However, if one's spouse is a man of a certain age, he's clearly invited to the table.
Invisibility sucks. I'm glad I am not invisible, but many others wait silently and hope-full, as I did.
Knowing that I am loved just as God made me and affirmed in my community is such a blessing. yet I speak from points of privilege: I am White, cis-gendered and middle-class. My challenge is: How can we make all persons feel affirmed, knowing that their presence at the table will enrich everyone?
Amen.
Sarah McCarren
September 13 2022
Feast Of the Holy Cross
No comments:
Post a Comment