Yellow Rose Photo by The Pensacola Hippie
Here we are: It is Fat Tuesday, 2022. Lent begins tomorrow-- a time for we Christians to seek a deeper relationship with The Divine.
To be honest, I feel like I've been " living Lent" since spring 2019. Brian's cancer diagnosis came at that time & it rocked my faith and took me on a journey that I would not wish on anyone. Thankfully, Brian is cancer -free now. In addition to Cancer's unwanted visit to our home, we've {along with everyone else} been stuck in Pandemic Holding Pattern for two long years. What once was a " lay low for two weeks" request became a months-long lockdown, followed by months more of restricted activity.
Honestly, this is the Lentiest I've ever felt. While I DO wish to get closer to Creator God-- at the same time I feel like my call to be a good citizen-- keep others safe by seriously curtaining my life-- has been one BIG fast.
I'm tired and angry, y'all. These past two years of Pandemic Life has shown me a seriously messed up underbelly of humans {those who STILL will not mask & get their shots} a near takeover of the US government by radicals, and no we are looking at the possibility of World War 3.
My cup is empty. This season, I am employing practices that bring me closer to The Creator by filling my soul with gratitude, forgiveness and hope. After three {and counting...} of living life in a ' fight or flight" mode, I am in need of refreshment and renewal.
One of the ways that I'll cleanse my achy soul is by making use of the Rite of Reconciliation that is found in the Book of Common Prayer on Thursday. It is my hope and prayer that, by confessing my sins to a loving Creator in the presence of my priest I can relieve the sins of anger and resentment. Through the Pandemic, I've " sucked it up" for my own safety and the safety of others and I am DONE with self-sacrifice My priest is a person-- one of the few-- whom I trust completely, and I know she'll guide me through the process of feeling God's forgiveness and forgiving myself. It is hard to find specific words to name my destructive emotions-- especially after holding most of it within myself for so long. Suffice it to say that I AM DONE BEING YOUR " GOOD SPORT". I want nice things, and I deserve nice tings after giving up while others walk mask-less and now vaccine-less.
Praying with and for the people of Ukraine.
Amen
Sarah McCarren
Mardi Gras 2022
